LOVE'S AGONY SURREAL
Alone, filled with so much suffering,
an ache deep within my heart,
the very essence of my soul
with all my dreams defiled.
Was this what you planned for me?
A life filled with grief's excess,
longing, lost
in weariness beyond endurance?
Oh love, why?
You left me weeping
in such muffled agony,
your name sliding off my tongue,
dreams I had, now shattered,
like crystal shards that have no light.
I inhale the inky blackness of the night
and paint a picture of such agony,
with useless tears of long lost rapture.
Seeking to replace and capture
love beyond this piercing pain,
I sit knowing, I shall not regain
a pinpoint of the ecstasy
we shared, before you left
me dying. Silent screams escape
the unreality of this dark loneliness,
my soul longing for its mate.
If this is to be my fate,
passions begging unfulfilled,
I want only to be shown the door
to eternity forevermore,
where feelings, like your love that died,
lay in ashes on the floor
to resurface nevermore -
and I, like my soul will die.
I sign the book, with rivulets
of darkened blood, from the wounds
inflicted by the
weariness and sorrow of all
my passions purple pain,
a million songs still left unsung,
as silence stills the beating
of my broken heart. And, welcoming
eons of future emptiness,
softly whispering your name,
I die.
Copyright © Dina, 1999
KisSoSoft@aol.com
FOREVER ...
Your lips on mine,
so soft, so gentle,
incomprehensibly sweet.
You held me so tenderly
in your arms of steel.
Such ecstacy!
You never said you'd kiss me
or hold me in your arms,
but it's all I ever wanted
and I thought my dreams came true.
I try to make myself remember
the myriad dizzying sensations,
countless new feelings
I couldn't have imagined
and never felt before.
My heart began pounding
like ancient jungle drums,
my head was spinning
and finally, I knew love.
Passions never dreamt of,
impossible to describe,
you melted me, I was liquified.
It had never been before,
It will never come again,
there's only you -
there could only ever be you.
Since before time began
I'd only waited just for you.
I was never whole before
and you completed me, but
there's no reason anymore
for me to be.
I belong to you,
I always have, and always will,
forever, and beyond eternity.
I only always wanted you,
but you don't want me anymore.
Copyright © Dina, 1999
KisSoSoft@aol.com
BELOVED
Beloved...
What sense could be made of my life
if we were not meant to be, you and me?
Beloved...
Why draw breath or have walked this earth,
knowing you share the same sky
if I was not meant to be yours?
Beloved...
How, knowing we are children of the Father divine,
and that we share the same place in time,
if we weren't meant to be,
wouldn't it be the cruelest fate of all?
Beloved...
To wonder for all time about this love sublime,
if never to have this dream fulfilled,
would not my soul perish, unfulfilled?
Beloved...
Did you know, I dared not even pray,
or dream it in my dreams that there could
ever be someone such as you?
Beloved...
You are everything to me. You are my life, my love,
more important than the air I breathe,
the water I drink, the food I eat.
Beloved...
You are the epitome of goodness and greatness
and that it surely must be the will of God
that you have entered my life,
and I am humbled and so grateful that for however
long, or in whatever way He wills it,
you are in my life.
Beloved...
There would not have been a single moment of my life
that would have had a second's worth of meaning
had you not been in it.
Beloved...
If you will have me, I will dedicate my life to you,
my heart and soul to you, my body to give you pleasure,
my lips to kiss, caress and praise you,
my heart to love you, and my eyes
to gaze lovingly upon you.
Beloved...
For whatever in my life it was that blessed me and made
me worthy to have your love, I will always be grateful
and make you happy that it was so.
Beloved...
Surely, the sun must rise, the stars must shine, and the
angels sing because you walk this earth.
Beloved...
If you want me, it is my promise to you,
that I shall love you always, totally,
without condition and if you will allow it,
my love will be yours, forever,
for you are,
my Beloved...
Copyright © Dina, 1998
KisSoSoft@aol.com 1998
WRITTEN IN STONE
When I think of you, what comes to mind?
A man of goodness, so gentle and kind.
You bring the word of the Father to all that will hear
expressed with such beauty that I shed a tear.
You spread love to all, both far and near
no matter how tired, what day or what year.
There's so much within you, deep in your soul,
surely your heart is made of pure gold.
What have I done that you call me friend?
I thank the Father on knees that I bend.
From the day that I met you
it seems that I knew
that you were miles above all the rest;
yes, it's true, you're simply the best.
All through my life many people I've known
but that you'll be my friend, the one that I love,
that is one things, that's written in stone.
Copyright © KisSosoft@aol.com, 1998
ECHOES
In the dark, screaming corridors of my mind
echoes of all the things somehow left behind
talks and promises, words of love
when you told me from God's own heart had come our love.
Echoes
when you sang to me, softly, in the middle of the night
I sat in darkness my eyes closed tight
imagining you were sitting there with me
thinking, dreaming, someday that's how it would be
Echoes
of the first time, I remember when you said
you loved me. Now a million tears I've shed.
In the now abandoned place where my heart used to be,
emptiness
once illuminated by a million stars shining brilliantly
Echoes
of the first time I heard your voice, heard you say my name
never dreaming joy could turn into so much pain
I remember the first time you wrote a poem for me,
such gentle, tender, loving words, just for me
you told me on the phone
Echoes
of little secrets whispered, I held each one tight
loving you beyond inagining, knowing it was right
I still speak your name softly last thing each night
and wake, your name upon my lips at first light
Echoes
my love, my heart, my soul, what happened to you and me?
were the echoes, past ghosts that made you so afraid of me?
Did you think I'd hurt you too? Oh love, I'd die first can't you see?
How stupid they must be, the others, that they could not see
Echoes
even you don't know all that you are
is that why you pushed me away so far?
you held me in your arms, and kissed me that first time
did you fear I'd think you were the you that they defined?
was it the fear of the shadows in your mind?
Echoes
we were shy, between soft kisses exchanged so tenderly
each holding on so tight, no telling who was you and who was me
then passions flames ignited, uncontrolled, what we'd dared dream became reality
come back love, don't be afraid, you see ...
there are no more
Echoes
Copyright © KisSoSoft@aol.com, 1999
HE LOVED ME MORE
I feel such lonliness, a deep emptiness inside
Nowhere I can go, no place to run and hide.
Once I felt such happiness, my heart so full of joy,
but the only man I ever loved, my heart he did destroy.
How do I greet each day, to never see his face?
How could he leave me waiting in that awful place?
How can I live without the joy, not a single ray of hope?
If he never holds me in his arms again, how will I ever cope?
To never feel his kiss again, or hear him say my name...
How can I endure such unendurable pain?
I gave him everything in me, all he ever asked
He promised me forever love, he said that it would last.
Gladly he accepted the gift of all my heart.
He said he loved me more, and that we'd never part.
Now I sit in the deep dark lonliness of sorrow and dispair -
what happend to our love, so pure and very rare?
Did he ever really love me, or was I just a game?
Does he think the others and I are really just the same?
When I had fears and ran away or tried to run and hide,
he'd roar his mighty lion roar and bring me to his side.
He told me that his love was true and if I left he'd die;
I swallowed all my fears so my beloved wouldn't cry.
Now he's gone and left me and I truly wish I'd die -
with all his words he had no faith, he didn't even try
he couldn't really love me, was it all a lie?
Without a thought he broke my heart, didn't even say goodbye.
Copyright © KisSoSoft@AOL.com, 1999
A DREAM (reply)
It's not fantasy this dream you dream of me
for everything you seem to think, forever it will be
if what you want is love that's true
beloved, then it's come to you
if you will only open the tightly closed up door
you will find it's all you want and really so much more.
you can wake and walk around
your feet placed firmly on the ground
and the only thing that you will see
is all the love that's on this earth and it's for you from me
this is no dream and you can ask
it will be forever and never in the past
were you like me, that never dared to dream
did you not know or so it seemed
that love like this could be?
it seems so impossible that it could come to me
for what I thought was love before
was what I tried to do, but really nothing more.
but this, oh love, consumes me
with what I didn't know could ever really be
and the simple words "I love you"
I've only meant for you.
Copyright © KisSoSoft, 1999
THE ROLLER COASTER
A roller coaster has
so many ups and downs,
and love, it's true,
can have a few
but then they settle down.
Beware my friend
if they don't end.
For then, you see
it's not real love,
but just a ride you're on!
Copyright © KisSoSoft@aol.com © 1998
I WISHED
There were daisies and some daffodils
along the path up in the hills
and then a butterfly went by
and landed gently as a sigh
on a bush where roses grew.
Such colors! and a sky so blue,
except for a puffy cloud or two,
and I wished I could be with you.
Copyright © KisSoSoft@aol.com 1998
EXPERIENCE
Are there fears we're afraid to share?
Do we not want others going there.?
Sometimes sharing divides the pain,
sharing our joy we relive it again.
Experience is the best teacher it's true.
Applying the past to all that's new
can help us avoid making mistakes,
help us decide which path to take.
We can march forward smarter than before,
and find what happiness may lie in store.
Copyright © KisSoSoft@aol.com, 1999
I REMEMBERED ...
I heard two lovers talking
Remembered how it used to be
And then I starting crying
When I remembered you and me
The times I used to hope and pray
You'd come and talk to me
When you did, no words had I to say
Just the beating of my heart so full of ecstacy
You always knew just what to say
And soon it seemed I wasn't very shy
Promised love forever and a day
You left, I just wish that I would die.
©KisSoSoft@aol.com, July 28, 1999
ALL THAT YOU ARE
You are everything a man was meant to be
with a heart of gold that takes my breath from me.
Your soul is pure as our Father meant it to be
words of kindness in all that you say.
You're strong and handsome with muscles of steel,
the heart of a poet, so much do you feel.
You're kind, loving and gentle and even much more,
a man with such passion and so much to give.
You're a father so caring that fills every need.
You're smart and you know much more than the rest.
You've suffered more pain than you'll ever tell,
been hurt by so many and yet still you trust.
You've never feared doing really hard work,
there's never a thing you ever would shirk.
Your love for your family is loyal and strong,
you're just about perfect, I find nothing wrong.
You're a man of conviction, moral and true.
Humbly you speak of our Father above,
and tell all who will listen His message of love.
Still when I tell you all that I see
you don't seem to know all that you are.
There's something else you surely must know
and that is I love you with all of my heart
and I hate every minute we're so far apart.
I feel so unworthy to wish I could be
the one whose love would make you happy,
but I wish it regardless if it's wrong or it's right
and I'd want you to love me with all of your might.
For all that you are and all that I see,
I love you no matter, or the future will be -
far more, my love, than you'll ever know.
Our Father in Heaven surely must glow
that He's your creator must fill Him with pride
for more than any other, you're truly a man.
Copyright © KisSoSoft@aol.com, 1998
TEARS
There are so many kinds of tears
as many as the sounds we hear,
as many as the sights we see,
things touch us each so differently.
There are tears of laughter, tears of joy,
different each for him and her.
Men cry mostly tears of pain,
frustration for what they cannot regain,
a parent, a child or even a friend,
but women's reasons are without end.
We cry our tears for all the above,
we cry when we are overcome by love.
Women cry when deeply touched
by nature's beauty, babies and such.
We have places so deep in our hearts,
it's one of the things that sets us apart.
We cry at beauty undefined,
at little thoughts that cross our minds,
beauty of word, gesture or phrase,
and exquisite sunsets on some days.
Of course we cry at sad things too,
not only ours, but unlike you,
we cry tears of empathy.
But how I wish that you could see
the best tears are tears of joy,
unbidden, they come from deep within
the deepest recesses of the soul,
for reasons that are mostly hidden.
But let something touch me deep inside
you'll never know just why I cry,
and I'm not sure why tears burst forth,
angels too weep for things of worth.
And if, my love, you've made me cry,
you've brought me joy or made me die.
Copyright © KisSoSoft@aol.com, 1998
A BROKEN SOUL
She was a child and no one cared
No pain or torment was she spared.
They kicked her 'till up was down
No air to breathe, in tears she drowned.
A soul can die if there's no love
was she ignored by God above
No one saw the angel in her
So many questions without answer
This angel child with hair of gold
Can they not see, why are they so cold?
A million tears and more she shed
So many people in her head
No one to hold or give a hug
Squashed unmercifully like a bug.
My friend forever I won't forget
The world owes this child a debt
What heppend when this child was born
Did they not see her tiny form
How could it be no one could see
Her aching heart and empty soul
Little child who needed love
No one cared, did God above?
No one cares her name is Tears
no one tried to stop her fears
They broke her heart and let her be
A broken soul no one could see
They took her all, her heart is empty
Broken hearted tearful friend, you still have me.
Copyright© KisSoSoft@aol.com
August 5, 1999
HEY YOU!
Hey you!
What did you do?
Did you come to steal my heart?
Is that why I ache when we're apart?
I didn't think you could.
I didn't think you would.
But that's exactly what you did
and it's not so easily hidden.
Without warning you crept in,
tip toed so softly, I could hear a pin
drop as you worked your magic spell,
and then I heard it, clear as a bell,
my heart telling me...
and I knew
there'd never be another you.
So now, what do I do?
I can't tell you that I'm in love with you...
we're just friends!
Is this how the story ends?
Hey you...
What did you do?
Copyright © KisSoSoft@aol.com, 1998
IF JESUS CAME...
I would not change a single thing
I'd bow my head and let Him in
I'd leave my worldly music play
for He knows He's in my heart all day
I would not rush about at all,
I'd kneel at His feet as He probed my soul.
I'd not waste my time with Jesus near
doing the things that I must here.
If a friend came by, I'd not change a word
I've nothing to hide since each thing He heard.
If my Savior told me to continue the norm
I'd not be ashamed for where I would roam.
If He asked to see the one closest to me
in the mirror His face is the one He would see.
If He wanted forever to stay here with me
He would not have to move or need a new key.
The sound of my voice He knows very well
I talk to Him always, He's the first one I tell.
He's always helped me with each of my chores,
When my life is too painful He opens the doors.
If Jesus came in person forever to stay,
it just would make perfect each brand new day.
He knows He is welcome each day in my life
be it happy, or sad, or filled with much strife.
I still would continue His praises to sing
nothing would change except one little thing.
He'd see in my eyes that when I pray
He'd hear me ask "take me home to Heaven" each day
there is no reason for me to stay
I've had nothing here on this earth
that's mattered from the day of my birth,
Not love or wishes or dreams come true.
Why I'm still here I have no clue.
Copyright © KisSoSoft@aol.com, 1998
SILENCE
It ended
not a single word
no backward glance
just silence
what happened to the passion
words of love forgotten
promises unkept
hopes that died as I waited
in silence
but, I wonder
was it ever real
or was it meant to end
was it just a fantasy
were you ever here
or was it only me, alone
in silence
was it never meant to be
did you lie to me
you said always and forever
and now I sit alone
in silence
I can only cry
you didn't even tell me why
you couldn't care that much
to leave me here
in silence
and yet there's thunder
a roaring in my ears
the pounding of my heart
when I realize the joke
did you only want to see
how long it would take for me to hear
the silence
does it make you glad
do you feel power
that you could hurt me so badly
do you laugh out loud
or are you just amused
in silence
were you that afraid
of the promises you made
or was it just a game
to see just how much pain
you could cause me
with silence
now when you stop and pray
does God hear the words you say
does He disapprove and show it
by answering your prayers
with silence
someday you will know
it was really you who lost
for love like this
can never come again
and all you'll ever have
is silence
you won't ever see
these final words from me
or know what you have done
my muffled screams
the agony I bear
in silence
not the deeds of a man
to leave without a word
and no one else
will ever give you
all the things you need
and always got from me
and you will suffer all alone
in silence
love will come to me again
but you'll look back and wish
you'd never let me go
days and nights will come
and you'll always be
waiting for the praise
but you will wait
in silence
Copyright © KisSoSoft@aol.com 1998
All poetry on this page is copyrighted by Dina, KisSoSoft@aol.com and may not be copied, reproduced or used in any way without the express written permission of the author.
Thank you for visiting my website. Please visit often since new poetry such as those above, written by talented authors, is being always being added. I bribe the authors. LOL
To write to an author for whom no Email address provided, please send it to me at
KisSoSoft@aol.com,
and I will forward your mail directly to him or her. Thank you.
If you write poetry, have a friend who does or if you know a child who writes (I have a no rejection policy for children's poetry) please send it to me and if I like it, I'll publish it on these pages. No attached files please. Please include PYN in the Subject Line. Thank you.
I'd like to thank Bruce DeBoer
http://www.geocities.com/vienna/7189/using.html
for allowing me to use some of his beautiful, original MIDI music on this site.
|