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| Funny Blonde Jokes.... You and a blonde are watching the 6 o' clock news. The feature story is a man saying that he is gonna jump off the bridge. You tell the blonde that you bet her fifty bucks that he would jump, and the blonde bets you fifty bucks that he wouldn't. Then the man jumps and the blonde is giving you the money. And you say "No I can't take this," and the blonde says "yes you can, you won the bet fair and square." Then you say "No I didn't, I watched the 5 o' clock news, and I saw the man jump." And the blonde says " I watched it too, but I didn't think the man would jump again." Q:How do you get a blonde on top of the house? A:Tell her the drinks are on the house Q:How do you keep blonde busy? A:Tell her to put the M&M's in alphabetical order.  Q:WHY WAS THE BLONDE UPSET WHEN SHE TOOK HER DRIVERS TEST? A:SHE GOT AN F IN SEX. Q:WHY DID THE BLONDE FALL OUT OF THE TREE? A:SHE WAS RAKING LEAVES. Why don't blondes make kool-aid? They can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packages. Why don't blondes eat pickles...because they get their heads stuck in the jar. How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.  How do you sink a submarine full of blondes .... knock on the door Why did the blonde get fired from the M & M factory? Sshe was throwing out all of the W's. Why don't blondes make chocolate chip cookies .... it takes to long to get the shells off the M & M's A Blonde saw a sign that said WET CEMENT -- So she did. Why don't blondes eat bananas? Because they can't find the zipper.  How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator? By the lipstick on your cucumbers. Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes...stands for Toes Go In First. Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side. What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is. What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball. How do you amuse a blonde for hours? Write 'Please turn  over' on both sides of a piece of paper. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? Rebel Without A Clue. What is a blonde's mating call? I'm soooo drunk, I'm sooooo drunk! What is a redhead's mating call? Are the blondes gone yet? How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday...tell her a joke on Friday. How can you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde....the smart blondes have dark roots. How many blondes does it take to change a tire?.... 5; 2 to get sodas, 2 to cry, and 1 to call daddy. Q: How do blonde's brain cells die? A: alone Q: how do u brainwash a blonde? A: give her a douche and shake her upside down Q: why are blondes confused in the ladies room? A: they have to pull down their own pants Q: how is a blonde like peanut butter? A: They spread for bread A Blonde girl goes to work one day crying because she found out her mom had just died. Her boss asks her 'What's wrong?? Why are you crying??'. She replies 'I just found out that my mom passed away'. The Boss decides to let her have the day off but she insists on working so that she can keep her mind off her mom. A few hours later her boss decides to check on her and he goes in to her office and see's her crying histerically. He asks again 'Why are you crying??' she says 'My sister called saying that her mom died too'. Q. HOW DID THE BLONDE ALMOST DIE? A. SHE WAS RIDING A HORSE AND SHE STARTED TO HIT HER HEAD ON THE GROUND SO THE K-MART MANAGER SHUT OFF THE MERRY-GO-ROUND. Q: What does an airplane and a blonde have in common? A: They both have a cockpit Q:What do you call a blonde holding a balloon A:Siamese twins How is a blonde like a a bottle? They're both eymty from neck up Q)Why is the speed limit for blondes 68? A)Because at 69 they blow a rod! Q:How did the blonde die while drinking milk? A:The cow fell on her. Q: How does a blonde measure her IQ? A: With a tire gauge! Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV. Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any. Q: What does a blond say during a porno? A: There I am!! Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period. Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way. |
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