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| QUOTATIONS 2117-2129 |
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| 2117. Unseen and unheard. Imagine yourself sitting in a classroom. A question is asked. Most of the students are silent. A few who answer are either wrong or only partially right. You think you know the right answer, you feel it in your bones. You raise your hand, but nobody notices it. You speak, but no head is turned. Your attempts to attract attention produce no result. Suddenly you realize that no one hears or sees you. You are neither visible nor audible. And there is nothing you can do to change it. And this is where I am. As Life ceaselessly bombards us all with questions, as I read and listen how the others respond to them, I know that sometimes I can provide a better answer. And I try and try, earnestly and desperately, to do just that. But to no avail. For I am neither seen nor heard. I am invisible and inaudible. And though undoubtedly alive, I do not exist. Some may try to cheer me up by saying that I am not alone in this predicament. Perhaps, but how can I know for sure? If these people are like me, they must be as invisible and inaudible as I am. So, how can one ascertain their existence if they have none? 2118. It must be exceedingly gratifying to discover the core issue of our time, and then to contemplate it at leisure. Regrettably, it is also highly misleading. For there is never a single most important issue at any time in history, but always many, each masquerading as the primary one, vying for our undivided attention. And the true discovery is to understand how they interact in making our time different from any other. Now, accepting this as a guiding principle, one may go on producing several variation on the theme, emphasizing, one after another, different aspects of the above. It may enlarge and enhance the picture, by adding some more or less important details. One may proceed, if one is so inclined, in this direction. But I‘ll stop at this. For there is always a risk that quantity of the details may obscure the quality of the whole. And I am, for one, is not willing to take this risk. Yet, not to leave a reader totally empty handed, let me to give just one example: to the question what is the most important issue of our time – energy/oil, globalization, environment, terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, religious fundamentalism, racism, demographics, oppression of women – the only correct answer is "all of the above." And it is so obvious, that no reasonable person will disagree with it. But, of course, this is not the right question. The real one is how they interact. What is "the unifying theory of everything?" So far no one has discovered it. And I am not sure if anyone, a kind of socio-economic Einstein, is even trying to. 2119. In 1949, two years after the establishment of the State of Israel, Arthur Koestler, the author of the famous anti-Stalinist novel Darkness at Noon (1941), published a 200-pages manifesto, Promise and Fulfilment. In it, as also in the subsequent essay Judah at the Crossroads (1954) and several interviews, he argued quite persuasively that, after the State of Israel came into being, the thousands years old Jewish prayer, "Next year in Jerusalem" has been finally answered, and everyone who claims to be a Jew, from that moment on, must confront a dilemma – either to immigrate to Israel and become a full-fledged Jew, or remain "in exile," this time voluntary, and put all his efforts into assimilation, both for one's own, but especially for one's children's and grandchildren's sake. Page after page, question after question were handled exhaustively, with unwavering consistency and unshakable convictions. No "i" was left undotted, no "t" remained uncrossed. His logic was unassailable, his erudition impeccable, his sincerity unquestionable. I don't think anyone in Jewish history presented such a strong case for assimilation. Half a century passed since. Has any American or English Jew made a decision to stay and assimilate, or to go to Israel and become the true Jew, based on Koestler's arguments? There is no evidence for this. To begin with, it's hard to tell how many Jews have actually read Promise and Fulfilment, and of those who read it, how many agreed or disagreed with its main premise, and of those who agreed, how many actually followed it. But the numbers are telling– twice as many self-identified, and therefore not assimilated (by Koestler's standards), Jews still live outside Israel than inside. One may safely conclude that the brilliant reasoning of Koestler fell largely on the deaf ears. To paraphrase Churchill, never before in Jewish history so many great arguments in favor of assimilation affected so few people. Which proves irrefutably that ordinary people, unlike ideologues, seldom make conscious choices, based on reason and logic, but are rather carried passively by flow of events beyond their control. Left alone, people are driven by the multitude of immediate self-interests, often conflicting with each other, responding to constantly changing circumstances, one day at a time, no general plan, no central goal. Ask an average person at the end of his life, and if he is honest he will tell you he could have never imagined that it would turn the way it did. And whenever peoples' behavior seems to follow some ideological precepts, it is either purely co-accidental, or involuntary, under the duress, obeying some external ideological pressure. Lenin was wrong when he proclaimed that an idea becomes a force when masses embrace it. The less romantic truth is that, in fact, masses are not interested in ideas. They only "embrace" them when forced to. And that's exactly what bolsheviks did in 1917. One has to give Lenin credit – he never let theory interfere with practice. Stalin, who succeeded Lenin, extended this principle of realpolitik to its "logical" end. Fashioning himself on Lenin, as a man of hard practice, and not some woolly theories, but lacking Lenin's stature and finesse, he simply eliminated all brilliant bolsheviks' ideologues who interfered with his "down to earth" practice. Which reminds me, that perhaps enough is said on the subject, and I should let a reader to make his/her own conclusions, lest be accused of interference. 2120. The ordinary Americans suffer racial strife, rampant crime, destruction of their cities, massive welfare expenditures, educational malice, etc., etc., all directly or indirectly attributable to the legacy of slavery, from which they've never derived any benefits. The ordinary citizens of France and England suffer from the same multitude of socio-economic afflictions, precipitated mainly by the massive influx into their countries of the former colonial subjects in Africa, Asia, and Carribean Islands –the legacy of colonialism driven largely by the greed of the rich, not the need of the poor. The chickens may have come back home to roost, but not to the "homes" where they were hatched – not to the mansions in the fashionable quarters of Boston and Philadelphia, of London and Paris, not to the manors and estates and palaces, not to those responsible for the appalling consequences of slavery and colonialism– but to the modest homes and apartments of the working poor and the middle class, who now have to pay the price for the crimes against humanity committed by the elites, the elites never eager to share the proceeds of their crimes with those they used as the disposable tools to obtain them–the undeserving poor. 2121. Humanity is plagued by many curses not easily responsive to any known remedy. One of the most distressing, though hardly fatal, is scarcity of the truly witty people and overabundance of those laboring under the grievous misapprehension that they are, and, what is much worse, are constantly inflicting on the defenseless public the appalling fruits of this stubbornly refusing to go away delusion. In my opinion, people without genuine sense of humour, when trying to sound witty, present one of the most pathetic and ridiculous spectacles of human nature. For wit is a natural gift, and though many may appreciate a good joke, only a few are capable of creating one. But, unfortunately, while most of us accept our inherent limitations as far as singing, painting, making music etc., etc., are concerned, every Tom, Dick, and Harry, when it comes to making a joke, never hesitates, no matter how dull, hackneyed and silly it is. Alas, nothing could be done about it. One must endure the bad jokes like one endures mosquitoes. You may run, but you can't hide from them. 2122.From sublime to ridiculous is but one step. It all depends where one is going, up or down. 2123. There is this popular, yet mistaken notion that the Jews are too touchy, too sensitive, that a Jew carries a chip on his shoulders. It was originally put into circulation by those unconscious, habitual antisemites who're so much accustomed to baiting a Jew with impunity that even the slightest protest on the part of their perennial victim would startled them as something out of the ordinary and therefore abnormal. Regrettably, many Jews accepted this as true as well, as they accepted many other negative stereotypes imposed on them. And not just accepted, but assimilated it into their psyche to such an extent, that in some extreme cases it led to emergence of this grotesque and pathetic figure– a self-hating Jew. I wouldn't characterize myself or any average Jew as supersensitive. On the contrary, we developed through the century of assault on our human rights and dignity a rather thick skin, and learn (in order to survive) to endure more humiliation than any other people on Earth. Let's not forget that it was a Jew, one by the name Yeshua (whom the Christians renamed Jesus to downplay his Jewishness) who preached to his followers, the Jews, the virtue of nonresistance, the virtue we may add born out of necessity. Ye have heard that it was said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: but I say unto you, resist not him that is evil: but whosoever smiteth thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man would go to law with thee, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Ye have heard that it was said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy: but I say unto you, love your enemies, and pray for them that persecute you; And let's also not forget that it were the Jews who followed these extraordinary precepts (even if out of necessity, for what else could they do) much more closely than the Christians. No, we Jews don't have a chip on our shoulders. I wish this would have been our worst problem. For what we have is a bleeding wound in our hearts, the wound that wouldn't heal, the wound that is not allowed to heal by those who find their greatest pleasure in life to throw salt on it, again and again. To be a Jew is to forgive them, who have sentenced Us to live in shame of unrevenged insults forever gnawing at our hearts. 2124. Those who still believe that it is unique Jewish mission to bring the light unto the nations, may contemplate the following– the world so far have been more successful in taking the Jews to Hell than the Jews in taking it to Heaven. 2125. To finally have the opportunity to despise and reject all those who always despised and rejected us, or, what is more likely, never even noticed our existence, must be one of the strongest motivations to achieve success. For a wounded, long suffering ego nothing seems to be as sweet as a revenge, at least until one had an chance to exercise it. Though, I personally wouldn't know anything about it, for I haven't been in this position yet, and considering my age probably never will. 2126. To the impatient, either with nature or with men I'd say – an apple can only ripen properly on a tree, on the apple tree, on the apple tree it has grown on, and in its due time. 2127. The real danger the so-called "realists," the practical men, the doers, the players, the movers and shakers present to society is that unlike the rest of us, who just complain about weather, they firmly believe that they are capable, and have a duty to do something about it. Which invariably brings the disastrous results we all suffer from. Which makes us nostalgic for the good old days of unpredictability of weather and wish to escape any certainty which somehow always turns out to be worse than anything we complained before. 2128. It is simply not true that romantic love is a relatively recent invention. Since Adam took a look for the first time at Eve and found her to be the most attractive woman he ever saw (it helped, of course, that there wasn't any other around to compare her with), and Eve reciprocated likewise and for similar reasons ( Adam must be the only man whose wife never told him, "I should have married Bob instead of you") young men and women roused in each other less than pure thoughts. What is true that for most of them, most of the time (and for some even now) the family considerations took precedence over their romantic inclinations and prevented the budding romance to blossom into society's sanctioned union. Though there were always breaches of parental authority and vigilance, as high rate of illegitimacy and "shot-gun" weddings testify to. Now, that the triumph of romance over more practical concerns is celebrated everywhere(well, almost everywhere), perhaps the fact that Paradise is not without some flaws may be cautiously acknowledged. It appears that when something is universally desirable but not universally obtainable there are bound to be some casualties–not everyone was invited to the party, and among those who were, finding a dancing partner has been proven much more difficult than it was promised to be, and in some sad cases downright impossible. 2129. In praise of lying. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying everyone is a liar and that everybody is lying. I am just trying to make a point that not being able or willing to lie every once in a while (and believe me there are people like this out there) is a great handicap, which can make a difference between more or less smooth sailing through life and being battered by one hurricane after another. Take, for example, the matters of personal privacy. Many people are simply too nosy and want to know too much about your private affairs. You can either tell them frankly it is none of their business, and earn an unenviable reputation of being rude and hard to get along with ( the reputation which will make your relations with these people rather difficult), or tell some hard to verify half-truth, or even lies, and be regarded as a jolly good fellow, open and sincere, a pleasure to deal with. The choice is obvious. Or take another example. When a beggar on the street asks you for money and you don't want to give it to him, would you say "I am not going to give anything to a lazy bustard like you" (which is the truth) and get involved into an unpleasant and potentially violent confrontation, or claim apologetically that you just don't have any cash on you at the present moment(which is a lie), and be safely on your way. Both, the beggar and you know, you're lying, but he isn't going to make a fuss. Most people he asks do the same. It is one of the inevitable drawbacks of his "profession." He must get used to it, or get out of business. Besides, there are other people continually coming his way who could be more responsive to his plea. He just cannot waste his time on such a unpromising target as you clearly are. Always telling the truth enormously complicates one's life, while lying greases its machinery, making it run smoothly, without much noise. Sure, everyone gets occasionally caught and embarrassed. But precisely because it happens to everyone, it is a kind of vice which is almost always forgiven, unless the lying caused some great damage. There is certain mutual tolerance, an implicit solidarity, a sense of shared guilt, of brotherhood/sisterhood of equals among the liars. I lied to you, you lied to me–we are even. And it is the one who tells the truth that is ostracized and made to feel like someone who doesn't belong in polite society. Sins may be forgiven, but virtues are inexcusable. "Who does he think he is, some kind of a saint? Does he think he's better than everybody else? What a prick, what an arrogant bustard. O, yeah, we're going to teach him some lessons one day." Few things upset people more than being disappointed in their expectations, and while everyone is clamoring for truth we all expect to be lied to. Thus, the stronger the declaration of truth, the more mistrustful we are. "Methinks, the lady protests too much." So, don't disappoint them, lie. Always telling the truth, when the others don't, puts one at a great disadvantage. It is like while playing cards you're the only one at the table who lays them up –you don't know what other players are holding, but everyone knows your hand. Lying helps us to avoid doing what we don't want to do, and makes it easier to do what we want, while telling the truth creates many obstacles, great and small, to either. And so it goes. Whenever you don't want to do something make a plausible excuse, whenever you make a mistake have a credible explanation ready. Most of the time you can get away with it, for most of the time people have neither time nor energy to pursue the matter and expose you. They just let it pass. And "most of the time" is what counts in life. Of course, the unpleasant accidents happen. But that's life. You have to take the bad with the good. Just make sure there is much more good than bad in your life. Why am I so obsessed with lying? For the same reason an atheist is obsessed with religion. One is prone to be obsessed with what one is lacking. And for as long as I can remember I always lacked an ability(a gift, as far as my life's experience is concerned) to lie. I'm not sure why, a defective gene, the wrong upbringing, nature or nurture? While for some people it is hard to tell truth, I have to make a real effort to lie, and then it is so amateurish, so transparent that no one believes me. I even wrote a little poem about my predicament: Some say small children or big fools are only one to tell the truth. Nor child, neither fool am I, yet it's so hard for me to lie. Needless to say, this deficiency brought me a lot of frustration and grief. It often made me feel powerless and angry. Looking back, it is clear to me that my life would have been much less troubled, if only I could lie once in a while. And now, following a maxim "better late than never," I promise myself to learn to lie. Not much of my life is left, and I just want to spend it as comfortably as possible. And lying, at least occasionally, seems to be the best and the easiest way to achieve this goal. |
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