SOURCES FOR "THE FIRST THANKSGIVING" The events of Plymouth in autumn 1621 relates to the first thanksgiving, there are 2 primary sources for them. However, research conducted by Center for World Thanksgiving at Thanks-Giving Square throws a good deal of light on the subject. Given below are the citations from the two original writings followed by an analysis of the roots of Thanksgiving. Enjoy the history of Thanksgiving and forward it to your friends. Edward Winslow, Mourt's Relation : "Our harvest being gotten in, our governor sent four men on fowling, that so we might after a special manner rejoice together after we had gathered the fruits of our labor. They four in one day killed as much fowl as, with a little help beside, served the company almost a week. At which time, amongst other recreations, we exercised our arms, many of the Indians coming amongst us, and among the rest their greatest king Massasoit, with some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted, and they went out and killed five deer, which we brought to the plantation and bestowed on our governor, and upon the captain and others. And although it be not always so plentiful as it was at this time with us, yet by the goodness of God, we are so far from want that we often wish you partakers of our plenty." William Bradford, Of Plymouth Plantation : "They began now to gather in the small harvest they had, and to fit up their house and dwelling against winter, being all well recovered in health and strength and had all things in good plenty. For as some were thus employed in affairs abroad, others were exercised in fishing, about cod and bass and other fish, of which they took good store, of which every family had their portion. All the summer there was no want; and now began to come in store of fowl, as winter approached, of which this place did abound when they came first (but afterward decreased by degrees). And besides waterfowl there was great store of wild turkeys, of which they took many, besides venison, etc. Besides, they had about a peck of meal a week to a person, or now since harvest, Indian corn to that proportion. Which made many afterwards write so largely of their plenty here to their friends in England, which were not feigned by true reports." The story of Thanksgiving is basically the story of the Pilgrims and their thankful community feast at Plymouth, Massachusetts. The Pilgrims, who set sail from Plymouth, England on a ship called the Mayflower on September 6, 1620, were fortune hunters, bound for the resourceful 'New World'. The Mayflower was a small ship crowded with men, women and children, besides the sailors on board. Aboard were passengers comprising the 'separatists', who called themselves the "Saints", and others, whom the separatists called the "Strangers". After land was sighted in November following 66 days of a lethal voyage, a meeting was held and an agreement of truce was worked out. It was called the Mayflower Compact. The agreement guaranteed equality among the members of the two groups. They merged together to be recognized as the "Pilgrims." They elected John Carver as their first governor. Although Pilgrims had first sighted the land off Cape Cod, Massachusetts, they did not settle until they arrived at a place called Plymouth. It was Captain John Smith who named the place after the English port-city in 1614 and had already settled there for over five years. And it was there that the Pilgrims finally decided to settle. Plymouth offered an excellent harbor and plenty of resources. The local Indians were also non-hostile. But their happiness was short-lived. Ill-equipped to face the winter on this estranged place they were ravaged thoroughly. Somehow they were saved by a group of local Native Americans who befriended them and helped them with food. Soon the natives taught the settlers the technique to cultivate corns and grow native vegetables, and store them for hard days. By the next winter they had raised enough crops to keep them alive. The winter came and passed by without much harm. The settlers knew they had beaten the odds and it was time to celebrate. They celebrated it with a grand community feast wherein the friendly native Americans were also invited. It was kind of a harvest feast, the Pilgrims used to have in England. The recipes entail "corn" (wheat, by the Pilgrims usage of the word), Indian corn, barley, pumpkins and peas, "fowl" (specially "waterfowl"), deer, fish. And yes, of course the yummy wild turkey. However, the third year was real bad when the corns got damaged. Pilgrim Governor William Bradford ordered a day of fasting and prayer, and rain happened to follow soon. To celebrate - November 29th of that year was proclaimed a day of thanksgiving. This date is believed to be the real beginning of the present Thanksgiving Day. Though the Thanksgiving Day is presently celebrated on the fourth Thursday of every November. This date was set by President Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1939 (approved by Congress in 1941). Earlier it was the last Thursday in November as was designated by the former President Abraham Lincoln. But sometimes the last Thursday would turn out to be the fifth Thursday of the month. This falls too close to the Christmas, leaving the businesses even less than a month's time to cope up with the two big festivals. Hence the change. ******************************************* The Turkey, its traditions, and how it got associated with Thanksgiving Turkey tradition "The turkey is a much more respectable Bird and withal a true original Native of North America". Remarked Benjamin Franklin, the scientist cum statesman, who was in favor of making Turkey the national Bird, instead of Bald Eagle. The wild turkey is native to northern Mexico and the eastern United States. Later it was domesticated in Mexico, and was brought into Europe early in the 16th century. Since that time, turkeys have been extensively raised because of the excellent quality of their meat and eggs. Some of the common breeds of turkey in the United States are the Bronze, Narragansett, White Holland, and Bourbon Red. Though there is no real evidence that turkey was served at the Pilgrim's first thanksgiving, but through ages it became an indispensable part of the Thanksgiving tradition. The tradition of turkey is rooted in the 'History Of Plymouth Plantation', written by William Bradford some 22 years after the actual celebration. In his letter sent to England Edward Winslow, another Pilgrim, describes how the governor sent "four men out fowling" and they returned with turkeys, ducks and geese. Unfortunately the Bradford document was lost after being taken away by the British during the War of Independence. Later it was rediscovered in 1854. And since then turkey turned out to be a popular symbol of the Thanksgiving Day. And today of all the the Thanksgiving symbols it has become the most well known. The turkey has brown features with buff-colored feathers on the tips of the wing and on the tail. The male turkey is called a 'tom'. It is bigger and brighter with more colorful plumage. Also it has a long wattle (a fleshy, wrinkled, brightly colored fold of skin hanging from the neck or throat) at the base of its bill and additional wattles on the neck, as well as a prominent tuft of bristles resembling a beard projecting downward from its chest. The female is called a 'hen' and is generally smaller and drab in color. ******************************************* Celebration of Thanksgiving Around The World Throughout history many cultures have given thanks for a bountiful harvest. They might differ in their forms and presentations. But their spirit - setting aside a date to reflect on life's blessings, remains the same. Catch a glimpse of the spectra of colors and shades that tinge the thankful celebrations from around the world! As evident from most of the cultures people would associate these with harvest festivals in gratitude of the God who protects them and their crops. Harvest festivals and thanksgiving celebrations held by the ancient Greeks, the Romans, the Hebrews, the Chinese, and the Egyptians all reflect the similar spirit. The Kaleidoscope here depicts the spectra of celebration as practiced by these different cultures. The First Americans Even in prehistoric times, the first Americans observed many rituals and ceremonies to express gratitude to a higher power for life itself. A Seneca Indian ritual, for example, states, "Our Creator...Shall continue to dwell above the sky, and this is where those on the earth will end their thanksgiving." Another quotation of the American Indians attributed to a later period. But that too was well before the day the Europeans came to know about America. It was: "The plant has its nourishment from the earth and its limbs go up this way, in praise of its Maker...like the limbs of a tree." South America In South America, many of the native Indian cultures contain expressions of gratitude and thanksgiving, and in modern Brazil a special public day of thanksgiving and prayer has been designated for the fourth Thursday of November every year since 1949. The Greeks The ancient Greeks worshipped Demeter as their goddess of all grains. Each autumn the festival of Thesmosphoria was held to honor the goddess. On the first day of the festival married women would build leafy shelters and furnish them with couches made with plants. On the second day they fasted. On the third day a feast was held and offerings to the goddess Demeter were made - gifts of seed corn, cakes, fruit, and pigs. It was hoped that Demeter's gratitude would grant them a good harvest. The Hebrews For over 3000 years Jewish families have been celebrating an autumnal harvest festival called Sukkoth. Sukkoth begins on the 15th day of the Hebrew month of Tishri, 5 days after Yom Kippur the most solemn day of the Jewish year. Sukkoth has derived its name from the huts (succots) that Moses and the Israelites lived in as they wandered the desert for 40 years before they reached the Promised Land. These huts were made of branches and were easy to assemble, take apart, and carry as the Israelites wandered through the desert. The festival coprises two main events - Hag ha Succot - the Feast of the Tabernacles and Hag ha Asif - the Feast of Ingathering. During this 8-day long festival the Jews build small huts of branches which recall the tabernacles of their ancestors. These huts are constructed as temporary shelters, as the branches are not driven into the ground and the roof is covered with foliage which is spaced to let the light in. Inside the huts are hung fruits and vegetables, including apples, grapes, corn, and pomegranates. On the first two nights of Sukkoth the families eat their meals in the huts under the evening sky. The Egyptians The celebration of the spring-time harvest festival by the ancient Egyptians was dedicated to the honor of Min, their god of vegetation and fertility. Spring being the harvest season of the Egyptian's the festival was held during this season. The festival featured a parade in which the Pharaoh took part. After the parade a great feast was held. Music, dancing, and sports were also part of the celebration. When the Egyptian farmers harvested their corn, they wept and pretended to be grief-stricken. This was to deceive the spirit which they believed lived in the corn. The Romans The Roman celebration of Cerelia, a harvest festival, was dedicated to the honor of Ceres. Ceres was their goddess of corn (from which the word cereal comes). It was also an autumnal festival held each year on October 4th. Offerings of the first fruits of the harvest and pigs were made to Ceres. The celebration included music, parades, games and sports and a thanksgiving feast. This was a glimpse of the overwhelming unity in the spirit of the thanksgiving celebration in all ancient cultures across the world. Prayer, parade, feast and the fervor are common to most of them, though the mode of celebration differs. Wish you a VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING! ****************************************** Thanksgiving Recipes Lovely cozy dinners, hot roasted turkeys, corn meals, and other occasional, but tasty dishes, that's what thanksgiving is all about. And to bring you the best of thanksgiving dishes, we have got the best of recipes for you to try, and make your dinner special. Along with a variety of turkey dishes, that have roasts, stuffings, and even something for leftovers, we also have other non-vegetarian dishes, and presto, some vegetarian dishes, to try out the fall festival in the vegetarian way. So gear up your plates, trays, bowls, and microwaves, and click on the link below of your choice! Vegetarian Thanksgiving MAPLE AND TARRAGON SWEET POTATOES Makes 8 to 10 servings Maple syrup and tarragon, a sweet herb, are wonderful enhancements for the flavor of sweet potatoes. Ingredients: 4 pounds sweet potatoes, peeled and sliced 1/4-inch thick 1/3 cup maple syrup 1/4 cup soy margarine, melted 1/4 cup orange juice 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons dried tarragon Preheat the own to 350 degrees. Arrange the sweet potato slices in overlapping rows in an oiled shallow 2-quart casserole. In a small bowl, combine the syrup, margarine, juice, cinnamon, and salt. Pour evenly over the potatoes. Sprinkle the tarragon over the top. Cover with lid or foil and bake, covered, for 25 to 30 minutes, or until readily pierced with a fork but still firm. Bake another 20 to 25 minutes uncovered, or until glazed and golden around the edges. JICAMA COLESLAW WITH CITRUS DRESSING Makes 8 to 10 servings Jicama, a vegetable quite popular in the Southwest, is becoming increasingly available everywhere else. Though an unusual vegetable, its sweet flavor and crunchy texture have broad appeal. If you can't find jicama, substitute crisp white turnip. Ingredients: 3 cups red cabbage, thinly shredded 3 cups white cabbage, thinly shredded 1 cup peeled, matchstick-cut jicama 2 bunches scallions, sliced Dressing 1/2 cup Tofu Mayonnaise 2 teaspoons prepared mustard 1 teaspoon honey (or sweetener) juice of 1/2 orange juice of 1/2 lime freshly ground pepper to taste Combine the cabbages, jicama matchsticks, and scallions in a bowl and toss together. Combine the dressing ingredients in a small bowl and stir until well blended. Pour over the cabbage mixture and toss well. Cover and refrigerate until needed. Cornmeal topping Ingredients: 5 cups water 1 1/4 cups cornmeal ½ teaspoon salt 1 cup grated Cheddar-style soy "cheese" Heat the oil in a large skillet. Add the onion and saute until it is translucent. Add the garlic and bell pepper and continue to saute until the onion is golden brown. Add the corn kernels, pinto beans, tomatoes, and seasonings. Stir well and simmer for 10 to 15 minutes. Season to taste with salt. Remove from the heat. Bring the water to rolling boil in a heavy saucepan or double boiler. Slowly pour the cornmeal into the water in a thin, steady stream, stirring continuously to avoid lumping. Add the salt and cook over very low heat, covered, for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Oil a shallow, 1 1/2-quart baking dish and line the bottom with half of the cooked cornmeal. Pour over it the skillet mixture and sprinkle with the optional grated cheese. Top with the remaining cornmeal, patting it in smoothly. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until the cornmeal is golden brown and crusty. Let stand for 10 minutes, then cut into squares to serve. WALNUT-APPLE STUFFING Makes 6 to 8 servings Ingredients: 6 cups firmly packed diced whole grain bread 2 ½ tablespoons margarine 1 ½ cups chopped red onion 1 ½ cups peeled, diced tart apple 3 bunches scallions, minced 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley ½ teaspoon each: dried thyme, savory 3/4 teaspoon seasoned salt, more or less to taste 3 tablespoons currants freshly ground pepper to taste 1 ½ cups Light apple juice Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Place the diced bread on a baking sheet. Bake 10 to 12 minutes, or until dry and lightly browned. Heat the margarine in a large skillet. Add the red onion and saute over moderate heat until golden. Add the apple and saute for another 5 minutes. In a mixing bowl, combine the bread cubes with the onion and apple mixture. Add all the remaining ingredients except the apple juice and toss together. Sprinkle in the apple juice slowly, stirring at the same time to moisten the ingredients evenly. Transfer the mixture to an oiled shallow l ½-quart baking pan. Bake 25 to 30 minutes, or until browned and still slightly moist. Stir once during the baking time. Streusel topping Ingredients: 1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour 1/4 cup wheat germ 1/4 cup finely chopped almonds or pecans 1/4 cup light brown sugar 1/4 teaspoon each: cinnamon and nutmeg 2 tablespoons soy margarine, melted Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Place the pumpkin, egg substitute, sugar, applesauce, and spices in the container of a food processor or blender. Process until very smoothly pureed. Pour into the pie crust. In a small bowl, stir the streusel ingredients together and quickly stir in the margarine until all the dry ingredients are lightly coated. Sprinkle eve"ly over the pumpkin filling. Bake for 45 minutes, or until the crust is golden and the filling is set Let cool. Serve at room temperature. Traditional Mashed Potatoes (Serves 12) Ingredients: 4-5 lbs. fresh Potatoes, peeled and cut into evenly sized chunks 1 1/2 cup Milk, heated through to the near scald 4 Tbs. (1/2 stick) Butter 1 tsp. Salt 1/2 tsp. Black Pepper Optional Additions: 1 cup sharp Cheddar Cheese, grated 2 Tbs. fresh Parsley or Dill, chopped Place potatoes in large pot and add enough lightly salted water to cover potatoes. Start at a high heat setting, then reduce the heat to medium-high and loosely cover the pot. Cook 20 minutes or until very tender. Drain potatoes in colander. Return cooked potatoes to the same pot and stir over medium heat for about 1 minute, until excess water has evaporated. With a potato masher or hand-held electric mixer, mash in the hot milk, butter, salt, and pepper. Beat with a wooden spoon or mixer until potatoes are smooth and creamy. Stir in any optional additions, if desired. Remove potatoes to a serving bowl and place a pat of sweet creamery butter in the center to melt down from the top of the heaping bowl. Serve warm SWEET CRANBERRY RELISH Makes 8 to 10 servings A sweet-tart relish, this adds a refreshingly tangy note and a jewel-like color to the meal. Ingredients: 12 ounces fresh cranberries 1-pound can pineapple chunks with liquid 2 medium apples, peeled, cored, and diced 1/3 cup pecan halves 2 tablespoons agar flakes (see note, below) 1/3 cup light brown sugar, more or less to taste ½ teaspoon cinnamon Place the cranberries in the container of a food processor. Pulse on and off until coarsely chopped. Transfer to a mixing bowl. Drain the liquid from the pineapple chunks into a small saucepan. Transfer the pineapple chunks to the food processor along with the apples and nuts. Pulse on and off until coarsely chopped. Add to the cranberries in the mixing bowl. Combine the agar Rakes with the juice in the saucepan. Bring to a simmer, stirring frequently, and cook until the Rakes are dissolved, about 5 minutes. Pour into the mixing bowl and mix thoroughly with the fruit. Add enough sugar to create a sweet-tart balance to your taste. Stir in the cinnamon. Pour the mixture into an attractive serving bowl and chill for several hours. NOTE: Agar flakes are readily available in most natural food stores as well as Oriental markets. These tiny, flavorless, colorless flakes, derived from a seaweed, are the best vegetable-derived jelling product available Cranberry Relish in Orange Cups (Serves 12) Ingredients: 6 Oranges 1 cup Light Brown Sugar, firmly packed 1 cup Orange Juice 1/2 cup Water 2 Tbs. crystallized Ginger, finely chopped 1/2 tsp. ground Ginger Dash of ground Cloves 4 cups Cranberries Cut the oranges in half and remove pulp. Cover and store orange shells in the refrigerator; they will keep well for a couple of days. To loosen the pulp from the shell, cut around the inside of each orange half with the knife. Using a small spoon, carefully remove the pulp and discard (or reserve as recommended), leaving the orange shell intact. In a large saucepan, stir together the brown sugar, orange juice, water, crystallized ginger, ground ginger, and cloves. Bring the mixture to a boil over high heat, stirring until the sugar is dissolved. Reduce the heat to medium-high and cook, uncovered, for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the cranberries and return the mixture to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat again to medium-high, and boil for 3 to 5 minutes or until skins pop, stirring occasionally. Transfer the relish to a covered container and refrigerate for at least 1 hour before serving. You may store in the refrigerator for up to 1 week. Spoon the cranberry relish into the orange shells to serve. Non-Vegetarian Thanksgiving Recipes that do not have turkey. Check out the following recipes if you are saturated with turkey. The following fall holiday recipes can be cooked with ham, chicken or goose. Celebrate your Thanksgiving dinner and feasts with the best of all worlds non turkey recipes! CHICKEN ARTICHOKE PASTA (Serves 4) Ingredients: 3 cups uncooked Bow Tie Pasta (9 oz.) 6 oz. jar marinated Artichoke Hearts, chopped 1 lb. Chicken Breasts, cubed 3 cups fresh Mushrooms, sliced 7 oz. jar roasted Red Peppers, diced 1 cup Chicken Broth 1/2 cup dry White Wine 1 Tbs. Cornstarch 1/2 tsp. Salt 1/2 tsp. Black Pepper 1 Tbs. fresh Parsley chopped OR 1 tsp. dried Parsley Grated Parmesan Cheese (optional) Cook the pasta al dente, drain, and set aside under a tent of foil to maintain warmth. Warm the liquid from the jar of marinated artichoke hearts in a large skillet over moderate heat. Add the chicken and cook for about 6 minutes. Stir in the sliced mushrooms, and continue to cook for about 6 more minutes. Stir in the chopped artichoke hearts and diced red peppers. In a container with a tight-fitting lid, blend together the chicken broth, wine, cornstarch, salt and pepper. Shake together to mix well. Gradually add mixture to chicken. Turn heat up to medium high and heat to boiling, stirring constantly for about 2 minutes. Toss the chicken mixture with the pasta and parsley. Top with grated parmesan cheese if desired. Serve warm. ONION-SAGE STUFFED GOOSE (Serves 10 to 12) Ingredients: 3 lb. Onions 1/2 cup butter or margarine 1/2 cup Celery, chopped with leaves 6 cups soft Bread Crumbs 1 Tbs. Salt 1/2 Tbs. ground Black Pepper 1 Tbs. dried Sage 1 tsp. dried Savory 1/2 tsp. dried Marjoram 1/4 tsp. ground Nutmeg 10 to 12-lb. Goose 1 Tbs. fresh Lemon Juice Salt and Pepper 2 chicken Bouillon Cubes Boiling Water Peel and cut the onions into quarters. Place them in a large saucepan, add just enough boiling water to cover, and simmer, covered, for about 15 minutes or until just tender. Drain, cool, and coarsely chop the onions. Warm the butter or margarine in a large heavy skillet. Add the chopped celery and gently sauté for about 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Add half the bread crumbs and cook gently until lightly browned, stirring frequently to combine. Place the remaining bread crumbs in a large mixing bowl. Add the salt, pepper, sage, savory, marjoram, and nutmeg. Toss to combine the ingredients. Add the prepared onions and the sautéed celery and bread crumb mixture to the bowl and toss again to combine. Let cool before stuffing the goose. Pre-heat the oven to 400-F degrees. rub the goose inside and out with lemon juice. Generously sprinkle the inside of the goose with salt and pepper. Stuff the neck cavity with some of the prepared stuffing and fasten the neck skin to the body of the goose with a skewer. Stuff the body of the goose with the remaining stuffing, skewering and lacing the end closed. Tie the legs and the wings to the body with butcher's twine. Prick the skin of the goose all over, to let the fat escape while roasting. Place the bird, breast side, down on the rack of a large roasting pan. Add the bouillon cubes to the two cups boiling water and stir until dissolved, pour the mixture over the goose. Roast for one hour, uncovered. Pour off half the drippings and discard. Turn the goose over and pour two cups of boiling water over the bird. Continue roasting for another hour. Pour off the drippings from the pan, again. Prick the skin of the goose all over and continue roasting for about 90 minutes more, or until tender. To serve, place the goose on a large platter; remove the twine and skewers to carve BAKED HAM with FRUIT MARINADE (Serves 10 to 12) Ingredients: 2 cups fresh Pineapple, chopped 1 1/2 cups Baking Apple, chopped 2 Oranges, peeled, sectioned, and chopped 1/4 cup fresh Basil, minced 2 Tbs. Onion, finely chopped 2 Tbs. fresh Lime Juice 1/4 tsp. ground Cumin 1/8 tsp. Cayenne Pepper 4-lb. cooked boneless Ham Prepare the fruit mixture, combining the pineapple, apple, oranges, basil, onion, lime juice, cumin, and cayenne pepper in a large bowl. Cover and refrigerate for up to 2 days, and be sure to allow ham to marinate for at least 4 hours prior to baking and serving. Place ham on a rack in a shallow baking pan. Score the top in a diamond pattern. Insert a meat thermometer. Bake, uncovered, in a 325-F degree oven for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, or until thermometer registers 140-F degrees. To serve, slice ham and pour a hearty line of the fruit mixture over the row of slices. You may serve any leftover fruit mixture as a compote, on the side. OYSTERS ADD-ONS Ingredients: 1 Loaf Un-sliced Sourdough Bread 10-oz. Package Fresh Spinach; Chopped 2 Tbs. Butter 1/2 cup Shallots; Minced 3 Stalks Celery; Finely Chopped 4 Cloves Garlic' Minced 2-8 oz. Jars Fresh Oysters' Coarsely Chopped 2 Tbs Fresh Tarragon; Chopped 3 Eggs; Slightly Beaten 1 1/2 cup Chicken Broth Cut bread into 1-inch cubes and divide between 2 large baking sheets. Bake at 250-F degrees for 15-minutes until dry. Transfer bread crumbs to large mixing bowl and set aside. Melt 1 Tbs. butter in large skillet over medium heat. Add shallots, celery and garlic and to butter and saute approximately 5-minutes. Gently stir sautéed ingredients into bread mixture. you can prepare 1 day in advance of baking to enhance flavor. Cover and refrigerate. Add chicken broth to stuffing mixture and transfer to a well-buttered 9 x 13 baking pan. Lightly butter enough aluminum foil to cover your dish and bake for stuffing for 30-minutes in a pre-heated 350-F degree oven. Remove cover from stuffing and continue to bake an additional 20-minutes until the top is crisp. Serve hot from the oven. ************************************* Jokes for Thanksgiving Welcome to the Thanksgiving Jokes page. We have collected some of the best Thanksgiving jokes, and presented to you. Enjoy the page, and do not forget to refer the page to your friends. You can also send a Thanksgiving Jokes card. Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey." The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?" What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey. Gobbler said, "Doctor, help me! I can't stop acting like a turkey!" "I see," said the doctor. "How long have you had this problem?" "Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954..." What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy! If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims! Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE Why can't you take a turkey to church? Because they use such FOWL language What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called? Turkey feathers What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes - a building can't jump at all What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving How can you make a turkey float? You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed! Where did the first corn come from? The stalk brought it Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers? To keep his wigwam What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape How did the Mayflower show that it liked America? It hugged the shore Thanks, for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business. Thanks, for a nation of finks.