Eminems lyrics 2 - Neopets - http://maxpages.com/noneohackers/Eminems

Criminal

[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid f*ckin questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, sh*t.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cuz I'm a

CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my motherf*ckin balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these f*ckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A f*ck," still won't leave

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take sh*t from no one

[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the f*ck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to f*ck you up quicker
than you'd wanna f*ck me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherf*cker
get the motherf*ckin money and get the f*ck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, f*ck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the f*ckin money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna f*ckin kill you
Hurry the f*ck up! {*BOOM*} Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Then fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches! Pass this brass pest(?)
Cause Puffy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a f*ck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherf*ckin chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so this tape is shut
sh*t, half the sh*t I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a f*ckin rapist in a Jason mask

(Chorus 2X)

Kim

Yesterday I changed your diaper, wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big, can't believe it, now your two
Baby your so precious, daddy's so proud of you
SIT DOWN, BITCH, IF YOU MOVE AGAIN I'LL BEAT THE sh*t OUT OF YOU..

Kim: OK!!
Eminem: (Kim screaming) Don't make me wake this baby, she don't need to see
what I’m about to do
Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you
How could you?...just leave me and love him out the blue
Kim: (crying)
Eminem: Oh, what's a matter Kim....am I too loud for you?? (Kim screaming)
Too bad bitch, your gonna finally hear me out this time
At first, I’m like all right, you wanna throw me out, that's fine.
But not for him to take my place, are you out you're mind?
This couch, this tv, this whole house is mine.
How could you let him sleep in our bed?
Look it Kim, Look at your husband now,(kim: NOOO) I said look at him!!!
He ain't so hot now is he? Little punk.
Kim: Why are you doing this?
Eminem: Shut the f*ck up!!!
Kim: You're drunk, You're never going to get away at this..
Eminem: You think I give a f*ck!
Come on..we're going’ for a ride bitch,(Kim: NOOOO) sit up front.
Kim: why can't we just leave Haley alone....what if she wakes up?
Eminem: We'll be right back......Well I will, you'll be in the trunk.

Chorus 2x
SO LONG
BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG
I DON'T WANNA GO ON
LIVIN' IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU

Eminem: You really f*cked me Kim,
You really did a number on me,
Never knew me cheatin' on you would come back to hunt me.
But we was kids then Kim, I was only 18!
That was years ago, I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's f*cked up!!
Kim: I LOVE YOU.
Eminem: OH GOD MY BRAIN IS RACIN!
Kim: I LOVE YOU.
Eminem: What are you doing, change the station......I HATE this song! Does
this look like a big joke?
Kim: NO......
Eminem: * There’s a 4 year old boy lyin’ dead with a slit throat.....in your
living room.....HA HA........What you think I'm kiddin’ you
(crying) You loved him didn't you?
Kim: NO
Eminem: BULLsh*t YOU BITCH DON'T f*ckING LIE
TO ME.....(honk, honk)....What the f*ck's this guy's problem on the side of
me?......f*ck YOU ASSHOLE, YEAH BITE ME........KIM,KIIIM....why don't you
like
me?.....you think I’m ugly don't you.
Kim: IT’S NOT THAT
Eminem: no you think I’m ugly,
get the f*ck away from me, don't touch me.....I HATE YOU...I HATE YOU...I
SWEAR
TO GOD I HATE YOU....OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU .....HOW THE f*ck COULD YOU DO
THIS TO
ME (Kim: sorry) HOW THE f*ck COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!

Chorus2x
SO LONG
BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG
I DON'T WANNA GO ON
LIVIN' IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU

Eminem: Come on get out.
Kim: I can't I'm scared.
Eminem: I said get out bitch!
Kim: Let go of my hair....please don't do this baby...please...I love
you...look we
can just take Haley and leave
Eminem: f*ck YOU!....YOU DID THIS TO US...YOU DID IT...IT'S YOUR FAULT.
Oh my god i'm crackin up , GET A GRIP MARSHALL!!!!
Hey member the time we went to Brian's party?
And you were like so drunk that you threw up all over Archie.
That was funny wasn't it?
Kim: yes..
Eminem: THAT WAS FUNNY WASN'T IT?!!
Kim: YES!!
Eminem: See, it all makes sense, doesn't it? You and your husband had a
fight
One of you tries to grab a knife, and during the struggle he accidentally
gets his Adams apple sliced....And while this is goin’ on...his son just
woke up, and he just walks in...She panics...and he gets his throat cut, So
now they both dead....and you slash your own throat, So now it's double
homicide and suicide with no note, I should have known better when you
started to act weird, We could've.......HEY! where ya goin....get back
here!!! You can't run from me Kim....It's just us...Nobody else! You're only
makin’ this harder on yourself
HA HA....GOTCHA!!!! (Kim screams)HHHAA.......GO AHEAD YELL
HERE ILL SCREAM WITCHA......AH SOMEBODY HELP!!!
Don't you get it bitch, no one can hear you? ...Now shut the f*ck up and get
what's comin to you......You were supposed to love me!!!!! (kim
choking).....NOW BLEED BITCH BLEED....BLEED BITCH BLEED...BLEEEEEED!!!!

Chorus 2x
SO LONG..
BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG..
I DON'T WANNA GO ON..
LIVIN' IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU..

Im back

Eminem: That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (er) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY! SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

I murder a rhyme one word at a time, you never
Heard of a mind as perverted as mine, you better
Get rid of that nine it ain't gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin' for hell, like hell, sh*t, I'm anxous as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, thankful is jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
At thirteen I was putting shells in the gauge on the shelf, I used to
Get punked and bullied on my block, till I cut a kitten's head off
And stuck it in this kid's mailbox (HEY! MOM! MOM!), I used to give a
f*ck, now I could give a f*ck less
What do I think of sucess? It sucks! Too much press
*And stress, too much cess, and breasts, too upset
It's just, too much mess, I guess, I must just blew up quick (yes)
Grew up quick? (no) was raised right? Whatever you say's wrong, whatever I say's
right
You think of my name now whenever you say high, became a commodity because I'm W
- H - I
- T - E, 'cause MTV was so friendly to me, can't wait 'till Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life. How is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't working?
You hear this finger? Oh, it's upside down.
Here, let me turn this motherf*cker up right now!

Eminem: That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (shady) (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it
Just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this sh*t he's an innocent
Victim and becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
(record scratching)...my name is Slim Shady
I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational "back, it's the incredible!"
With Ken Kaniff who just finds the men edible, it's, Ken Kaniff, on the,
internet, tryin' to Lure your kids, with him, INTO BED, it's a Sick world
we'RE livIN' in these days
"Slim, for pete's sake, put down Christopher Reeve's legs!"
Geez! You guys are so sensitive. "Slim it's a touchy subject, try and just don't
mention it..."
Mind with no sense in it, fried, gets so frentic,
'Cause eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smoke in 'em
With my windows tinted, with nine limos rented,
Doin' lines of coke in 'em, with a bunch of guys hoppin' out
All high and dosing it
And that's where I get my name from
That's why they call me

Eminem: They call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (er) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

I take seven kids from columbine and stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
A Mac-11 and this oughtta solve this problem of mine
And that's a whole school of bullies shot up all of the time, 'cause I'm
Shady, they call me as crazy as this world was
Over this whole Y2K thing, and by the way
N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip-sync and buy a bigger size of ear rings?
That's why I tend to block out when I hear things
'Cause all these fans screamin' is making my ears ring
So I just throw up the middle finger and let it linger
Longer than the rumor that I was sticking it to Christina
'Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
It'd be Jennifer Lopez and Puffy you know this
Sorry Puff but I don't give a f*ck, if this chick was my own mother,
I'd still f*ck her with no rubber, and cum inside her
And have a son and a new brother,
At the same tame, and just say that it ain't mine
What's my name?

Eminem: I'm, Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (er) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

Guess who's back
Gue-gue-Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Gue-gue-Guess who's back

Marshall Mathers

You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everyone wants to come around like I owe em sumthin...
The f*ck you want from me?
Ten million dollars?
Get the f*ck outta here!

You see I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm just a regular guy I don't know why
All the fuss about me...
Nobody ever gave a f*ck before
All they did was doubt me...
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me...

Yo, you might see me joggin
Or you might see me walkin
You might see me walkin
A dead rottweiler dog
With his head chopped off in the park
With a spiked collar hollerin
At him cuz the son of a bitch wont quit barkin
Or leaning out a window with a cocked shotgun
Drivin up the block in the car that they shot Pac in
Lookin for BIG's killas
Dressin ridiculous
Blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cuz Biggie and Pac just missed all us
Watchin all these cheap immitations get rich off em
And get dollars that shoulda been theirs like they switched wallets
And amist all this chris poppin and wrist watches
I just sit back and just watch and just get nauseas
And walk around with a empty bottle of Remmy Martin
Startin sh*t like some 26 year old skinny Cartman (God Damn It)
I'm anti Backstreet and Ricky Martin
It's instincts to kill N Sync don't get me started
These f*ckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What is this bitch retarded
Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smilin (Hehe)
Whatever happened to wildin out and being violent
Whatever happened to catchin a good old-fashioned passionate
Ass whoopin and getting your shoes, coat, and your hat tooken

New kids on the block suck allota dick
Boy girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait till I catch all you faggots in public
Imma love it (Ha Ha Ha)

Vanilla Ice don't like me (Uh Uh)
He said some sh*t devior despite me (Yep)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me (Ha Ha)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
Run around screamin "I don't care, just bite me" (Na Na)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
And destroy your little 4 year old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear
In faggots who spray FAYGO root beer
And call themselves clowns cuz they look queer
FAGGY 2 dope and silent gay
Claimin Detriot, when y'all live twenty miles away
And I don't wrestle I'll knock you f*ckin faggots the f*ck out
Ask them about the club they was at when they snuck out
After they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
Ducked down and got paintball shot at they truck PLOW!
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
When you aint seen a f*ckin mile roll South of 10
And I don't need help
>From D-12
To beat up
Two females
And make up
When they tried to scratch me
Wit Lee nails
Slim Anus...you damn right Slim Anus
I don't get f*cked in mine like you two little flamin faggots

Cuz I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm not a wrestler guy
I'll knock you out if you talk about me...
Come and see me on the streets alone
If you assholes doubt me...
And if wanna run your mouth
Then come and take your best shot at me...

Is it because you love me
That y'all expect so much of me
You little groupie bitch get off me
Go f*ck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop
That's on top
Wit this f*cked up head that I've got
I've gone pop
The underground just spun around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
Oh, he just did some sh*t with Missy
So now he thinks he's too big to do some sh*t with MC Get Busy
My f*ckin bitch mom suing for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I been stealin
sh*t, where the f*ck you think I picked up the habit
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up a matress
Which is it bitch Mrs. Riggs or Ms. Mathers
It doesn't matter........faggot
Talkin about how I fabricated my past
He's just aggravated I wont ejaculate in his ass
So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fightin and fussin
Over for who wants to invite me to supper
All of a sudden
I got 90 some cousins (Hey It's Me)
A half brother and sister who never seen me
Or even bothered to call me
Until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed
To set foot in my girlfriends house (Hey)
And then to top it off I walk to the newsstand
And buy this cheap ass magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page flipped right fast
And what do i see? A picture of my big white ass!
Ok, lemme give you motherf*ckers some help
Uh here...double XL, double XL
Now your little magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Aww f*ck it I'll even buy a couple myself

Cuz I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me...
Nobody ever gave a f*ck before
All they did was doubt me...
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me...

Because I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me...
Nobody ever gave a f*ck before
All they did was doubt me...
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me...

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Page Updated Thu Jul 18, 2002 2:54pm EDT