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THE BILL OF NO RIGHTS


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The Bill of No Rights






We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any
more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves adn our
great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally
whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other liberal, commie ,pinko bedwtters. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a
whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I

You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV or any otherform of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II

You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone, not
just you. You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc, but the world is full of idiots, and probably
always will be.
ARTICLE III

You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect
the tool manufacturer to make you and all of your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV

You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help
anyone one in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes
who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V

You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested
in public health care.
ARTICLE VI

You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us get together and kill you.
ARTICLE VII

You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a
big screen color TV or life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII

You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate
oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting
the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a
funny hat.
ARTICLE IX

You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we
expect you to take advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X

You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness--which, by the
way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those around you who were
confused by the Bill of Rights.

Up your Inc

anarchist51@hotmail.com

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