Labels. As much as we yell at others to "not label us," we're just as guilty of doing the same thing. Fat, skinny, whorish, slutty, ugly, depressed, emo, goth, jock, black, white, Mexican, queer, fag, and my favorite, "demon incarnate." The list of adjectives goes on and on. I could write up a whole page of insults for everyone at the entire damned school.

I'm going to call attention to a lot of groups of people at our school. Why? Because no one ever bashes every stereotype and race equally and in a humerous manner.  I'm not trying to be racist, just fair.  You may fall under none of, or many of, these categories.

Fat/Obese- Nothing is wrong with being fat or obese, unless you use it as an excuse. Don't wanna jog a lap in gym? Too bad. If you don't, you're by default worse than everyone else in there, triple- digit IQ or not. Start walking. Most of America is fat, and you're just a statistic if you don't do something about it.

Skinny/Anorexic/Bulemic- Hamburger? Fries? No thanks, I'm starving myself to get guys. Hey, overly skinny girls are only attractive in France. And France sucks. So do models, which are never nearly as attractive as photographs tend to make them.

Whores/Sluts- Listen up, skank-os. Just because you have low self-esteem and need a dick-fix every five seconds doesn't mean we want to see you half-naked. Also, everyone please note the sluts that wear shirts saying "Hottie," or, "Your Boyfriend Liked Me More..." Yeah, none of them are attractive. These people are the reason Peoria has such a HUGE STD-ridden population. You'll also notice that these are the only people getting pregnant and having children at age 16. Tramps disgust me. And this applies to dick-suckers of all races.

Jocks- A lot of the jocks at Woodruff are actually nice, decent guys. But a lot of them are also retarded. The NBA PROBABLY won't be looking at you any time soon, so I suggest getting an education and raising your IQ a bit. A 90 on a test may be decent, even good, but as far as it goes as an intelligence quotient... well, you're screwed. So many of our jocks are only passing classes because they are just that: Jocks.

Goths- Goths above everyone else piss me off. "Oh, I'm so dark and evil and blah blah blah." These are the same people who had Hello Kitty wallpaper in their room growing up. You're about as "dark and mysterious" as my shits. I honestly suggest a new approach: removing your heads from your asses.

Emo/Scene- Boo hoo, nobody loves you. Maybe it's because you act like complete pussies all the time and cut yourselves, not to mention depressing everyone around you. Cut that shit out and grow some balls.

Now, I'm going to be the epitome of edgy and attack races, because you people are the height of cliché.

NOTE: The following does not necessarily mean anything. It's just me noticing the general population of these groups. Some people are excluded. Chances are, if you can read, that would be you.

White- You're not better than anyone else. Just because you can land a management position at McDonald's doesn't mean anything; you're still working at McDonald's. You people think you're top shit, and every one of you has to join a clique to fit in. You're all worthless in my eyes, and mine are the only ones that matter anyway.

Wiggers- Hey, you're not black, nor will you ever be, unless something along the lines of a "reverse Michael Jackson" happens. And it won't. So quit listening to rap to look badass, stop smoking menthol cigarettes to look cool, and start speaking ENGLISH. It's a language we're fond of in America.

Blacks- Why are black people so damn casual about life? And I remember when saying nigger was an offensive word that incited riots. Now you all abuse it. Oh, and being "brought up poor in da ghetto" isn't something a lot of people brag about. It would be if you became a better person because of it, but selling/doing drugs and calling every woman a "ho bitch ass" doesn't make you one.

Mexicans- I have no real beef with Mexicans, except that they spawn like rabbits and cross the border illegally... Oh, and why do you all travel in packs? You never see one Mexican without seeing at least 5 others. It's creepy.

Arabs- HAHAHAHA! WE DON'T HAVE ANY!

Asians- Stop beating everyone else at test scores. You're making us look bad.

There, I bashed every race equally. I’m not racist. Don’t start with me. Now shut up and go read REAL things. Books.