Poetry by Chris Pesce - Send your comments to - Owell97@aol.com - Poetry

MOUNTAIN WIND

Where to go...nothing to show...
Much like a lost crow...
Mountian wind a blowing..
Still dont know where ...im going....
Would love to take you there...
Give you something to share....
You will be my only one...
And for this i am all done...
Still dont know where im going
Just know the mountian winds a blowing...
So you see i have no clue....
But you know im feeling blue....
You know it is you i miss...
And the taste of your kiss....
There is no one i am showing...
Just me and the mountian wind a blowing
I only want you to care...
For it is my soul that i bare...
Give me one wish...
For you are my favorite dish....
Then i would be glowing...
Like the mountian wind is blowing...
Cherish these days today...
May they never go away....

ANGEL

Certian things in life we hold dear....
I keep you close and up front in heart....
Never to let you be moved to the rear...
Never to let you fall apart...
This I do for my own sanity...
Hoping it will be held high in the end...
Try not to be concerned with vanity...
It is my own soul and love I lend...
Someone will always watch over you....
Now and forever in peace...
Its a picture of you my mind once drew...
Hopefully this will never cease...
Our judgment is so clouded...
By what I do not know...
This world is way too crowded...
Its puts on quite a show...
Very few stand out to me...
Wish I could see past my desire...
This is the way it has to be....
Until someone puts out the fire...
Our memories will win the show...
Always to me a happy one....
Leaving such a bright afterglow...
And a smile when day is done...
I write for me and you....
How I feel the world to see....
But this you always knew....
And once it brought you glee...
I think it will again someday...
When time says it is right...
Hopefully well before doomsday...
Before I see the light...
Please be well my love...
Always standing strong....
When push comes to shove...
You will never be in the wrong....
I will be the angel on your shoulder...
For I will always be very near....
Making sure you become no colder...
Making sure you live without fear...

So the stars tell me to take the hint....
Only i know what they mean....
It is anything but mint!!!
The upside remains to be seen....
I guess i should obide...
Well how could they be wrong?
Just doesnt feel right inside....
God its been so long....
I think i am alright...
My dog he is so funny....
He try's with all his might
And keeps my days sunny....
I think the gods sent me him...
To replace what was lost...
Keep my days from being dim...
Make sure my heart does not frost...
A part of me is still gone...
This i will have to admit...
From darkness and till dawn...
Only i will give a shit...
I wish i could put it in reverse...
Change time all around....
Hoping we wouldnt be so diverse...
And could share the same ground....
I guess i am just dreaming...
Cause nothing ever comes true...
This the way it is seeming...
My life without you....

Writing for a reason.....
Seems to make me feel good....
Doesnt matter what the season...
Think it should?
There is a problem on my mind...
Which brings me to this ryme....
No awnsers will i find....
But it sure passes time....
All i want to do is talk...
But i keep being denied...
So i choose a long walk...
And it hurts inside...
I dont know whats wrong with me...
Nothing seems to help...
Is this the way it should be?
I said with a yelp...
Thought everyone wanted to be loved...
Greatest gift you could give...
All i get is shoved...
Makes it so hard to live...
The years go by and by...
Like yesterday it seemed...
Making me more and more shy...
Not like the day we dreamed...
A day you fell asleep on me...
One i can not forget...
Thats the way they all should be...
Like the time we met...
That day was so unreal...
Though it didnt show on my face...
Everything was surreal...
Today there is no trace...
Does anyone even care?
About the way i feel inside...
It seems so very rare....
And difficult to hide....
I just want it to matter...
Its all ive ever asked....
My heart is all you shatter...
For it has been unmasked....
So on you it all depends...
Where we go from here...
I want to make amends...
Please try my dear....

LAST DAY

Our last day together...
You left in pain..
unimpressed with the weather..
It Drove me insane.
I thought i would see you again...
Didnt know it was the last day...
Even with all my beggin...
You still say no way....
I know you wanted to be alone...
And my head agreed for that day...
Feeling like a drone...
Didnt know what to say....
My heart won the war...
Went all down hill from there...
I became a total bore...
Just me and my tear...
Wanted you to know how i feel...
Didnt accomplish my feat...
Wanted to show you whats real...
Unaware we would not meet...
Everything still unclear...
Seeing through a blur...
Trying to live without fear...
And the absence of her...
There arent words to express...
My feeling of distress....
Mabye if i had cupids bow...
I wouldnt have missed the show...
Everythings become a mess....
Not how i dreamed it to be...
Should have been a wedding dress...
In the future for you and me....
I miss you with all my heart...
Wish everything could be aliright...
Never wanted to be appart...
Prayed with all my might...
They say it has its reason...
So i continue to grow....
Still feels like treason...
1 2 3 in a row....
Its all so unresolved....
This life i will have to repeat....
Our bond has disolved...
And my heart fears retreat...
Love flowed from my eyes...
When i gave you a stare...
The kind that never dies...
The kind that you always share...
My actions did not express....
And for this i regret....
If this i could just regress....
I beleive we would be all set...
So special we were to me...
If this you could just see...
I think of you every day...
Always something needed to say...
A path we need to find....
To help complete our fate...
One we should not mind...
One we should not hate...

SUBLIME

Inside my realm,inside my head...
Is where i cannot go to bed...
Its in my eye and in my dream...
No escape is the way it may seem...

Through the passage i must go...
To her door is where i will row...
It becomes hard to swallow...
Is this the path im not to follow?

Everywhere i look its all i see...
Is this the way it has to be?
Where is the real one may i ask?
This has been my greatest task...!

Keep my distance like a good boy...
Now making me extremely coy!!
When i ask will be my time?
This is anything but sublime!!

Trying not to show a frown...
Feeling as if i may have drown...
But who would know except for you...
What makes me smile,makes me blue...

We only seem to diverge...
Not letting our souls splurge...
Lets put it to an end...
Only my heart left to mend!!

Can you help me with this feat?
On the 29th day would be a treat...
Hope my angel is to listen...
Make my dreams shine and glisten...!

THE FOOL

With the endless quiet inside the heart...
All around becomes mute,meaningless and dull!!!
Existance goes by..like a sileint movie...
Deaf to the nerves so sensitive,torn and numb!!!!
It waits to be awakened and alive....
Played like a beautiful symphony,loud and clear!!!
It beats rapidly..but the eyes just stare into fear...
Disgused as the horizon...bright and glowing!!!
Drawing me oh so ever near....
I dont ever wanna feel like i did that day!!
Yesterday,today,tommorow,no more sorrow....
Expelled,forgoton,banished from my world!!!
Its the heart i am not to follow....
Lead me to a new earth..one with sound!!
Let me feel the sun and beauty it can offer...
Is what i am asking that profound?
Seeing it with black eyes...why bother!!!
In the illusion...this is not the life...
But just a moment,a seconed,a day!!!
When the one supposed to be my wife...
Showed her face upon the suns ray!!!
With one huge gulp..i swallow my pride...
Letting myself feel the pain inside!!!
No more to follow...with a heavy foot i rule...
Only the best will come...signed the FOOL!!!

Next Time

I can not see..I can not hear...
Only sensation is to evolve
Now and forever without fear...
Tis the immortal i must solve!!!

My spirit has not died..
It is all i can feel
Although it has cried...
I illude what is real!!!

So when i return...
You will see past my eyes
For my love will ever burn...
It never dies!!

This vision seems so trifle...
Deep within it lyes
Wont be solved with a rifle...
Can't be hidden with a disguise!!!

You will see yourself...
When you enter the third plane
What you may discover...
your time has been so vain!!!

Learn your lessions...
Be forever warm and kind
Lives are but sessions...
Ones we should not mind!!!

Obsessive as it may seem...
My questions only i understand
One day i will wake from this dream...
And our bond will become bland!!

Wish you could help me...
Wanting to be okay
Not the way it is to be...
So i shall just sit and pray!!

If you should decide..
We could be as one
For then i shall obide...
And this struggle will be done!!!

This time will come...
Maybye not as myself
I will no longer be a bum...
And taken off the shelf!!

So see you in that time of bliss...
In a time not so low
As i may not be known as chris...
But my love will forever grow!!!

CONFUSION

As life settles into a state of confusion,
i found myself lost into a world
of fantasy. Something once real,
only to turn into dreams,
mental pictures and memories.
The memory of a facial expression has brought a tear to my cheek and an ache to my chest.
Who has the cure for this ache? where is the vacine so
desperatly needed to mend this open wound?
The mind is a powerful tool of the human body,
but the heart attached to emotion remains as mysterious as ever.
The desire to be free flows in my blood more intensly then ever now.
To be free from social expectations,free from society's judgements and restrictions.
Most of all to be free from emotion,
pain and unfilled desires.
There are no neon lights guiding the path to this state of scerenity and inner peace.
The path remains dark and very unclear.
If only the previous travelers would have lit a candle i wouldn't be so lost.

Destiny

Life’s experience, everyday seems to be a curvy road with no end in sight. And
With every cross coming a decision...we ask will it be the right one or the
Wrong one? Is there a right or wrong one? Once its made.will we suffer the
Repercussions or will we be rewarded with happiness...maybe we will just be
Content...is this what they call destiny? Is destiny controlled by our
direction..Our choices...why is it destiny can often feel so very wrong? And
If it is destiny...does it make it right? Can’t it be changed?
Often our lives can be controlled by others destiny’s or others decisions. How
Do we keep there destiny from changing ours....maybe we cant. Maybe its one
big destiny and not the individual one like we perceive. If it is , should we
even bother making decisions? Just to keep fighting that battle of control.The
never ending battle to do what we feel is right.
People use the term destined love, how do we know that the love our actions
destroy is not our destined love?maybe we are capable of the destruction of
our own destiny....

DEVOTION

I would cherish your every breath
Adore any motion your body invokes.....
Caress your soul's every pain
And mitigate any physical agony you endure....

I will devote myself to your every desire
And saturate you in endless passion....
To place you on an eternal pedistal
And be at your side in times of despair....

I want to hold your hand in affection
Feed your spirits hunger for devotion....
Feel the sweetness your lips possess
And the warmth you hold under your chest...

So i hold you up high...with the moons and the suns
More beautiful than the glow upon the oceans.....
You will be my atmospher, my world
There will be no silence of my love
All entity's will know of my destiny!!!

EUTHANASIA

Reaching for euthanasia
To find escape from the confabulation within myself...
Her eyes pierce my soul
Leaving undesired ...yet unregreted wounds...
The immortal beast that exsist under the souls lining
Presents no compassion for the munificent one......
In my deep unconsciousness during the dark
Illusions of beauty feed my sanity...
Muse fills my lighted hours...
With our hands on the slate...it will melt
One hand invites a split.
Must we persist in our desires?
The intrusion into her life is my conviction...
Time will be my solace
And the beauty will sit in the sea till the tides call er...
Euthanasia will not prevail...
The soul lives on!!!!!!
And so says the maddness...
I will dance again

JADE

The vision of an enchantress
She gave me her smile...without hesitation...
unselfish aroma fills the air like an ocean breaze
throwing my consciousness into disarray....!!!

I saw the pearly whites...the gate to her soul
behind the glare were eyes of jade...melting my heart.....
with hair of gold and skin of copper
i truely see a beauty to be treasured..!!!!

Our self created destiny arrises again!!!!
to where it shall lead us... is an unlit path....
but one can only dream...when i arrive
my exsistance, my reality and my world
will be filled and consumed with!!!!!
JADE!!!!!

PARK

Thoughts of you fade to dark
While i sit here in griffith park...
Screams from within echoing in my head
I just wish to feel you in my bed...
Externally having a veiw of many
Internally i see only one!!!
You say ,I dont want any!!!!!!!!
Yet you have someone!!!!
Which way is it from here?
All i see is down!!
I can not shed a tear...
And will not express a frown!!!
Smile is what i will do
Fear not the future...
I will remain in love with you!!!
Until they cut the suture..
Things are coming to and end
With no view around the bend...
I will see you again one day!!!
When someone shows me the way....

ONE DAY!!

As i reflect on the past....
Things mumbled haunt my existance
The evolution of my world is slow and uneven....
could this be the path to my demise?
We surely hope not!!!!
I find my escape in the sound of the water hitting the hand...
The smell of her spirit
Taste of her skin...
And heat of the touch!!
The absence of this is undoubtably extreme
With a deep sigh.........an exhausted breath....
The desire bubbles over the rage
I engross my thoughts with an open mind...
Looking for the tolorance to accept them!!!!
Cast out bitterness,regret and false perceptions
Just smile i say....smile with the sea!!!
At the close...We live!!!!!...........
It will return....

OUT OF SORTS!!

out of sorts....feeling lost in the infinity of life.
Must have been a wrong
turn somewhere..mabye a forced turn....where is it bringing me? Back to that
endless thought of destiny and desires....who really has the control here?how
is one supposed to fill there destiny and desires when they seem to depend
upon other peoples actions....is that under my control? should i be forced to
create new desires and look for a new destiny?doesnt seem to fair...
guess life isn't fair though...there is a reason for everything i tell my self
but in the end i dont seem to beleive it.....we seem to bend over backward to
keep what we love ....but it always leaves anyway....it dies ,it walks away,it changes....
the once innocent world we trusted has turned
ruthless,cold and dark...
someone once said...i have learned not to worry about love;but to honor its
coming with all my heart...what happens when your heart turns to fear love?
I have discovered ,then life seems alot less enjoyable...guess we need to
train our minds and hearts not to rely on love for it is a very unstable
emotion which can have more power then one can often handle with pride....
It seems a shame to accept things this way but where is the alternate route?
what can we actually depened on in life?ourselfs ...mabye not even that...

I guess its all going to come down to how we choose to look at life and how we
perceive the goods and evils of our time...i guess thats where the control
lies...
in our perception!!!!!!!!

SMILE!!

looking for my smile....i check my pockets only to find numbness...it seems
to have vanished...but how far could it travel?mabye my soul has lost that
intense battle for inner peace...seems it has come to rely on another soul to
forefill its
dieing need for nurture....In this time of despair we need to find a way to
pull that
smile....pull it from that deep cavern burried under all the rubble that our
exsistance dumps on us....
so i wonder is being without things we love and desire vital to our happiness?
Also without an inner sense of happiness and peace how are we to catch
possitive attention of other souls?seems we shall only attract more misery!!!
If only people could understand..that this happiness lies within ourselfs and
when even passing a saddened and dieing spirit there should be no judgment for
in that
spirit there is a smile...a smile just waiting to be found,held and
cherished....
If you should find this smile..protect it with an intesity not to be matched
cause for once it is stolen, it becomes a never ending battle to find its
return...
there it is a much larger loss and hurt to have had it once... then to lose
it..
Becomes an endless pain of missing and searching...well compared to that of
the mother of a missing child!!!
wish i could find my smile again............

THE WALL!!

As they grasp for sanity...
Looking for the means of self evolution
brisk sereneness blows in with the wind...
leaving them with lack of sibilty
It is cold,damp and dark...
When it rides by on its white horse!!!
dropping a trail of false perceptions...
And a scent of faculty
We run for the mountians....
Drown in the sea..
Look for that cover ...and
Engross the wall with all our being
Now back in a state of sentient....
We are sheildless from the enternal clutch
Claw at the soil and rock...
And be excepted into the virgin breeze
Enjoy it for a time...
For the time will be short
We will become the wall...again and again....
Until the wall becomes us
Could this be our reality?

RAIN

Down comes the rain...
With blood on his face
Lets stop all this pain...
And keep up the pace!!!
Heal thy wounds...
Mend the scars
Look to the moons...
Search through the stars!!
Here it lies..
Within the deep
Can't here its cry's...
Not even a peep!!!
Death from within...
What a painful way to go
No sensation in the box..
Cant feel the final blow!!!
Keep me locked inside...
Dont ever let me out
This way i shall obide...
And never make you pout!!!
Forgive me for my sin...
Wash all the hurt away
I am jealous of your kin...
For they have all day!!!
Wish i could make amends...
Make everything alright
I guess it all depends...
On who wins the fight!!
Passed onto the next life...
Theres a bright flash
I see my to be wife..
Wearing a beauty queens sash!!
Everything will be alright..
As i am told by the light
No more need to fight...
Its time to say goodnite!!!

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Page Updated Thu Apr 29, 1999 6:39am EDT