DEPRESSING STUFF - Poetry - http://maxpages.com/nichola/SAD

Heaven
Take me away,
from this garden of evil,
take me to,
a field filled with happyness,
drown out my sorrows,
erase my past,
fulfill my dreams,
with a love that will last,
take me away from awful tommorow,
take me to,
a dream i dream to die.

Jessica Kar0linagrl@aol.com

Sailing

Each day is like the last,
The ever repeating past,
Never relenting,
Always preventing,
What happiness really meant.
Just one day, my wish would be,
To climb aboard a boat,
To sail away and be free.

But dark clouds block my way,
Forcing me to stay,
When the dark clouds fade away,
Revealing the new day,
Something deep inside,
Still brings me to a lonesome sigh.

The secret I posses,
That fills me with distress,
To hard to live on, To hard to be strong,
But not anymore,
I refuse, to fight this war,
The short-lived happy times, is what I cry out for.

The future comes into focus,
And with that unfolds a plan,
To sail away on a boat,
To a far away land.

Sailing away is my way out,
Sailing away is just a word I use to lie about,
Sailing away is just another cover,
So people will not notice, and discover.
Sailing away is my suicide,
That has a hidden meaning deep down inside,
While the waves calm, and begin to yield,
My heart starts to unwind, and heal.

Now for miles the sea is calm,
No more chains, to hold me down.
No more pain, will come around.
From this day forward,
I will be found in the sea,
Sailing the constant waters,
Living free.

Jessica Kar0linagrl@aol.com
Angel

They resemble zombies,
The way they stride,
Trying their best to be another person passing by,
Something much deeper,
Lies in their souls,
And eats them away,
As they stroll,
Neglected and beaten,
Lies in their past,
Having to grow up,
Way to fast,
But in their hearts it will stay,
Until they meet that person,
Who will make it all go away.

Unititled

Among the demons, I leark and hide,
To scared to speak, To scared to sigh,
Trying to cast away there evil, And there pain,
Hoping to put off the hurt, just one more day,
They exist in my dreams, And dwell in my head,
When I wake up, And when I sink into bed,
The fright they bring, So late at night,
Is so hard to fight, But I want give up, I want
give in,
Even if it's like a tall, obstacle, must descend.

Jessica Kar0linagrl@aol.com

SHADOWS (MAY BE ONE IS TWO? I NEED YOU : TWO)
Where did I start it yesterday?
remember now, cold rain, drops on my face
November? December? Not a time for cheaters
A simple dark night as all the others
Just a crying time without an answer

Tonight, just another night
Just another rain
And drops feel my ear again
Just a passing time, no change in the air
Just a struggling time, and no one cares

Tonight, save only those who have reasons to cry
Help what's about to live and not to die
Don't give me your hand, I'm all wet
I don't wanna take you down with me
I just lose at the easiest bet

(Nicolas Philippe)

Broken Hearts

She told me she loved me right out loud.
With out me saying a word or singing a song.
But I was scared to show my feelings so I hung them on a cloud.
I thought it in my heart and knew we did belong.
How could I do this, deny her deep love for me.
I ran like a frightened child from a bad dream.
I have been hurt before, I thought to myself selfishly.
And for this I break our hearts once more.

A.Hart
Hardharted@england.com

TITLE: BROKEN DOLL

I am a broken doll,
Average i am no more,
On the outside i am perfection,
But my heart is bruised and sore,

They call me broken doll.
Because of my broken heart,
My heart broke long ago,
Now it's in two parts,

The only visable sign of hurt,
Is the saddness in my eyes,
No one knows how i feel
My smile is my disguise,

I am a porcelain doll,
With a very broken heart,
My thought's were the weapons that broke it,
Now it's in two parts,

So sweet looking on the outside,
But inside angry and sour,
Why must i watch such tradgedy,
Every day hour by hour?

Placed here on this window sill,
Looking down on the city below,
I see all the maddness and misfourtune,
That the city has for show,

Old ladies bieng mugged and battered,
Children being shot,
Men sleeping in cardboard boxes
In empty parking lots,

Inside my tears are falling,
Continuiusly non stop,
My broken heart get's heavier,
With every single drop,

Inside my broken heart,
Is swimming in my tears,
For it's thinking of the tradgedy,
I've witnessed through the years,

I am a broken doll,
Who'll be broken evermore,
On the outside i am perfection,
But my heart is bruised and sore

by valerie hughes

unbearable pain

in a state of deppression,
i try to clear my mind
sanity is barely visible,
common sense is hard to find
the pain is so unbearable,
sometimes i want to die
all that i can do,
is lay in bed and cry
i need someone to trust,
a true friend
maybe they can help me,
put this suffering to an end
my mind is going blank,
my memory turning hazy
if i don't find somoene soon,
i think i might go crazy
the pain is quickly growing now,
i'm feeling kind of weak
somoene needs to be there for me,
love is all i seek
i look at the shiney blade,
stained by my tears
thinking about life,
and how this would end all fears
i pressed the knife into my wrist,
and watched the blood pour out
my mother came running in,
when she heard my painful shout
but it was too late,
i was going to die
she fell to the floor,
and began to cry
"why?!"she screamed,
"it's better like this."i said
by the time the medics got there,
i was already dead.

By:nicole dominie
Fancie1552@aol.com

Just hold me

Not many have ever known
and if I tell - who would believe?
There's nothing I can call my own
not even the things I have achieved.

It's always better that way
All that is aching inside
It's better for it to stay -
covered up with hurt's pride.

All in good time
I will open the gate
of this little heart of mine
in a moment of fate.

For a soul that's been torn and
a heart controlled by other
there's not much you can do
But to hold me me in your arms -
my dearest Mother.

Written by: BOBETTE BRUWER

DEVILS KISS

Steel, Metal, Sharp
Release my pain.
Everything to gain,
Blood red sins poor out of me.

The throbbing feels good,
Wanting more.
Cutting deeper,
Feeling weaker.

Feeling faint,
Love this game.
Deserving this,
Devils kiss.

Nichola Firth

SUICIDE
Written by: XSykoSidX@aol.com

Every night I sit & cry,
wondering why I'd rather die.
I don't know why I feel this way inside,
I always say it's just my mind.
I can't stand all this pain,
it feels like pouring rain.
Most people say I need help,
but it makes me feel like I'm in hell.
When I look at the razorblade,
I think......look at all the scars I made.
I wonder if the pain will ever end,
But the thoughts in my head wont go away.
Suicide was once a choice for my life,
I choose to roll that dice.
When I choose to stop that dice,
it was to late for my life.
Suicide is now a part of my life,
it is an addiction that won't go away.
This pain cuts deep in to my heart,
I always feel like I'm alone in the dark.
I feel that no one cares if I decay away,
when my boo's helping me every step of the way.
I fooled with the devil,
and sold my life away,
and now I have to pay.

Written by: XSykoSidX@aol.com

Untitled

I quit, it's no use, all efforts in vain
I struggle, I pry, this cage brings me pain
This cage has a lock, a lock with no key
What's in can't escape, forever bound they will be

I've tried with my tounge
The lock to pick, to set them free
But I mumble, I stutter, I stammer
My tounge's not the key

Fingers and wooden cues
I present them in a tune
But nothing's noteworthy
The struggle resumes

My tounge or a tune
These keys always fail
So I try with my actions
Maybe they will prevail

I jerk, I turn, I twist
I do everthing right
But even this key won't fit
I give up the fight

All methods are lost
No more keys exist
They remain locked eternal
In this dark caged abyss

I tear up in a corner of lonliness
My wretched familiar home
Crying out in utter silence
The cage remains closed

Who's got the key, where is it?
These questions frustrate my mind
But such questions are useless
They just waste my time

Written by: jwilkins@kirk.anderson.com

IN THE TRAIN (No Title Yet)

And I'm standing there, thinking things I won't say.
I hear myself and wonder if I'm not someone to slay.
I pray every night in my own way, I have so many wishes.
Bit instead of dreaming, I'd Better focus on putting something in my dishes.

I happen to wonder if I am real, if someone is at my left.
Sin told me to look at the moon but I'm more than straight.
Oh please Sin, give me a key, I want to be in the spin.
Like every one else I got the disease, and I need to cure within.

Her eyes tell me lies but she doesn't, where could I have been?
In the second zone for a trial or somewhere between.
I told her about my darkest thoughts, she told me to clear the way.
I don't understand, I don't want to, with her I want to share the "may".

Lonely train in my lonely veins, the blood can't get through.
There are no leaders or believers, i'm the only one to know the truth.

But I'm so scared.
I'm in the red.
I love the idea of being dead.
So stupid lying in that bed.

Sin gives me light but I stay in the shadow.
There's an elevator but I prefer going below.
Among the bones and the sharp of galsses, I'm in love with the pieces.
I'm not blond, I'm not pure, I just want to please the masses.

I am so dark cuz it's so cool to look in the wrong way.
When I feel well, euphoria tells me to get away.
Oh please, take that hand which leads you somewhere else.
Cuz I stand here and it feels like a real bad taste.

I love the brown, the black and purple, it fills me up.
When I get down, the last thing I want is to get up.
Take me away, get me out of that bed, I'm starting to feel afraid.
I never smile or it's a fake, my thoughts are for the deads.

I took the boat to go down my river of blood.
I used to go deep down inside and every where, I've never seen a god.

I'm such a shame.
I'm the one to blame.
Give me a lame.
Give me a flame.

Written by : Nicolas PHILIPPE

untitled

What's wrong with me
who do I think I am?
What's gotten inside me?
I don't know, but I can't let it out.
One blink and I'm happy
The next blink and I'm sad
Who am I kidding though?
I'm not really happy
It's just the song I like for you to hear... sometimes
The real song is ugly, I don't think you want to hear it
Wait... you do?
No, no you don't, trust me, it hurts my ears to
Do you mind if I ask you a questions?
No, it's not too personal, I'm not a personal guy
Where does your song come from?
I mean, is it real, or just fake and two-sided like mine?
You don't have to answer
Just blow me off like everyone else
I'm used to it, I've even begun to like it now
I like the taste, the taste of pain
To some it's bitter, they quickly spew it out
But me, no, I chew it up and swallow
Say, could I have some more?
Don't pass me your's though
I only eat off my own plate.

Written by: jwilkins@kirk.anderson.com

Loser

If death was so bad.
Why isn't life good?
I've been a stain,
since my childhood.
I'm not a liver,
I'm a dreamer.
A dreamer of a lifeless life.
I have a hope,
I'm a hopeful loser.
I'm a hopeful loser in a hopeless life.
Written By: Lea

No Hope For The Young

Useless or youthless or maybe full of rage, you can't find meaning in
a book with one page...
A hundred years. A hundred tears looking at my fate in a room full of
mirrors.
No hope, hope's with you, my fear is your fear too!

Written by: Lea

"THE STALKING WOLF"
(LUPUS)

THIS DISEASE STALKS ME,
AS IT SLOWLY TAKES AWAY THE LIFE
THAT I ONCE HAD...
NOW I HAVE A LIFE OF PAIN,
BOTH EXTERNAL AND INTERNAL...
I FIGHT A BRUTAL FIGHT EACH AND EVERY DAY
TO BE WHAT SOCIETY CALLS-
"NORMAL".
NO LONGER AM I THE ONE THAT IS FULL OF
"LIFE".
NOW I AM THE ONE FULL OF ANGER AND PAIN.
IF I COULD HAVE MY LIFE BACK TO
BEING THE SAME...
I WOULD-BUT THAT IS A DREAM THAT
IS NOT A PART OF MY LIFE ANYMORE.
SO, NOW I GO ON LIVING AND
SUFFERING
TRYING TO BE
"ME".
THIS STALKING WOLF IS ALWAYS
BEHIND-
IN+FRONT+OF-
BESIDE-
INSIDE...
OF+ME!!!!
THERE+IS+NOWHERE+TO+RUN
AND+THERE+IS+NOWHERE+TO+HIDE
SO NOW MY LIFE IS ONLY
A LIFE OF PAIN,
WHERE I KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER BE THE
"SAME".
I DON'T WANT ANY PITY,
JUST PEACE...
PLEASE, UNDERSTAND AND LET ME LIVE!!!!!
W.CHAFFIN-1999

You Meant So Much

You meant so much to all of us,
You were special and that’s no lie.
You brightened up the darkest day,
And the cloudiest sky.

Your smile alone warmed hearts,
Your laugh was like music to hear.
I would give absolutley anything,
To have you well and standing here

Not a second passes,
When your not on our minds,
Your love we will never forget,
The hurt will ease in time.

Many tears I’ve seen and cried,
They’ve all poured out like rain,
I know that you are happy now,
No longr in any pain.

Nichola Firth

Having Fun

We were just having fun,
We didn’t even think.
We hoped in the car
Right after I had another drink.

I turned up the tunes,
And stepped on the gas.
We had one more drink,
Not knowing it would be our last.

I wasn’t paying attention
And lost all control.
We swerved off the road,
And smashed into a pole.

I didn’t know how this could happen,
I really had no clue.
As I laid there in pain
All I could think about was getting to you.

When help finally arrived,
I heard someone say
“This one is alive,
But the other has passed away.”

I have to live with this for the rest of my life.
Maybe in time the pain will mend,
But I'll still never forget...
I killed my best friend.

By Nicole Runde

what happened?

You just don't understand how I feel inside
And all i can do is sit and cry
Why don't I just run away and hide?

I don't want to have to look into your eye
You have no clue how mad and sad I feel
It kills me that all you think I do is lie

You say you need some time to think, maybe to heal
Can't you just believe me when i say its not true
Do you think the pain I feel isnt real?
Obviously, you dont know how I feel about you

Ya know what, this sucks, and I hope you feel like this too.

-donna

The toys of fears,
the thoughts of mine,
the time goes on,
here is the sign,
of demonic state and demonic mind,
the demon in me is nothingness blind.
of wretched sights of demon breath,
and the wreath of death around my neck.
to close for now,
and snug and fled,
the mens souls off to be led.
an army of death,
and soldiers of light,
the red seeps in and draws a fight,
but then its gone to a place unknown,
nothing of blood and death will be shown.
skulls and wrath of angry state,
and necromancy lies in hate.
ready for death and ready for fire,
the necromancy starts the wire,
flames so tall,
the clan is gone,
and nothingness claims the fall.
so u hear the scream of treachory
and now u know whats inside of me.
and i bellow on in timeless bliss..
of noone... and nothingness...

Written by ZzZGWVCZzZ@aol.com

IS LIFE WOTH LIVING FOR?

is this pain
this hurt
these lies
these secrets
worth living for
should i end it now
with a bullet
with a needle
with some pills
that's the way i want it
me dead and gone

should i
will i
can i
yes, i can
you may ask "what stops you"

cause as long as i can
see your presents
or hear your voice
it's worth all it

Troubled Teenagers

As I lay here alone
All these thoughts come to mind
I seek a place
I know I can't find

A place of comfort
shelter and love
A place created
By the master from above

The thoughts rush in
like never they have before
but noone seems to understand
so I leave them at the door

Oh who could I confine in
When none seems to care
Oh tell me who to turn to
When I'm in such great dispair

Celien Dion is rather sad
I turn it right away
Shes my favorite singer, you see
But I just cant take it to day

Marilyn Manson, suicidal
Whatever shalll I do
Oh tell me friend you will be there
I put my trust in you

SAD

I sit here alone,
If I were talking, I'd moan.
I feel like a cry,
But I'm too sad to try.
I feel so weak,
Am I a freak?

Nichola Firth

POEMS TO CRY AT... CLICK ON THE TEAR

ALONE, SAD, BORED, USED

Sad, alone and bored.
Give anything to be adored

Alone, bored and used
Not feeling very amused.

Bored used and upset,
Do anything for a pet.

Used, Upset and crying,
Fed up of even trying.

Upset, crying and needing you,
Got nothing else to do.

18.11.98
Nichola Firth

STRESS

I’m really stressed,
You can’t believe.
I’m feeling sick,
I want to grieve.

I want to go home
Btu I can’t.
I want to be alone
But work won’t let me part.

I’m sick of coffee
And the computer screen.
I’m sick of this desk.
I want to scream.

My head is pounding,
I want to shout.
Tell every one
I want to get out.

Nichola Firth
19.11.98

STEP-DAD

His step-dad hits him,
I wonder why?
They way he smacks him,
His screams, so high.
The way he shouts at him,
The way he starts to cry.
The way he pushes him,
I bet he wants to die.
'Get out of here' he shouts at him,
Why does he go and say 'bye?'
Then the way he looks at him,
I feel sorry for the guy.

Nichola Firth

BAD HAIR

I am having a bad hair day.
It looks really sad.
I can tell you what it looks like,
Except it's really sad.

It's as frizzy as a bush,
And is the colour of straw,
It is knotty when I brush,
And pulling makes my scalp raw.

Nichola Firth

RAIN DROP WATCHING

Rain falls from the sky,
Hitting my window,
The sounds make me feel calm, peaceful.
The rain makes tracks
Like tears down an old mans face.
They are all racing to get into the pool on my window sill.
I can see the rain drops,
As they all collide together.
The circle gets bigger.
I am content and happy,
Lost in my own world.

Nichola Firth

“BORED”

I am so very sad,
This miserable weather makes me feel bad.

There’s nothing to do, it’s cold outside,
I look as though, someone has died.

I just can’t think of anything to do,
I try to happy, but I’m feeling so blue.

I play solitaire and domino’s alone,
But it’s so boring, I sigh and I groan.

Sitting down, I listen to the rain,
I feel so unhappy, it leaves me in pain.

I want better weather, I want to see sun,
Give me a bullet, and lend me a gun.

I feel so week and tried too,
This is how I feel, when I’m not with you.

Nichola Firth
Nov '98

POEMS TO CRY AT... CLICK ON THE TEAR

BOREDOM

'Do you want another cup of tea?'
'Go on, I mights as well'
'Is there anything on TV?'
'No, just Saved by the bell'

'What do you fancy doing then'
'Theres not much to do'
'Come on think of something Ben'
'I don't know, it's up to you'

'What did you do yeasterday?'
'Nothing much, I stayed in bed till late'
'Isn't it your sisters birthday in May?'
'Yes, but she's going away to Bultlins with her mate'

'So I take it we're not invited then'
'I bet you couldn't afford to go'
'Anyway she'll want to be with her men'
'God! Today isn't half going slow'

'Want another cup of tea?'
'No I'll have a coffee'
'Ahhh yes I got some yeasterday, buy one get one free'
'Do you want a toffee?'

'Go on then I mights as well'
'What we going to do?'
'Come on think of something'
'I don't know it's up to you'

Nichola Firth

Here--"The unexplained reasons, the never answer why." Written by SaDeeDollz@aol.com

Tears of misunderstanding flow to the surface,
Setting the tone for this cursed event.

Anguish shrieks from her mind to her body,
Betrayal raging through the thoughts of the child,
Tragedy is her first resolution
To end the breech of her own personal violation.

Pain seeps across her self-inflicted wound,
Regret flows into the body, the mind, the

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Page Updated Fri Apr 27, 2001 6:28am EDT