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Part 20

"Oh my gosh, Klaire, we were worried sick about you. Where were you?" I asked running to the door the give Klaire a hug.
Klaire didn't say anything to me. She walked right passed Justin, and me without saying anything. I was really wondering what was bothering her. I could tell that something was wrong. Justin ran after Klaire.
Klaire, wait up," Justin said.
She stopped, "what?" she asked with bitterness in her voice.
"What's wrong, hun?"
"Nothing. Just leave me alone right now. I don't want to talk." She walked into the room that Amanda and Joey had put Kerri in. She sat down on the bed next Kerri. I went after her, and followed her into the room. She was sitting down with her hands on her face, and she was crying.
"Oh my gosh, Klaire, what's wrong?" I said running up to her and putting my arms around her.
She pushed my arms off of her, "just leave me alone, Rachael. I want to be alone," she said still crying.
"I will not leave you, until you tell me what's wrong. I know it's something, otherwise you wouldn't be crying."
"I don't want to talk about it. I need to take a shower."
She got up and walked towards the bathroom down the hall. She walked into the bathroom. I didn't know what to do. I could only wait for her to come out. I decided to go and find JC. I walked outside where everyone, including JC, was.
I walked up to JC, "JC, I think something's wrong with Klaire. She won't talk to me, and I don't know what to do."
"If she won't talk to you, there's really nothing that you can do."
I guess you're right."
Where is she right now?" he asked.
"In the shower."
"Just wait till she gets out then. That's all you can do."
JC and me just sat outside in some lawn chairs while I waited for Klaire to come out of the shower. I was really worried about her. She had been really quite for a few days now. She's hardly even talked to Justin. I missed my best friend, and I missed talking to her like old times.It was another hour and a half before Klaire finally came out of the shower. It really puzzled me why she would want to take a shower for so long. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what.
"Klaire, wait up. We need to talk," I said running up to Klaire. "Rachael, can't you leave me alone?"
"What is wrong with you? Ever since we got in that fight a couple days ago, you have treated me horrible. What is up with you?"
"You wouldn't understand, Rachael. It's more than just that stupid little fight, alright?"
"No, it's not alright. I want to know what's wrong. You have ignored me long enough. We're best friends," I said. "You want to know what's wrong, Rachael, so you can fix it and make It better? You really want to know what's wrong?"
"Yes."
"I was raped tonight. I went to a park a few blocks down the street. There were two guys there. They grabbed my arms and took me to their truck where they pinned me down and raped me. All right? Are you satisfied? The reason I've been so quite lately...well I'm jealous, of you. You and JC are so happy together. You're going to be married soon. I want that. I want that kind of love. I want Justin to love me like that and want him to be with me for the rest of my life. I want him to ask me to marry him. Are you satisfied now? You know everything," Klaire said crying. "Klaire, I'm sorry. You need to report the rape. It was wrong of them; it's not your fault. Please don't be mad at me. The last thing I wanted was for you to be jealous of me. I didn't ask JC to marry me. He asked me, on his own. Just, please, don't be mad at me."
Klaire started to cry; "Please don't tell anyone."
"Hun, you need to tell someone. You can't keep it a secret, this is a big deal."
"Just, please, don't tell anyone," she said loudly.
I didn't say anything else. I walked over to her and gave her a hug. I knew it was going to be so hard not to tell JC or Justin about this. I didn't understand why she didn't want anyone to know.

Part 21

"Amanda, I can't believe you have to leave," I said.
"Neither can I," Joey said, "I'm going to miss you. I had so much fun yesterday."
"I don't want to leave. Trust me, if it were up to me, I wouldn't leave. I've got to get home with Kerri, otherwise my mom will flip."
"You've got my cell number, right?" Joey asked. "Yeah, and you've got my home number?"
"Yeah. Call me as soon as you get home."
"I will," she paused, "I'm going to miss you."
"I'm going to miss you too," he said hugging her.
It was so sad that Amanda was going to be leaving us. I didn't want her to go, and I knew that Joey didn't either. We all said our good-byes to Amanda and Kerri. We had to get going from Lance's house as well, because we had to be in Raleigh, North Carolina so
the guys could do sound check.
"Lance, take some fan mail with you guys to read on your way to Raleigh,"
Lance's mom said running out with a huge basket of fan mail.
"Alright. The girls can help us go through this."
Lance brought a huge basket that was plump full of letters into the bus,
and set them on the table in the kitchen where I was sitting. "Help
yourself," he told me.
"You want me to read your guys' fan mail?" I asked.
"Go for it. There's plenty to go around," Lance said as he stared to walk
back to his bunk.
"Alright," I said as I reached into the basket and pulled out a letter that
was addressed to JC.
JC walked up to me, "what are you doing, hun?" he asked. "Reading fan mail," I said as I opened the letter, "Dear JC, I love you so much. You and the rest of the guys are such an inspiration to me. I wish I could meet you and be your girlfriend. I love you so much. I don't expect you to reply, but I just want to thank you for being in 'N Sync. I don't know who I would like if you guys weren't around. Lots of love, Katy Turner. Awe, how cute. JC, she loves you!" I said. "Doesn't everyone love JC, Rachael?" Chris said jokingly. "They must," I said smiling.
"Rachael, Rachael, Rachael…now you must be tickled," JC said. "No, you better not," I said scooting back farther into the seat. "I have to, though." JC smiled and grabbed me by my arm forcing me out from the booth. He started to tickle me on my sides. I hate being tickled, because every time, I almost pee my pants.
"Ah. Justin, Chris, help me!" I screamed as I was squirming.
"You're on your own, Rach," Justin said.
"Quit it, JC," I said laughing, "Chris, help."
Chris sat there laughing at me. Joey walked up to the front of the bus and saw me and JC on the floor, with JC tickling me. "Um, okay?" Joey said holding a coffee cup in his hand. "Joey, you'll help me, won't you?" I asked still squirming. "No. I'll help JC on this one," he said smiling and then starting to tickle me as well. I was still laughing, "Thanks."
"Ooh, ooh, can I join in?" Chris asked.
"NO." I said.
"Yeah," JC and Joey said.
"Please, stop."
"Guy, you think we should stop?" JC asked.
"Awe, but I just started having fun. We can't stop."
"We better. She might get mad at us," Joey said as he stopped.
"Alright," JC said as Chris and him finally stopped tickling me.
It was so cool being with the guys. We were all becoming best friends. I started off being with someone I cared about, my best friend, and four guys who I barely knew, and now I'm with six best friends. I couldn't ask for anything better.
Klaire walked out into the kitchen. JC and me were sitting in the couch across from the table, and Joey, Chris, and Justin were all sitting at the table. Lance was sleeping in his bunk, as usual.
"Hey, sweetie," I said to Klaire as she sat down at the table."Hi," she said. "Come with me in back. I've got a song I want to play for you."
"Alright," she said getting up.
I got up and we both walked to the very back of the bus. I didn't want to forget about what happened to Klaire. It was a horrible thing to happen to anyone, and I wanted her to know that things were going to be alright.
"So what song you going to play for me?"
"'Damaged' by Plumb. It's a really great song. Listen to the lyrics."
I put in the CD and turned it to track number nine.
'Dreaming comes so easily
Cause it's all that I've known
True love is a fairy tale
I'm damaged, so how would I know

I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know

I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

There's mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but I can't go back

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Can't go back
I can't go back
I can't go back
I must go on
I must go on'
After the song was over, Klaire just sat there crying. I walked over to her and hugged her. She cried on my shoulder as I held her in my arms. I knew she wanted to get rid of her hurting that she was carrying inside. It was a hard thing to have to live with, but I knew that she could overcome
this.

Part 22

Today started off to be a great day. The guys didn't have a show tonight. I was relieved. I loved to watch them perform over and over, but I needed a break again from all the screaming fans. Even though today was a break for them, they had a short practice for the show tomorrow night.
Klaire and I didn't want to watch their rehearsal for the day, so her and I went shopping at the local mall in Charlotte. JC and the other guys were glad that we didn't stay. They had something up their sleeve. Nikole, Amaya, and Amanda were all more than likely coming to the show tonight, so the guys were all trying to plan something special for us.
Joey was really anxious for rehearsal to get over with, because he was going to catch a flight to Camden, New Jersey, where Amanda lived. He had the whole thing planned to surprise her. He bought her a dozen roses, which he was going to give her, to convince her to come to a few venues with him. I didn't think that she would need any convincing to go with him, just like I didn't need any convincing.
Klaire and I finished shopping at about three o'clock. We went back to the hotel where the guys were at. When we arrived at the hotel, there were about ten fans screaming for the guys to come out.
"Hey, girls, can you just leave the guys alone?" Klaire said.
"What's it to you?" one girl asked.
"Just leave them alone."
The screams continued. All of the girls just ignored Klaire's request. Klaire and I walked over to the elevators and took them to the third floor where we were staying at. We were in rooms 313 through 315. Klaire, Justin, Chris, and Amaya were in one room; Joey, hopefully Amanda, Lance and Nikole were in another; and JC and me were in the other room. I was thankful that we finally got a room all to ourselves. I put the key into the door of JC, and my room. I walked into the room and put my bags on the floor. JC was asleep on top of the covers with a teddy bear in his arms. It was so cute, so I decided not to wake him up. I just let him sleep.
I was in the mood to go swimming, so I picked up the phone and dialed Klaire's room.
"Hey, Klaire," I said in a soft voice, "wanna go swimming?"
"Sure," she said."Alright, I'll meet you outside of our rooms in five minutes."
"Okay," she said as she hung up her phone.
I hung up the phone. I went over to my suitcase to get my swimming suit out of my bag. I grabbed it and went into the bathroom and changed. My swimsuit was a red, black, and gray, two-piece bum equipment swimsuit. I didn't really like to wear bikinis, because I hate how I look in them. I tried not to think about it. I kissed JC softly on the cheek. He must not have been in too deep of sleep, because he woke up when I kissed him. "Wow," he said waking up. "Shut up. I hate my swimsuit."
"Why? You look good."
"Thanks, but no I don't."
"You going swimming?" he asked. "Yeah. Klaire, and me are."
"Alright. Well I'm going to go back to sleep."
"Night, hun," I said kissing him again on the cheek and then walking out the door into the hallway. "Woohoo," Chris said as he walked pass me. "Shut up," I said as I hit him on his arm. He laughed, "going to pick up some men?" I laughed with him, "no. I'm going to make them run!" We both laughed. Klaire came out of her room.
"What are you two laughing at?" she asked smiling.
"Oh, nothing," Chris said. "Sure," Klaire said, "let's go."
"Okay."

Part 23

Yesterday was such a good day, since we had the day off. It gave us all time to rest, and get ready for the show tonight. The guys still had to go to rehearsal, even though they had already practiced yesterday. I didn't quite understand that, but it didn't bother me too much.
JC, Klaire, Justin, Chris, and me were all walking out to the bus to go to the venue. Amanda came walking up to us with Joey by her side. We were all really surprised to see her, but glad she was here.
"Amanda," Chris shouted.
"Hey, girl," I said.
"Hi," she said smiling.
"I'm glad you could join us again," I said.
"Well, my parents weren't too happy, but I don't care. Kerri wanted to come with Joey, and me so badly too!"
I laughed, "You're little sister is so cute. I hope you don't get in trouble from your parents."
"I won't. What can they do to me? I'm nineteen years old, they can't tell me what to do with my life anymore."
"I guess you're right."
We all go onto the bus. Lance was the last one to finally get on the bus with the rest of us. Nikole and Amaya were going to follow us in Nikole's rented car, like they always did.
All five of us girls got to sit in the VIP boxes behind section number two. They were great seats, just like we had every time. This was only the second time that all five of us girls were going to be at a show sitting next to each other.
When we arrived at the venue, there were people sitting outside the pavilion having picnics, barbecues, and just listening to music. It was all really cool that they were having their own little party before the show even was going to start.
All five of us girls were going to help the wardrobe people get all their outfits lined up while the guys did sound check and a slight rehearsal.
"Don't you wish we could dress the guys ourselves?" Amaya asked.
"That could be quite funny," I said.
"I would love to dress them. I guess their outfits are all right, though.
I'd have to make them a little less appealing to the little girls, though," Klaire said.
We all laughed because we knew how good the guys looked when they were up on stage. I love watching JC and the other guys when they were on stage, because they get so into their music, and they make the show so wonderful.

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Page Updated Fri Mar 24, 2000 9:11pm EST