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| QUOTATIONS 813-841 |
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| 813. Every now and then I am accused of being inconsistent. And I have to admit that, though I try very hard not to be, I must have been inconsistent on more than a few occasions. I also sometimes remind others (not too often, I hope) of their inconsistencies, and, in general, I don't think I have ever met a single person who was completely free from this "sin". But if the majority of people share a certain trait in common, it is not unreasonable to look upon it not as an aberration, but as a norm requiring some explanation. The most obvious one (ulterior motivation excluded) is that it is difficult to always remember what one had said or done in the past in the circumstances similar to the present ones. On the other hand, perhaps the similarity is only apparent but not the real one, and the inconsistencies of men (including even the greatest philosophers) are but a reflection of the infinitely complex world and life in men's finite ideas and actions. Now, to be perfectly honest, I wasn't always so broad-minded and understanding. But as I grow older I'm becoming more empathetic and tolerant toward my fellow men's shortcomings, or at least toward those I share with them. 814.The arrogance of the privilege is so deeply ingrained in the members of the upper class, that neither enlightenment, nor intelligence, not even the strongly professed and sincerely held beliefs "that all men are created equal" can completely erase it either from their speech or behaviour. Therefore they have to, for their own sake, be constantly on alert, not to betray by a slip of the tongue or by an inadvertent gesture such an embarrassing, by the today's standards, "bred in the bone" snobbery. 815. Some people would definitely like you more, the more you, by failing, give them an opportunity not only to demonstrate how kind and compassionate they are by helping you, but also, as a bonus, to show how much better and successful they are at what you were trying to do but have failed. Needless to say, there are always the clever fellows who, being more pragmatic than proud, would use this human weakness for self-aggrandizement to their advantage and feign helplessness and ineptitude to get what they want from the others. On the other hand, those who are, in fact, incompetent and inept, but unwilling to admit it even to themselves, usually strongly resent any offering of help, seeing it as the reminder of their inadequacy or even accusation of it, and in the extreme cases would "bite the hand that feeds them", i.e. would literally hate those who help them, and, given the opportunity, repay the good with the evil. 816. Putting the blame for our own inability or laziness to see clearly through life on the so-called infinite complexity of it, is the most trite and yet the most often used excuse. Its main attraction, besides relieving us of necessity to think hard, is that it seems to bestow on its practitioner the aura of intellectual sophistication without the slightest effort on his part and imply the respectable "all tried, nothing known" worldly weariness in somebody who, in fact, had never strayed too far from his home-base. But because of its wide usage (for almost everyone is "guilty" of resorting to it one time or another) this lamest of excuses has miraculously attained the status of the supreme wisdom, and there is nobody who would dare to say loudly that "the emperor has no clothes on". 817. I not only feel, I know I'm different from others, but it is not the kind of objective, "finger prints" difference each individual willy-nilly possesses. No, I'm different in my own peculiar way, in that, unlike the majority of men I know, I don't mind to be different and, as far as I can remember, never even tried to be like those around me or any body else. On the contrary, as soon as I've discovered my individuality, I deliberately chose to celebrate and protect it from the relentless pressure to conform, and, instead of hiding my uniqueness, display it freely and unashamedly. And because I value it so much in myself, I'm more than willing, nay eager to grant it to anyone else. 818. For all those teen- and not so teen-agers, who love to defy their parents and even to brag to each other, or just about to anybody willing to listen, about doing exactly the opposite of what their parents want them to do, I have a question: "How come you don't rebel against the popular culture ( or any specific subculture which is but a variation thereof) which is a hundred times more oppressive and dictatorial in telling you what to do, what to think, what to feel, how to dress, what to eat, and so on and so forth, from the most mundane to the most personal and intimate in your life?". So, why don't you defy the Big Father or the Big Mother? And, by the way, unlike the Big Brother, they don't watch you, that's for sure, and for a simple reason - they just don't give a damn about you. Now, if you are still looking for an answer (which is highly unlikely) don't bother, for I've got ready one for you: You just have no personal courage to remain true to yourself in this case. It is much easier and safer to oppose your loving, endlessly forgiving and essentially powerless "small" parent, than to disobey the omnipresent, omnipotent and definitely unforgiving Big One - the Popular Culture. 819.Even if it is true what Shakespeare had said about the world being "a stage, where every man must play a part", it doesn't answer the bigger, much bigger question of life: how one is to know which "part" is his to play, and who is in charge of the casting? The importance of this question must be painfully clear to anyone who throughout his life felt frustrated again and again in his attempts to play "a part" he believed was his, frustrated by those around him who denied it being as such, and tried to impose on him the role he couldn't or wouldn't play. And I rarely saw people becoming more angry than when they felt subjected to such a denial and an imposition. 820. To obsessively dwell on the meaning and purpose of one's life is a peculiar curse of Man. 821. The idea of predestination, while diminishing or even abolishing the notion of man's sovereignty over his fate, compensates this loss with the other notion which must be more crucial to man's precarious sense of self-esteem, the notion that one's life has some determinate purpose in the greater scheme of things, as opposed to a spirit-crushing suspicion, bordering sometimes on certainty, that one's existence is but a pure accident, and whether one ever lived or not wouldn't make any difference. 822. Trying to do what one was obviously not meant to (and it shouldn't take a life time to discover that) can only lead to disappointment, frustration and embarrassment. So, instead of "if at first you don't succeed, try and try again" - the famous motto of the bull-headed and maniac-obsessives - you should spend your time (and life) more productively, and definitely more enjoyably, by first finding out what you are really good at, which isn't as difficult as it seems. For what we can do with the least efforts, while enjoying it the most must be it. And then be happy by doing just that, which is almost always possible provided one doesn't seek any external rewards. 823.All the miracles of the Universe were not sufficient enough to convince me of the existence of the Supreme Power, until I began to discern the certain pattern in my infinitesimally insignificant life, the pattern which wouldn't make any sense, unless I accept the existence of Providence. For, though Life has tried me mercilessly "by fire and water" almost from the start (and I'm afraid isn't through with me yet), it has eventually, by effectively blocking all other possibilities, brought me where I wanted to be in the first place - to philosophy and writing. And though I've dreamt about being both a philosopher and a writer since my early adolescence, I now realize that without the kind of life I had, I would have had nothing of any importance to think or to write about. 824.There is no doubt that one seeking help, especially of the emotional and psychological kind, is in need, first of all, of being listened to. But "listening",in itself, isn't very helpful, unless the listeners can relate to what a speaker tells them and respond by sharing their own similar experiences and how they dealt with them. Unfortunately, it is not always the case, for no matter how sympathetic the listeners are, it isn't easy to relate to somebody else's particular problems. Yet , feeling obligated, if only out of compassion, to react in some fashion, like a doctor, who, though unable to correctly diagnose an illness, writes a prescription anyway, they would try to offer some advice. At this point, "the seeker" can either simply disregard the advice-prescription as irrelevant to his particular situation but, at the same time, be appreciative of the other's willingness to listen and to help the best way they can, or to interpret the useless (and therefore unsolicited) advice as a sign of not being listened to, ignored and rejected. It is perfectly clear that the first type of reaction is vastly preferable to the second one. For getting angry with those who are though unable yet willing to help will brand "the seeker" as being ungrateful, and the next time he seeks help it would be given only reluctantly or not at all. On the other hand, expressing gratitude even if only for the willingness to listen and to help will keep the door open and when "the seeker" knock on it again the welcome and desire to help will be even more generous and perhaps more efficacious. One should always remember the saying: "Don't foul the well you might need to drink from again". 825. To those poets who lament the meagreness of their output my advice would be to follow the example of Gertrude Stein by repeating each word several times and you can easily double or triple it. 826. Given a choice between myth and reality, people inevitably choose myth. That's why the adopted children, no matter how loving their adoptive parents are, always long for the natural ones. And so are the children and grandchildren of the immigrants who dream about the country of their ancestors, no matter how good their life in the new land is. 827. Personally, I wasn't surprised to hear the other day that the Japanese Mafia was doing the better job at helping the victims of the earthquake in Kobe than the Japanese Government. After all, the Mafia specializes in organised crime, while the Government usually presents us with the disorganised version thereof. 828. Forgive them who once defeated you, the sin of their victory. 829. Though it is pleasant and gratifying to talk to the people who share our convictions and sentiments, and thus always agree with us, yet, to learn something new one should occasionally converse with those holding the opposite to his opinions. 830.Whether one truly and deeply believes in what one claims to believe in or not, as long as he strongly and sincerely believes in his believing it should suffice, and may be all man is capable of. 831. Some people seem to be born already possessing the natural goodness. Yet, even in them it isn't enough, for due to the human imperfections one isn't always the best judge of one's own thoughts and actions. Therefore, one needs the objective standard of the absolute perfection to measure oneself up against (similar to the way all weights in the world are measured against the international standard of weight - the standard kilogram - kept in a vault in Paris) and to strive to emulate it as close as possible. Thus, the Christians who profess Christ to be such a standard of the absolute perfection should always measure their lives against it. 832. If one has the natural ability to think clearly and articulate the thoughts lucidly, should one suppress and conceal it in the presence of other men, so not to incur their displeasure, or even hate because they might feel less endowed in this aspect than he is? Some people are given a gift of a beautiful voice, others an ability to play or compose music, still others to paint, or to dance and to do it much better than the rest of us. And yet, we are able to enjoy their special talents without lamenting our deficiencies in such areas. So, why one's clear thinking and lucid articulation in the presence of the others provoke so much jealousy and hostility on their part? Is it because we think that these particular qualities all men have to possess in equal measure and none should be better at it than anybody else? I firmly believe that if the ability to think and to express one's thoughts were not commonly considered as simply essential human attributes, but also as the special talents, then perhaps it would be acceptable to allow them, as to other talents of men, the different degree of perfection. As of now, regrettably "a prophet (still) is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house". 833.The people with drastically different life histories can, nevertheless, suffer from the same psychological malady - depression, but yet for the strikingly opposite reasons. The so-called under-achievers get depressed because they have never accomplished anything of significance in the past, and finally realize that the future isn't going to be any different. The super-achievers get depressed, on the contrary, after having accomplished just about every thing they had intended to, and eventually coming to the point in their lives when they know that there is nothing else they can or, more important, want to do. The former are suffering from the unappeasable hunger, the latter - from the excessive fullness. 834. One, who was brought up by the loving, kind and attentive parents carries for as long as he lives, as an integral part of his psyche, the eager anticipation and optimistic expectation that everybody else he'd ever meet in his life will be like them - loving, kind and attentive to his needs. The consistency and constancy of such a caring, especially through childhood and early adolescence, also conditions such a person to strongly feel that there must be something very special and good about him to merit it and, consequently, he can't imagine any reasons for treating unfairly and harshly such a love-deserving person as he is. As a result, it usually takes a lot of mistreatment at somebody else's hands for him to be disabused of this illusion. But his disillusionments are very short-lived indeed and limited only to this or that particular abuser. For being an incurable believer in the goodness of all men (in whom he is always looking for the qualities of his loving parents) he meets every new person in his life with the same undiminished expectation of being treated with kindness and care, and is ready to embrace whoever gives the slightest indication that these expectations are about to be fulfilled. On the other hand, the one who grew up in a family where not only love, kindness and attention were in short supply, but, which is even worse, hate, cruelty and disregard for the child's needs were not unfrequent, remains all his life deeply mistrustful of the rest of humanity and, in the extreme cases, downright misanthropic, seeing in everyone his potential tormentor, rather than benefactor. His initial reaction upon encountering anyone he doesn't know yet is to assume the worst, and he needs a lot of convincing by the words and actions of the others toward him to begin to believe they are actually better than expected. But this tentative trust never extends to the humanity at large, and each new person he meets has to convince him anew of being not as bad as the rest and, moreover, to do it on continuous basis and as often as possible. That's why such people seem so capriciously demanding, for they constantly tell others, directly and indirectly, that they should never relax and but prove again and again their good intentions. Thus, the most obliging person is left with a guilty feeling that he can never do enough for them - the suspected potential tormentor is turned into the actually tormented. To sum up, the first type (with a happy childhood) expects, a priori, all men to be good, while the second (with the unhappy one) is equally certain they are all bad, and both have to be repeatedly convinced they are wrong. 835. It must be true t hat "the happy childhood is the worst preparation for being a writer". For in order to write well one has first to learn a lot about people one is going to write about. Yet, bearing in mind, that our learning, especially in the early stage of life, is mostly of a defensive kind - one learns about others as much as needed to protect oneself from them - the sheltered childhood, fortunately for a child, but unfortunately for a future writer, is, understandably, rather limited in such learning opportunities. "Luckily" for me, by being chronically ill and by being a Jew - another incurable ailment, this impediment of the happy childhood has been for the most part removed. I seldom have any illusions about people around me, but, at the same time, having suffered myself, I feel compassion toward everyone, no matter how despicable the person might be. 836. In the final analysis, after all had been said and done, no matter how "realistic" one is, one still cannot completely accept the Reality. 837. Why is it that in today's poetry the choice so often has to be made between the platitudes and emptytudes? 838. I'm fully aware at least of two of my gifts (or curses) - authenticity and sincerity. And the reason I'm so sure about it is that every phony hypocrite I'd ever met couldn't stomach me, as if I was a walking accusation of what he is. 839. To those who claim that high minimum wages are destroying our competitive position in the global market I have a question: how come Canadian or American economy can't afford paying its workers $5-7/hour while paying doctors, lawyers, dentists... $300-500/hour and even more? 840. The contradiction between the philosophical necessity of The Supreme Being to be absolutely and infinitely perfect - omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, etc., and the Christian God who had to "become flesh" to live and suffer like a mortal man in order "to learn" about the pain and suffering of the humanity, had never been satisfactory explained by Christian theologians. For if He "knew", then "becoming flesh" was superfluous and unnecessary, and if He didn't, then He is not omniscient and therefore isn't absolutely perfect, and someone else, who is more perfect than Him, must be The Supreme Being. 841. Of all the wonderful things Man had ever invented or imagined, the Language must be His best creation. |
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