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ME
Cooking With Nikki
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| My Thoughts! |
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| Beware, I'm writing this on what is inevitably one of my lowest days in history, my life is finaly on it's downward spiral, the only thing that is certain now is death! I'm writing whatever comes into my head right now, I quite frankly don't know what I'm going to say. If you are overly sensitive or just a pathetic little coward you may as well fuck off right now at the risk that I'll offend you! What's the date today? UMMM, September 26 1999 I don't know what I'm so pissed off about it's just that everything lately has been getting to me and I'm so sick of it. With every single little thing people say to me I just get more and more tense and I hate the feeling. I just want to be able to lay down and have no pressure or added stress to deal with, but that's not realisticly going to happen is it!? Between my fucked up parents, school and friends I just can't handle it all! I hate my conscience, my god damn brain and what ever heart I have are telling me to do whatever the fuck I want but my conscience is the thing that's holding me back and it scares me that it's stronger than the both! September 28 1999 I am such an idiot. I'm sick of my life being so boring, I always wished it could be like something out of a television show. Occasionaly something does happen that could feature on an episode of Melrose but it's always something tragic like you discover your mother was married to someone else before your father and your brother is only your half brother! I want something great and big to happen but It's not going to. i'm just setting myself up for disappointment, I hate doing this to myself. I always end up feeling like shit! September 29, 1999 Over the past couple of I've become freakishly emotional! I have no idea why but I seem to be taking it out on everybody, it's really weird! I've just been venting all my frustraion in really strange ways and I've ben crying at the drop of a hat. I've pschoanalysed myself and discovered I suffer from slight schitzophrenia, depression as well as having suicidal tendencies, I'm really starting to scare myself! October 5, 1999 I don't know what to say here, my insightful, emotional streak it over. Therefore the intellectual level of this site will inevitable fall until the next time something goes drasticly wrong so for those of you who are carefuly following the traumatic life of nicole Jayne Lee, I'm sorry. But stay tuned for my next disaster! |
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