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30. Make up a language and ask people for directions.
29. Stare at people through the lines of a fork and pretend that they are in jail.
28. Lie on your back eating celery...using your navel as a salt dipper.
27. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
26. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
25. Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
24. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
23. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
22. Polish your car with ear wax.
21. Tell your boss to blow it our of his toupee and let him figure it out.
20. Refresh yourself. Put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
19. Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg.
18. Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the "Flintstones"
during that important finance meeting.
17. Drive to work in reverse.
16. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
15. Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to you boss' wife.
14. Go shopping, Buy everything, Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
13. Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
12. Tape pictures of you boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
11. Tatoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
10. Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
9. Put you toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to preschool as if nothing
was wrong.
8. Dance naked in front of your pets.
7. Make a list of things that you have already done.
6. Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candygram.
5. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
4. When someone says "have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
1. Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. |
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