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| Max Beerbohm (1872-1956) was a brilliant essayist, critic (he replaced Bernard Shaw as theatre critic for Saturday Review), and caricaturist. He also wrote a novel (Zuleika Dobson) that still as a cult following, a number of short stories ("Enoch Soames" is probably the best remembered), and poetry. Here, however, he is remembered as one of the greatest parodists of all time. For prose parody, certainly, in the English language, he has no equal (though Wolcott Gibbs at his best comes damn close). His masterpiece in this genre, of course, is A Christmas Garland (1912). The book consists of seventeen pieces on the subject of Christmas written in the style of authors of the day--Bernard Shaw, George Meredith, H. G. Wells, Gilbert Chesterton, and the like. The book, however, has a considerable pre-history. The original Christmas Garland appeared in 1896 as a Christmas supplement to Saturday Review in Great Britain, and in America in the 15 December 1896 issue of The Chap Book. It consisted of seven parodies--six, if you don't count the self-parody that is all too often a feature of such collections. A decade later, in 1906, The Saturday Review printed a new series under the same title in the issues of 8, 15, 22, and 29 December, two parodies per issue. So in 1912, when Max Beerbohm decided to collect them in book form, he had (let us say) some fifteen pieces to choose from. In fact he kept only one item from the first collection (the George Meredith parody) for the book. The rest he considered "crude stuff" and apparently preferred to consign to oblivion. The Meredith parody he rewrote extensively, fussing with the punctuation and most notably changing the heroine's name from Aphasia Gibberish to Euphemia Clashthought. Despite this the other six appeared in an unauthorized and extremely limited edition in 1926, and four of those (all but the Alice Meynall and Ian MacLaren parodies) were reprinted again in Dwight MacDonald's 1960 Parodies: An Anthology from Chaucer to Beerbohm--and After. Of the eight parodies that appeared in 1906, all but one (the John Davidson parody) turned up in the 1912 book. (As far as I can determine, the Davidson parody has never been reprinted.) One of them, the H. G. Wells parody "General Cessation Day," was extensively revised and retitled "Perkins and Mankind". Max Beerbohm wrote nine new parodies for the book, which, with the eight previously written, made seventeen. The book was printed in this form in 1912. For the 1950 reprint Beerbohm added a 1939 parody of Maurice Baring, which is why the book is sometimes said to contain eighteen parodies, rather than the seventeen mentioned here. (Dwight MacDonald does this in his parody anthology cited above, for example.) What follows is a list of the Christmas Garland parodies in rough order of appearance, in turn followed by comments first on those in the 1912 book, and then on the others, whether rejected or added. (The name following in parentheses is that of the author parodied.) December 1896 -- Christmas supplement The Sorrows of Millicent (Marie Corelli) The Blessedness of Apple-Pie Beds (Richard Le Gallienne) The Defossilized Plum-Pudding (H. G. Wells) Beside the Bonnie Mark (Ian MacLaren) Holly (Alice Meynell) The Victory of Aphasia Gibberish (George Meredith) A Vain Child (Max Beerbohm) December 1906 -- Saturday Review The Mote in the Middle Distance (Henry James) I and Matter (John Davidson) P.C. X, 36 (Rudyard Kipling) Dickens (George Moore) Fond Hearts Askew (Maurice Hewlett) A Straight Talk (George Bernard Shaw) General Cessation Day (H. G. Wells) Christmas Day (G. K. Chesterton) 1912 -- the book Out of Harm's Way (A. C. Benson) A Sequelula to The Dynasts (Thomas Hardy) Shakespeare and Christmas (Frank Harris) Scruts (Arnold Bennett) Endeavor (John Galsworthy) Christmas (G. S. Street) The Feast (Joseph Conrad) A Recollection (Edmund Gosse) Of Christmas (Hilaire Belloc) 1939 All Roads--Chapter V (Baring) |
A Christmas Garland--the 1912 BookThe Mote in the Middle Distance (Henry James) A Christmas Garland begins with one of the 1906 parodies, and is Beerbohm at his best. Two children, Keith and Eva Tantalus, wake up Christmas morning and debate whether to take an advance look at their presents. Narrated in late Jamesian prose--the overburdened syntax always threatening to veer out of control until the last moment--the story takes four pages to cover what turns out to be a non-event. The effect is stunning. "The reminiscence, however--if such it was, save in the scarred, the poor dear old woebegone and so very beguilingly not refractive mirror of the moment--took a peculiar twist from Eva's behaviour. She had, with startling suddenness, sat bolt upright, and looked to him as if she were overhearing some tragedy at the other end of the wire, where, in the nature of things, she was unable to arrest it." Henry James himself got a big kick out of it. The piece is reprinted in the Lowrey parody anthology. P.C. X, 36 (Rudyard Kipling) Rudyard Kipling did not appreciate this 1906 parody, and no wonder. It is one of the few instances where Beerbohm clearly detests the original. The narrator, out on Christmas eve, obsequiously follows a police officer about, writing down pearls of wisdom such as: "We makes our mistakes. An' when we makes 'em we sticks to 'em. For the honour of the Force. Which same is the jool Britannia wears on 'er bosom as a charm against hanarchy." The officer comes to a stop: "He had broken off, and was peering fixedly upwards at an angle of 85° across the moonlit street." He's caught Santa Claus in the act of emerging from a chimney. Unimpressed by sentiments of peace on earth and good will toward men, the officer places him under arrest. "Frog's-march him!" shouts the narrator, "For the love of heaven frog's-march him!" This parody unerringly reproduces some of Kipling's less pleasant characteristics, on display in so many of his Indian tales and in Stalky and Co., for example, though those who know Kipling primarily through The Jungle Book or maybe Kim may not get it. This piece is reprinted in both the Lowrey and MacDonald parody anthologies. Out of Harm's Way (A. C. Benson) The first of the new parodies to appear in the book. I'm going to defer commenting on this one until I have actually read something by A. C. Benson. Perkins and Mankind (H. G. Wells) One of the 1906 parodies--sort of. "Perkins and Mankind" is in fact a new parody, written especially for the book version, and it takes aim at Wells as novelist. The 1906 parody, "General Cessation Day," which originally appeared in the 1906 collection, is inset into "Perkins and Mankind," thus giving Beerbohm a shot at Wells the sociological pamphleteer as well. Some Damnable Errors about Christmas (G. K. Chesterton) One of the 1906 parodies. A Sequelula to The Dynasts (Thomas Hardy) The second of the 1912 parodies. Shakespeare and Christmas (Frank Harris) The third of the new (1912) parodies. Scruts (Arnold Bennett) The fourth of the new parodies. Endeavour (John Galsworthy) The fifth of the new parodies. Christmas (G. S. Street) The sixth of the new parodies. The Feast (Joseph Conrad) The seventh of the new parodies. A Recollection (Edmund Gosse) The eighth of the new parodies. Of Christmas (Hilaire Belloc) The ninth and last of the new parodies. A Straight Talk (George Bernard Shaw) One of the 1906 parodies. Shaw of course is famous not only for his plays, but also for the prefaces he wrote for them on publication. "A Straight Talk" takes the form of such a preface. Sh*w describes how he stole the play of "Snt. George" from a traditional mummers group, and explains in excruciating detail what exactly the play was intended to symbolize. Shaw's style and even his train of thought are unerringly reproduced, from his mock self-deprecation to his casual assertion of outlandish hypotheses as obvious truths. Fond Hearts Askew (Maurice Hewlett) One of the 1906 parodies. Dickens (George Moore) One of the 1906 parodies. Euphemia Clashthought (George Meredith) The only one of the 1896 parodies included in the volume; it was originally titled "The Victory of Aphasia Gibberish". |
The Rejected ItemsThe Sorrows of Millicent (Marie Corelli) Beerbohm later described his 1896 parodies (except that of George Meredith) as "crude stuff," and it is probably fair to say that they are not on the whole as good as his later efforts. On the other hand, Beerbohm at his worst still sets a standard many other parodists would be glad to achieve. This Marie Corelli takeoff is a case in point. The heroine, Millicent Coral, is seen tramping through the snow on Christmas Eve, clutching a small bundle to her breast. She enters the house of Blackheart, the great critic, to demand that he recognize "that which I carry in my arms, dearer than life to me! I only ask for justice!" The bundle turns out to be a book, and "Millicent--for she it was!--stood there before the company in an attitude of sweetest, proudest humility." Blackheart, it turns out, has refused to review it, in spite of the demand of the British Public. Is there nothing that will change his mind? Well, yes, there is--his royal highness has acknowledged receiving a copy and looks forward to reading it. The Blessedness of Apple-Pie Beds (Richard Le Gallienne) The Defossilized Plum-Pudding (H. G. Wells) In a way, this is the first of three parodies Beerbohm Beside the Bonnie Mark (Ian MacLaren) Holly (Alice Meynell) The Victory of Aphasia Gibberish (George Meredith) A Vain Child (Max Beerbohm) I and Matter (John Davidson) |
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