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| Poetry! Yes! Now! |
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| Sonja Blundell |
BLACK TANGLED HEART
In a twisted web of lies
Covered with all that you deny
Lies a black tangled heart
being slowly ripped apart
The heart slowly bleeds
Not knowing what it needs
Breathing in what you deny
The truth slowly dies
All it knows is what you fear
Not wanting anyone near
So be careful what you say
it could be your heart someday
that's slowly ripped apart
It could be your Black Tangled Heart
Copyright © Sonja Blundell
January, 2000
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
JEALOUSY
It makes you do crazy things
Say things you just don't mean
Do stuff you'd never do
Just because it's hurting you
You try so hard to keep your cool
Try so hard not to play the fool
To get the attention of the one you love
But you know others he's thinking of
He says he loves you yet there is doubt
That you're the one he can't live without
You want to trust him with all your heart
When he sees them it rips your soul apart
You try to hide it but it's still there
You go on and act as if you don't care
You let him see them, get further away from you
What else are you supposed to do
You love him truly with all your heart
And yet it rips your soul apart
He may not be doing something wrong
But you worry when he's gone too long
When no one else loves you
What are you to do
Take it and say nothing to him
Just so you can be with him
You love him oh so very much
Love the softness of his touch
Even though he's still with you
There's nothing else for you to do
You feel the pain jealousy has done
Pain so bad you want to run
Though he's loyal now
You have to wonder how
That word could cause so much pain
When you hear another's name
Everyone gets it, there is no cure
Even when you're very sure
He won't cheat or run away
That he's there with you to stay
But, it's always there -
That thought - what if....
Copyright © Sonja Blundell
AnglnTTwn@aol.com, August 1999
LONELINESS IT WAS THAT BROKE MY HEART
Growing darkness, bringing pain
Silent tears fall like rain
Heartbroken
Words unspoken
Tears of sadness roll down my face
And loneliness is now the only place
The only place that I know
There is no where left for me to go
My sadness forms a shallow grave
There's no one here to save
This lost soul from destruction
No one to give me some instruction
Tears of sadness running down my face
I run and hide in my secret place
I pick a rose
Hope no one knows
Knows the pain that I am feeling
Pain that will never start healing.
I lay down on the ground
Let the tears fall without a sound
The loneliness has found me again
And heartache is something I don't have to pretend
I'm dressed in all black with a red rose in my hand
Lying there silently in the sand
Death is what I'm waiting for
Now I am dead, there is no more
The loneliness that broke my heart
With that I ended I could start
© Sonja Blundell, 6-18-98
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
TEARS
Lonely teardrops keep falling from my eyes
Falling like the pouring rain outside
The only sound I can hear is my heart breaking
I know all to well this aching
It seems as if it will last forever
Even though my mind says never
How could love hurt this bad
Make you feel lonely and sad
Why is it that everything reminds me of you
What in the world am I to do
I'm going crazy in this world I'm in
Even though it's the same it's always been
I still go on from day to day
I make it through in my own way
But I can't help these tears that fall from my eyes
With every tear part of me dies
I'm dying slowly as these tears fall
Not knowing how to stop them at all
I don't know if they will ever end
Or if my heart will ever mend
But one thing is for certain it's hard to go on
When the one you love is gone....
Copyright © Sonja Blundell
August, 1999
AnglTTwn@aol.com
FOOLISH PRIDE
My foolish heart is drowning in my stubborn pride
Making me run from things I just can't hide
Not letting me tell you what I feel for you
Leaving me to suffer the way I do
Wanting to touch you and hold you near
But I can't because these are the things my heart fears
Telling you I love you is just too hard to bear
Because if you said you didn't my heart would tear
My foolish heart won't let you see
That you mean everything to me
If only I wouldn't choke with my pride
I'd have you right here by my side
Copyright © Sonja Blundell
AnglnTTwn@aol.com, August 1999
I WAS LOST BUT NOW I'M FOUND
As I sit here scared and all alone
I say to myself I have no home
I guess I'm destined to roam around
A lost soul never to be found
I sleep on the streets at night
The stars in the sky, my only light
Singing birds wake me at the crack of dawn
I find I was sleeping on someone's lawn
My clothes are torn
And a passerby thinks "I'm glad I'm not poor.
At least I have a place to sleep."
He looks at me and starts to weep
He looks down at his shoes
And says, "What do I have to lose?"
As I look at him and start to wonder
All of a sudden there is thunder
He looks at me and smiles and says,
"My home is a couple of miles away"
I look at him and say
"You've turned my night into day
Now I have a place to sleep"
Then I start to weep
I'm happy because I'm not alone
I say to myself "I have a home.
I guess I'm not destined to roam around
I was a lost soul, but now I'm found."
© Sonja Blundell,11-12-98
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
DREAMS
Dreams filled of love and things so pure
Of things we once loved and things not sure
Dreams filled with pleasure once turned to pain
My voice echoes inside my head screaming your name
Dreams filled with memories of you and me
The pictures I scattered into the stormy sea
Dreams filled with love for things brand new
A new me and a brand new you
Dreams filled with regret because it's to late
Because those feelings of love now turned to hate
Copyright © August 1999
Sonja Blundell, AnglnTTwn@aol.com
I'D LOVE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN
I'd love you all over again
If you could just pretend
That I was someone else
Not just a rag doll you threw upon the shelf
I'd love you all over again
If only you'd pretend
To love me as I love you
Even though I'd know it's not true
I'd love you all over again
Until the bitter end
If only you'd come back to me
Even if it's make believe
I'd still love you all over again
© Sonja Blundell, 7-4-99
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
THE NIGHTMARE
My eyes are bloodshot
All I can see are little dots
I wish that I could get some sleep
But nightmares from my dreams they keep
Nightmares of being without you
If I go to sleep they might come true
I get up and take a pill
You don't know how good that feels
I try to go back to sleep
I even try counting sheep
I guess falling asleep wasn't meant to be
Goblins are coming to take you from me
I open up my eyes
But all I see are lies
Everything I dreamt came true
Now I have no one, not even you
What am I to do
My life is hell without you
The goblins went and set you free
And you don't return to me
Now my heart is broken
I have nothing, not even a token
A token of what we had
I guess that makes you very glad
Now I'm so very sad
I don't have you, no sleep I've had
No one cares
No one even wants to hear
About how I lost the one I loved so dear
The one that I can no longer hold near
The one who used to chase my fears
The one who whipped away my tears
Now you're not here to banish my fears
No longer wash away my tears
Why did goblins take your love from me
You left me alone and forever alone is what I'll be.
© Sonja Blundell, 4-14-97
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
I LOVE YOU DROPS
I love you drops keep falling from my eyes
Broken pieces of my heart finally die
The aching has finally gone away
I thought it was here to stay
I remember I promised I wouldn't cry
But these aren't tears falling from my eyes
They're heartbroken I love you drops
I keep thinking they're gonna stop
But I love you drops keep trickling down my face
Turning my pillow into salty lace
Remember these aren't tears I cry
They're I love you drops hurt by lies
Deceived by your love and broken in two
They're I love you drops caused by you
I kept my promise as you can see
You're the one that set these teardrops free
They're I love you drops because I do
They're I love you drops falling for you
© Sonja Blundell, 7-3-99
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
I KNEW I'D NEED MY HEART SOMEDAY
I Knew I'd Need My Heart Someday
To lead me straight not stray away
but my heart was broke a long time ago
so now I don't know which way to go
Should I go up or should I go down
Or should I just stay here with my feet on the ground
Which way to go I do not see
That's why I'm glad you're here with me
To guide me through life's ups and downs
To keep my feet planted on the ground
To lead me when I do not know
Which way it is that I should go
Copyright © Sonja Blundell
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
IF ONLY YOU HAD LOVED ME TOO
I lay on the doorstep of the Reaper
Keep on digging, deeper, deeper
Kiss my cold purple lips
Watch my soul escape my grip
Turn around don't watch me die
Because forever I will cry
My tears are tears of blood
I will drown here in their flood
My lifeless body no longer breathes
My warning you did not head
Together we no longer are
You are near, but I am far
Kiss me like you've never kissed me before
For I lay at the Reaper's door
Turn around don't watch me die
'Tis not murder 'tis suicide
Slowly dying day by day
Nothing can save me so don't even pray
Stay with me and hold me tight
For I won't see tomorrow's light
Hold my hand and kiss my cheek
For I can no longer speak
Look into my eyes
Watch me slowly die
Tell me everything's going to be all right
Stay with me within my sight
Tell me you love me tonight
For I won't see the morning's light
I am going now, it's not your fault
My life is coming to a halt
I loved you more than you'll ever know
But it's time now for me to go
One last kiss good-bye
Forever you will cry
I love you
If only you had loved me too......
© Sonja Blundell, 8-12-98
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
MY HEART WILL NEVER KNOW
My heart will never know
Just how much I loved you so
My heart will never see
Just how much you meant to me
My heart will never fell
Anything else that's real
My heart will never break
Because it's not in my fate
My heart will never know
Just how much it hurt to let you go
My heart will mend
Because you are now a friend
Copyright © Sonja Blundell
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
JEALOUSY
It makes you do crazy things
Say things you just don't mean
Do stuff you'd never do
Just because it's hurting you
You try so hard to keep your cool
Try so hard not to play the fool
To get the attention of the one you love
But you know others he's thinking of
He says he loves you yet there is doubt
That you're the one he can't live without
You want to trust him with all your heart
When he sees them it rips your soul apart
You try to hide it but it's still there
You go on and act as if you don't care
You let him see them, get further away from you
What else are you supposed to do
You love him truly with all your heart
And yet it rips your soul apart
He may not be doing something wrong
But you worry when he's gone too long
When no one else loves you
What are you to do
Take it and say nothing to him
Just so you can be with him
You love him oh so very much
Love the softness of his touch
Even though he's still with you
There's nothing else for you to do
You feel the pain jealousy has done
Pain so bad you want to run
Though he's loyal now
You have to wonder how
That word could cause so much pain
When you hear another's name
Everyone gets it, there is no cure
Even when you're very sure
He won't cheat or run away
That he's there with you to stay
But, it's always there -
That thought - what if....
Copyright © Sonja Blundell
AnglnTTwn@aol.com, August 1999
GROWN UP BABIES
Baby born in a tube
Heart as cold as an ice cube
Grows up so very fast
How long will it last?
Ten times faster than a normal baby
Is this the work of the Devil? Maybe.
It grows up in ten and a half years
Bringing the scientist to tears
A regular baby takes twenty-one years to grow up
All this stuff makes me want to throw up
This baby never had a childhood
But that is just not understood
It's like it grew up in two days
All it knows are adult ways
Never ran through sprinklers
Never ran around without sneakers
Never caught a butterfly
All this baby's life's a lie
It so very sad
All the stuff this baby never had
Never had a little puppy
Never got to name it Lucky
Never had a little fish
Never got to make that wish
Never got to see a rainbow
Or watch a little flower grow
Never had father or a mother
Never had a sister or a brother
Never knew what it was like to be loved
Never saw an eagle or a dove
Kiss this child on the cheek
For now it will be growing weak
It's time for this dear little child to die
It's whole life was nothing but a lie
Good-bye sweet child, sleep tight
Walk into the dying light
This is what you get for screwing with nature
What are you some evil creature?
Leave the stuff alone
No not that! Not a clone!
Let the babies be
You're killing them, can't you see?
Leave them alone my friend
For the end of them will be your end
Tampering with the Lord's Work
Will surely get you hurt
So leave the little babies be
And then maybe HE will let you go free!
© Sonja Blundell, 11-12-98
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
SOMEWHERE IN MY BROKEN HEART
Somewhere in my broken heart
You can find my soul all ripped apart
Cast out in the stormy sea
Scattered pictures in my memory of you and me
Somewhere in my broken heart you'll find
What once was me but now I'm dying
Memories of you keep floating by
Flying through the storm inside
Somewhere in my broken heart you'll find me
Among those pictures in the stormy sea
Drowning in the tears I've cried
Drowning in our last good-byes
Somewhere in my broken heart you'll see
What you really meant to me
One day someone will find
The girl in me that is dying
Somewhere in my broken heart
There are a thousand dreams being ripped apart
Among scattered pictures and broken dreams
And silly childhood things
Somewhere in my broken heart you'll find
The little girl you left behind
© Sonja Blundell, 6-28-99
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
WHAT ELSE IS A LITTLE GIRL SUPPOSED TO DO
Please don't go away
What can I do to make you stay
I'd do anything you want me to
As long as it was for you
Please don't push me aside
Leave me all alone when I'm dying inside
The little girl in me is trying to reach through
Because this little girl's in love with you
I've grown up too fast for my own good
But when you live like this you know you would
I try every day to be happy with you
But what's a little girl supposed to do
I can't keep pretending I'm not dying inside
How can it start healing if I let it hide
I know I shouldn't lay it all on you
But what else is a little girl to do
I threw away all my friends
Now they're all just pretend
I have no one else left in this world but you
So what else is a little girl to do
You're my best friend
I don't want this to end
I lay awake in bed at night
Dreaming of how to make things right
I've tried my best, done all I could
But I've grown up, they knew I would
I've grown up and away from everyone I knew
So what else is a little girl supposed to do
My heart is worn
My feelings torn
My tears overflow
Even though I beg them no
I've lost everyone that was dear to me
I'm losing you too can't you see
What else is a little girl to do
When she can't see how to get to you
Can you pull me through
And show me the way back to you
Can you hold my hand
And just try to understand
Can you pick up my heart
Fix the pieces ripped apart
Can you try to love me and not leave me to die
But I don't want you're love if it's a lie
I want you to be happy
Even if it's not with me
I want us together
I wish it could be forever
What else is a little girl supposed to do
When she's losing that love she's found in you
The love that made her feel like she really mattered
Thank you for not throwing her heart and watching it shatter
What else is a little girl supposed to do
When her best friend in the world is you
What can she do to make you see
How happy she would be
If you loved her still
Think of all the joy she would feel
What else is a little girl to do
When all she needs in this world is you
© Sonja Blundell, 6-28-99
AnglnTTwn@aol.com
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