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| Chapter 19 They decided to go home and call it a night. Kathryn made plans for the funeral and let everyone know about the sudden death of her daughter. The news spread quickly. Family members, old friends, neighbors, even old teachers of Rae called to give their condolences. The funeral was set for that Saturday in Memphis. She was to be buried next to her Grandmother. Justin spoke very little to anyone those next few days. He sat at home and stayed in bed thinking, crying, and reminiscing about Rae. The day of the funeral Justin rode with Kathryn and his mom to the church. He spoke very little to his friends but everyone understood he was grieving. Kathryn was surprisingly okay. She even gave a few smiles. Lynn supported Kathryn and helped her make the funeral arrangements and such. Christina was very dispirited for those few days after as well. She had to deal with living alone and losing her best friend. At the church a few people got in front of everyone and shared a few words of Rae. Chris was the first to talk. "I remember when I first met Rae. When I moved in with Justin and his mom, she was also living there. She had this thing with always making me feel like the funniest person in the world. She laughed at everything I said. She had a humor of her own. I could remember her, Justin, J.C., and I would stay up late and just laugh all night long. Anything and everything was funny to us. I think the thing I'm gonna miss most is her fun loving spirit." Chris had to stop, knowing he was about to cry. "That's really all I have to say," he said walking down the stairs. Following Chris was Lynn. She took a deep breath and looked out to see the sadness on her sons face. "I saw her first come out. Me, her mom, a doctor, and a nurse were the first ones to see her beautiful, angelic face. My little girl. That's what I called Rae. I never had a girl, so I used to pretend that she was mine. When she was living with me I had to be her mom. I could never compare to her real mother but I want you to know I got so much gratification seeing her grow up. She made me very proud. She made my son the happiest he's ever been and I thank her for that. I know she made her mother proud and probably each and every one of you here today. She had a way of making you smile even when you didn't want to. Only she could do that. Kathryn, I want to thank you for letting me be a part of her life and letting her be a part of my life," Lynn began to cry and walked over to Kathryn to give her a hug. Kathryn was sulking with a tissue in her hand. Lynn sat down next to her and Kathryn knew it was her turn to talk. She made her way to the front of the church with her tissue in her hand and turned to face the crowd. "Rae really hated when people felt sorry for her. She didn't like when people showed all their attention to her as if she were their main concern. I never understood it. Right now she's probably upset that we're even holding this funeral for her. She's probably saying 'you guys have better things to do'." Kathryn paused. "I don't though. She was my life. My pride and joy. Nothing in my life was more important than her. When living in Memphis together we lived in a small apartment. We had lived with Lynn and Justin before but when they moved out she would tell me 'it's just you and me mom'. Just me and her. The days when we went to the park and it would be just me and her playing on the playground. And when we went to this small cafe down the road it would be just me and her. Right now, I would give anything to be just me and her. Anything and everything." Kathryn began to cry a little more now and looked up to the ceiling. "Rae, when I make it to heaven I want you to know that it's just gonna be me and you kid." Kathryn blew her a kiss and then continued back to her seat. Everyone had reached into their pockets for tissues and the church was full of sad faces. Justin stood up and slowly made his way to the front. He hadn't planned to say anything but he decided he wanted to let everyone know how much he loved Rae. He started to shake a little but caught a grip of himself and turned towards the crowd. "She was my Rae-Rae and I was her Justy. When people asked us if we were brother and sister we would laugh and shake our heads yes. We always wished we were. We made a pact that when we turned thirty we were going to move in together with each other's wife or husband and kids and live together. We even shook on it. We wanted to do what our parents did so we could have as good a relationship as they did. We were going to relive their lives. I always loved Rae. Even when I ignored her when she came to see me on The Mickey Mouse Club. It's hard not to love her. She had an overwhelming beauty, a great sense of humor, and she was strong. She tried not to let me see her cry so I wouldn't think she was a baby. Once when she fell off the swing set she scuffed her knee and I asked her why she didn't cry and she said, 'I don't cry'. She was so strong. We had this song that we listened to on repeat for like a year. It was called "Deeper Than Blood." We decided it was our song. The words meant so much to us. I don't know what I plan to do with my life now and honestly I don't even know how I'm going to be able to move on, but I know if it were me who had died Rae would have been strong and moved on with her life. There will never be another Rae for me. Never. No one could amount to her. To her beauty, her personality, her sincerity, anything. A while back, there was a song we recorded called "If Only In Heaven's Eyes." I never thought the song would pertain to me, ever. But now it all makes sense to me. Every word. I wanna end by telling Kathryn that Rae was also my rainbow. Whenever I had a problem, Rae was the thing I looked for to comfort my feelings of grief. She is my Rae-Rae and I love her. I also want to thank Kathryn for letting her be apart of my life. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I want everyone here to know that my love for Rae runs deeper than blood. It is etched in my soul." Justin finished and placed a rose on top of Rae's shut coffin. He then kissed the lid and took his seat. The priest ended the ceremony with a prayer and they headed towards the grave site where Rae was to be buried. They all stood in a circle and prayed over the spot where she would soon be buried. It wasn't going to be until later that week, but everyone came to see the spot. After the funeral everyone returned to Kathryn's house and rejoiced for now Rae was in a better place. Chapter 20 Later that week Justin returned to the grave site to see her tombstone. The air was moist and the clouds hung over him gray and flat. He walked up slowly not knowing what it was going to say. He brought Rae roses and placed them on the ground as he took a seat next to the tombstone. When reading it tears filled his eyes. He slowly grazed his hand over the engraved words. Reading them over and over, the tears came more freely. His head couldn't take it anymore. The anger and sadness had filled his every thought and he didn't know who to blame. Was it himself? Did he let Rae take over his heart to the point where he couldn't live without her? Was it God? Why did God take her away from him without any notice? All these questions stood unanswered. He grabbed a hold of his jeans with one hand and gripped it tightly. Wiping off his eyes with the other, he let out a heavy sigh. "I miss you Rae. I can't take it anymore. I need you down here with me. Without you I can't even find the strength to leave my bed in the morning because I know that you will never wake up next to me again. Do you know how hard this is? I have to accept the fact that I can't ever hear your voice, see your beautiful face, or touch your soft skin ever again. Ever. Why? Why did you have to leave. How could someone take you away from me knowing how much I love you? We were meant to be together forever. I know it." Justin began to get angry. "I just don't understand. This isn't fair!" he shouted as he began to cry harder. He laid his face into his hands and sobbed. Not a sound interrupted him. The graveyard was peaceful and silent. He finally regained his composure and reached into his pocket. "The day you had died you came home to see that I was gone. You probably wondered what I was doing. Well," he said opening a small box that he pulled out of his pocket. "I was getting you a ring. The last time I got you one was like 10 years ago and it was from Chucky Cheese. The fact that it lasted this long is amazing. Anyway, I had it engraved and that's what took me so long. I also had to pick up some food and roses for a romantic dinner I had planned. I wish I had just waited to get that ring engraved so I could have been there with you. It must have been so scary. I could only imagine though." Justin felt the tears coming back. "Dammit, I can't go a minute without crying," he said in frustration. The wind started to pick up and a low thunder began in a far off cloud. "I guess that's my cue to get out of here." He turned the ring around and read the words that filled the inner circle. "Love Conquers Everything." Justin sat for a second thinking about the words. The words shed a little light upon him. "Everything?" he questioned out loud. It finally had hit him. This wasn't about God trying to purposely hurt him. This was about love. It proved something to Justin. Something he will never forget. Even though Rae wasn't there physically, but through love she would remain in his heart spiritually. He had to accept that that is only where she would be. There are other reasons for why Rae was gone, but for Justin this was the only one he could explain. Only time could reveal more explanations. He stood up and whispered, "I love you Rae." He read the tombstone once more than walked away. The tombstone read: Leslie "Rae-Rae" Sammons 7/16/83-09/11/02 Daughter of Kathryn Sammons "After every storm-if you look hard enough-a Rainbow appears." -Mariah Carey Peace, Love, Happiness After driving for a few minutes the rain picked up and Justin had to narrow his eyes to even see the road. The thunder was loud and the lightning had a lustrous glare the shined through the trees. Suddenly it all stopped. The rain, the thunder, and the lightning. It all just stopped. Not gradually, but at the very moment just gave up. There wasn't a drop that hit his windshield, and the grumbles that escaped the clouds had completely faded. Just the sound of the engine from Justin's car echoed in his ears. He pulled into his driveway still amazed from the sudden halt of the storm then turned around to see the sun trying to peak through the clouds. He got out of his car to search for the ray of light but couldn't find it. Running around to the other side of the yard he stopped. There it was. It laid so beautifully over the clouds. The colors were bright and brilliant. It was the first time he ever noticed a rainbow to be so beautiful. He pondered every curve of it and stood there in a gaze. Was it coincidence that a rainbow appeared after seeing Rae's grave? Was it a sign from Rae? The only explanation for it lied in the hands of God. And for the first time since Rae's death, Justin accepted it. He came out of his heavy daze and the corners of his mouth began to raise. Before he knew it, a full smile covered his face. The pain hadn't quite left his heart or brain but this was a start. Justin realized how lucky he was to even have met Rae. Now that she's gone he knew he needed move on. The rainbow was a turning point for Justin. It was the only thing that made him smile in two weeks. And the person behind it was the only person that had his heart. She may have left him physically, but never, ever, would she leave his heart. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Go take my survey here--->http://www.pollcat.com/ty0bgkvcjs_a If you liked Rainbow I have a new story coming out soon called Where You Are. If you want to read it let me know. Thanks! Go vote our site at the top 100 sites by clicking the link below.  |
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