Eminem's lyrics - Neopets - http://maxpages.com/noneohackers/Eminems

The real slim shady

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like ya never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her *** worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin' her over furniture
It's the return of the...
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he just didn't say what I think he did, did
he?"
And Dr. Dre said...
Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement!
Feminist women love Eminem
"{*Eminem's vocal turntable*} Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But the worse is what's going on in your parents' bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to **** a dead moose
"My bum on your lips, my bum on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's ******** is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals"
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can **** dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote
Women wave your panty-hoes, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus:
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records
Well I do so "**** him and **** you too!"
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
**** Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear them argue over who she gave **** to first
You little *****, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
I say download the audio on MP3 and show the whole world
how you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a *** like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Repeat Chorus

I'm like a head trip to listen to cuz I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the ***** to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be frost or sugar coated at all
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just ******* better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses ***** when I'm ****** off or *******
Said I'm ******* but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming "I don't give a ****!"
With his windows down and the system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
**** it, let's all stand up

The way I am

The Way I Am by Eminem
Whatever...
Dre just let it run.......
Hey yo turn the beat up a little bit
Hey yo.....this song is for anyone....f*ck it ...just shut up and listen

I sit back, with this pack
of zig zags....and this bag
of this weed. it gets me. the sh*t, needed to be
the most meanest mc on this.....on this earth
and since birth i've been cursed with this curse that just cursed
and just blurt it's bezerk and bizarre sh*t that works
and it sells and it helps in itself to relieve all this tension dispensing me
sentence is getting it...stress has been eating me recently
all for this chest and i rest to get peacefully
but at least have the decency..........in you to leave me alone when you freaks
see me out...in the streets when im eatin or feedin my daughter
and not come and speak to me ......i don't know you and no i don't owe you
a motherf*ckin thing......i'm not Mr. NSYNC and i'm not what your friends think
i'm not Mr. Friendly......i can be a prick....if you tip me my tank is on
empty.....
no patience is in me and if you offend me ....i'm lifting you ten feet.....in
the air
i don't care who was there and who saw me destroy you.....i'll call you a lawyer
.....file you a lawsuit......i ll smile in the courtroom ...and buy you a
wardrobe....i'm tired of arguing ....i don't mean to me but it's all i can
be, it's just me

Chorus
and i am....whatever you say i am
if i wasn't , then why would i say i am?
in the papers, the news, everyday i am
radio won't even play my jam

cuz i am.....whatever you say i am
if i wasn't, then why would i say i am?
in the papers, the news, everyday i am
i don't know it's just the way i am

sometimes i just feel like my father.....i hate to be bothered
with all of this nonsense.....it's constant and "oh it's just lyrical content"
the song "guilty conscience" has gotten such rotten responses
and all of this controversy ..circles me...and it seems like the media
immediately points a finger at me.....so I point one back at them
but not the index or the pinky......or the ring or the thumb......it's the one
you put up when you don't give a f*ck....when you won't just put up......with
the bull sh*t they pull....cuz they full of sh*t too....when a dude's gettin
bullied and shoots up your school......and they blame it on Marilyn.....and the
heroin....where were the parents at??....and look at where it's at......middle
America.....now it's a tragedy....now it's so sad to see....in upper classity
having this happening,
then attack eminem cuz i rap this way.....but i'm glad cuz they feed me the fuel

that i need for the fire to burn and it's burnin' and I have returned
Chorus
and i am....whatever you say i am
if i wasn't then why would i say i am?
in the paper, the news, everyday i am
radio won't even play my jam

cuz i am.....whatever you say i am
if i wasn't then why would say i am?
in the paper, the news, everyday i am
i don't know it's just the way i am

i'm so sick and tired of bein admired
that i wish that i would just die or get fired
and drop from my label...and stop with the fables
i'm not goin to be able....to top what my name is
and pigeons holdin to some poppy sensations
they caught me in rotation at rock n roll stations
and i just do not got the patience....to deal with this cocky caucasions
who think im some wigger who just tries to be black...cuz i talk with an accent
and then grab on my balls till they always keep askin the same f*ckin questions
.....what school did i go to? ,.......what hood i grew up in?.....the why?...the

who what?.....when and the where and the how.......till im grabbin my hair and
im tearin it out......you ve been drivin me crazy.....i can't take it....i'm
racin....i'm pacin....i stand then i sit.......and i'm thankful for every fan
that i get......but i can't take a sh*t...in the bathroom w/out someone standing

by it......you knew i won't sign your autograph....you can call me an asshole
i'm glad
Chorus
cuz i am......whatever you say i am
if i wasn't then why would i say i am?
in the papers, the news, everyday i am
radio won't even play my jam

cuz i am...whatever you say i am
if i wasn't then why would i say i am?
in the paper, the news, everyday i am?
i don't know it's just the way i am

Stan

CHORUS:
My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed
at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see
at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture
on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed
at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see
at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture
on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

VERSE 1:

Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the
bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn
You must not have got 'em
It probably was a problem at the post office or
somethin'

Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot
'em
But anyways, **** it, what's been up man, how's your
daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm out to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm-a call her? I'm-a
name her Bonnie.

I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't
want him.
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your
biggest fan.
I even got the underground **** that you did with
Scam.

I got a room full of your posters and your pictures,
man.
I like the **** you did with Ruckus too, that **** was
fat.
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to
chat
Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan.

CHORUS:

My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed
at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see
at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture
on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

VERSE 2:

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you
have the chance.
I ain't mad, I just think it's ****ed up you don't
answer fans.
If you didn't want to talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to
but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew.
That's my little brother, man. He's only 6 years old.
We waited in the blistering cold for you for 4 hours
and ya just said no.
That's pretty ****ty man, you're like his ****in' idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more
than I do.

I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' lied to.
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write
you
You would write back. See, I'm just like you in a way.
I never knew my father neither.
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her.

I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs.
So when I have a ****ty day, I drift away and put 'em
on.
Cause I don't really got **** else, so that **** helps
when I'm depressed.
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest.

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds.
It's like adrenaline. The Pain is such a sudden rush
for me.
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you
'cause you tell it.
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.
But she don't know you like I know you, Slim, no one
does.
She don't know what it was like for people like us
growing up.
You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest fan
you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Stan. PS: We should be together too.

CHORUS:

My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed
at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see
at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture
on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

VERSE 3:

Dear Mr. "I'm too good to call or write my fans"
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass.
It's been six months and still no word. I don't
deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the
addresses on 'em perfect.

So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you
hear it.
I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway.
Hey Slim, "I drank a fifth

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Page Updated Thu Jul 18, 2002 2:54pm EDT