CHAPTER 6
Two months passed by, everything went smooth just like the way it used to be. Finn never told anything about the tragedy. She never discussed with anybody else but to her computer. Estella did not question her, but she could know it by reading what Finn has written on the computer. As now Estella and Bobby stayed in Finn’s apartment. Finn didn’t noticed that Estella used to read her computer. Estella just want to know what was on Finn’s mind, her expectations and desires, and to adjust it with her treatment to meet Finn’s expectations. But Finn never mentioned again about her desire to have the intercourse with Estella, after that tragedy. By reading the file, Estella also knew the one who made this tragedy and what did happened. And also knew that, Finn never brought this case to the police either to a lawyer, just because she loves Estella very much, and did not want to do any harm to her prestige. And it might consequenced of another cruelty would happened to them. Finn mentioned a lot how much she loves Estella. And she tried to face this life in peace and serenity. Estella always tried to understand, even though till now, she had not yet the chance to have the intercourse with Finn. She desired it so bad, but she waited for Finn to do it right away as she really want to make it. Estella wouldn’t forced her, afraid of appearing Finn’s trauma on doing bad experience of the intercourse. She kept trying to Thank god for everything she has got from now and then. Just having this life together with Finn had made all the more appreciative for Estella.
Airin and Nadya paid a visit sometimes, though airin never spent the night there anymore. They used to spend the moments together, and Estella would not be worried much about their existence, As she knew it already, that nobody was in Finn’s heart besides her.
One day in the evening, when Finn was not going back to home, Estella read Finn’s diary surprisingly,
My Day,
I have a complete life, though we have not yet done the intercourse. I am so happy. But I wish I could surrender myself to my soul just like I did in the past. But it seemed, I was dirty for her, I was feeling that I am an appropriate person to give her the complete satisfaction because I was already being disgraced and embarrassed. I guess, indeed I am becoming more trauma to have the intercourse with man, but never with her.
In every night I sleep with her, the desires come across and I was controlling them till seemed I am going a half to death. Even if I stay close to her, smelling her fragrance, her existence, touching her skins, feeling the warm of her hug, her breath, it aroused me badly. But It should be abandoned by my feeling guilty of being dirty infront of her.
There’s smoething changed in my body within these days, I went to the doctor on te day before yesterda, and have it checked. You know what ? the doctor told me that I was Pregnant ! You hear me ? PREGNANT!
I was confused ! and think a lot what should I do ! I know I was being raped, but I realize that I should not blame on the baby comes to my womb ! in addition, I am extremely hope to have a baby. So I decide to not to make any abortion to my child.
I have considered to leave and give myself a try to handle this thig alone. Today, I have arranged it almost completely. Starting from my job, the ticket, the place I would be there at, everything, but not to tell my soul !. I just don’t know how.
I will grant all I have here to my soul and my lovely son, Bobby. Hope he will grow up so tough so that he will be able to assist and guard her mother.
Once again in my life, I have to loose my chance of having my true-love which has almost been on my hands. I have to go so soon, before the stomach grow wildly bigger and bigger. And I will be the one who always keep my soul busy and tired taking care of me.
The day after tomorrow, will be the day I have to leave. And Tomorrow will be the last chance for me to tell my soul. Keep praying for me....I will leave you to her, My day. Treat her good for always as I always do. To share the feeling that I love her so…
Estella was extremely sad to read all those written on the computers. She was dumb founded knowing that Finn would leave her. The more sad when she realized how much Finn actually extremely desired to share the love together, and make it come true, to achieve the satisfaction of love-exploration as highest as possible it would be. How Finn always desired to be at the moment of tranquility of enjoyment. “Oh Jesus Christ, How couldn’t I feel it so soon ?” said Estella to herself. She kept thinking so hard to what she would do after Finn was home. She went out from the bed room and looked around to Finnd Bobby, he must be at his room, the room he used to use now was completely his. Estella thank God because she saw Bobby had slept already, it was 7.30pm, maybe he was exhausted of spending his time playing around with his friends in neighborhood. She was turning off the lights and closing the door when Finnally Finnerella came home. Estella welcame her and hugged her so tight. “Tired enough, Finn ?” asked Estella walked beside her. “Yeah, a lil bit” Finn answered. She looked and smiled at Estella, then sat at the sofa. “I will make you a glass of iced-moccachino, okay ?” said Estella. She went to the kitchen and came back so soon with a glass of moccachino. “You looked so happy today, Estella, what’s up ? is your salary increased or what ?” asked Finn just like the way she usually speak to Estella, so plain but quite warm. Finn enjoyed the moccachino “nope!” she answered. “Hmm it is great moccachino Estella”, said Finn. “Now, it’s better for you to freshen up, come on” instructed Estella pulling her hands to stand up and walk to the bath room inside their bedroom.
Estella put off all Finn’s clothes in the shower, and so was hers. “What’s going on Estella ?” asked Finn. “nothing ! just want to bathe you !” replied Estella. Finn was aroused but she tried to control it. “Oh come on Estella..” said Finn further to see them now both naked already under the shower of warm water. Estella hold her close, so close and tights. Estella’s body move away slowly making a slow dance. Finn then followed the move, and hold her back. Estella was loosen herself and started to bathe her. She caressed Finn’s body carefully and full of enjoyment, and Finn tried to do the same. They Finnished and towel their body together and went out from the bathroom. Estella pushed her to the bed and lied Finn’s body to the bed. “Oh my lovely Estella, let me tell you something” Finn begged her in order to avoid of making loe with her and controlled herself. “No need,” she replied and kept continuing kissing her in abundance. “Oh please, Estella, I need to wake up early tomorrow morningm because I have to go out of town tomorrow evening” Said Finn and stood up back. Estella followed her “You lie, Finn! I’ve read all the notes you always written on your folder of My day” said Estella. Finn surprised and Estella used the moment to move her lips on Finn’s ear and wisphering her, “Please Finn, don’t leave me, I‘ve kept my desires so long just like you did, let us have the chance to blow it out together, I have been being patient of waiting for your touch ! Finn. Please be the child to be mine, she or he would be ours ! and now we make it to come true !” She begged. “Oh Estella…” before she could Finnished, Estella swung around to her, placing her Finngers against her lips as she did. Giving a quick, almost imperceptible toss to her hair, she let her head arch backward so that her prud black mane hung down from her shoulders. She slid her hands around Finn’s neck. With deliberate, tantalizing slowness, she pressed her body into Finn’s, her pelvis thrust hard and demanding against Finn’s groin, her lean and muscled thighs driven taut against Finn’s own rigid limbs. For a moment they stood clinging to each other like that, bodies pressed together in the first glorious intimations of their passion.
Her mouth reached up for Finn’s, her long sensual lips enfolding Finn’s in their cool vise. They stayed that way for what seemed like ages , seeking each other in each indulation of their lips, in each sensuous twist of their interlocked bodies. Estella leaned back as Finn’s Finngers began to comb her hairs. Finn lowered her head, pressing her lips onto the skin at the base of Estella’s throat, Finn’s arms around Estella’s waist drawing her tighst against the urgent of her pssion. Gently at first, then with an almost savage fenzy, Finn’s lips and tongue nibbled the skins of Estella’s neck, her earlobes, her shoulders.
Finn drew back, holding Estella’s head inches from hers. The eyes locking to each other in hungry communions. Hips and legs pressed together as though in unconscious effort not to jar the magnetic field binding them together, they turn and plunged across the room to the bed Finn’s hand cupped over the tremulous breasts she had coveted for hours, caressing them, lightly twisting their nipples.
Estella’s Finngernails ran with chill swiftness along Finn’s chest down to Finn’s body, and for an instant her Finngernails dallied provocatively over the skin of Finn’s inner thighs. Then her Finngers slid with possessive hunger onto the prize the sought, grasping Finn with a strength tha make mutual frenzy,, they both began to tear off their remaining bits of towel.
She lay back down on the bed, her hair spilled in a black halo over the pillow. Finn knelt above her, studying in hungry rapture her breasts, her lean stomach, the arching of her long legs. Finn’s lips bent to her navel, but her hands caught the side on Finn’s head.
“Now, Finnerella” she commanded. “Now!”. Finn bent his her knees and thrust her almost painfully rigid seduction toward the opening of Estella’s thighs. Estella gave a low moan of anticipation and rolled her hips up to meet Finn’s. With a deft move, she drew Finn down toward the chambers of her body. Tantalizingly slowly, Finn slid her Finngers into her, then , with each forward thrust, pulled back, pausing for an excruciating second as though She might deny her forever the culmination she demanded before thrusting forward again, harder and deeper.
Estella writhed and struggled at each diabolitical thrust, Finn moved down her lips in a hurry in combining Estella’s passion of seduction, She found the things that they sought, for more and tongue had clicked to the perfect point, she started to lick seductively, on and on, until Finnally Estella let out a sharp cry. She threw her arms around Finn’s head and with one snapping thrust pulled Finn into her, driving her own pelvis up against Finn’s, locking them in a curving of purest pleasure. They held together there in rigid ectasy for the longest and shortest second mortals live. Finnally, fluttering with spent sensuality, hEstella’s hips sank back to the bed, drawing Finn down with her in her descent. For minutes they lay there like that, forcing the few last spasms of pleasure from each other, Finn staying inside her as long as Finn could as if by doing so Finn might somehow preserve the spell that had just united them.
Finnally , Finn rolled over and reached for a cigarette in t on the table beside the bed. For a long while, Estella lay there beside Finn studying the swirfls of Finn’s cigarette smoke disappeareing into the darkness, thinking about this woman with whom she’d just made love so spontaneously and so passionately. The woman in her dreams. She had been wanting him for so long. And just then they blow it out together. The desires have grown so fast in a hunger. Now they could see their future of their relationship in dreams near enough infront of their view. They could reach and achieved it, as the struggled to have these dreams had become so hard and used to swifted away by the storm.
“Please don’t leave me, Finn” said Estella so soft in cry. Finn stopped the cigarette and hold Estella back in the bed. She slid over under cover and caressed Estella’s hair so lovely while Estella lay down her head on her arms. . “I love you so, Estella, love you so..” said Finn simply but deep enough to mean it. “So you need not to leave, Finn, we have it already. And build our family together, we will face the storms and tempest altogether, in happiness and sorrow. We will face it together” said Estella. “We will see tomorrow, Estella” Finn replied. They were just lying down on the bed but they could not sleep at all, seemed that they did not want to loose the time even just one second in their life by falling a sleep. They spent all night long together in awake, talking one to another and exploring the love so slowly and at the longest relieve…more and more.
The next morning, They were having their breakfast together. Bobby as usual, was ready to go to school. “Mom, who will bring me to school today ?” asked Bobby. “I will, Bobby,” said Finn. “No, But we both will” revised Estella. “Wow, this must be a great day for us,” yelled Bobby. Finn and Estella gave him a smile. They were going together to Bobby’s school and then went back to the apartment. Bobby will went back home with the private school bus, as Estella had registered him to join the bus. So that they didn’t need to pick him up after school.
“Sweetheart, will you go to the office today ?” asked Estella as if Finn already decided to not to leave her today. “Yes, but I will accompany you to your office, Estella” Finn answered. Estella felt so happy that Finn would go to work as usual, and it meant that Finn would not leave her anymore. Finn came to Estella and hold her from the back. She smell Estella’s hair and reached the neck with her lips and caressed by her tongue. To the ears, Finn wishpered, “I love you Estella, from the beginning to no ends, with all my heart, body and souls”. Estella turn around and hold Finn so tight. “I can’ t live without you Finn. And I want to loose our chance no more” she replied. “I will have a baby, Estella” said Finn. “I know!, we, Finn, we will have the baby together” protested Estella. “Yeah, She or he could be ours” agreed Finn.
Having Finnished prepared all the things for work, they were going to the office together, Finn brought Estella to her office, and kissed her so tenderly. “I love you so Estella, forget it don’t” said Finn. “Will you pick me up in the evening Finn ?” said Estella worrily, she was afraid of not being able to see Finn again. “Yes, You will be” she answered. Estella smiled at him and kissed her back. “I love you Finn, see you!” said Estella and got off the car, and Finn left her at the time she had come into the office, disappeared.
It was the last days for Finn in the office, Nadya had set a farewell party for her. Nadya felt so symphaty to Finn, There was some time in the past that had crossed in her minds to be able to be someone special for Finn. Finn was different from other people she met already in her life. She did not know what had made it so different, but to what she experienced to feel, she was always feel secure to be with Finn, she was always happy and be treated by her so gentle and appreciative as a woman. She had ever been afraid of falling in love with her, as this feeling was not allowed to their culture and as she had never been having this kind of feeling at all, until She met Finn. Finn was also a good boss for her. She never got angry, but always talked the inconvenient things wisely from heart to heart. She was also so mature and gentle. Nadya admired her a lot, and at the time she admitted that Finn was someone she was falling in love with, Estella came back to Finn’s life. At the beginning, she was a lil bit upset of this condition, and lost of hopes, But she tried to face it and considered it wisely, she was feeling so glad to let the one she love reached her dreams to come true.
The party was over in the afternoon, and Airin came to pick her up to bring her to the airport as Finn had arranged it the day before. Arrived at the airport, they have to wait for the flight to depart. “My lovely Airin, I have to thank you for all the things you have done for me, I wish I could have spend more time with you, my best friend !,” said Finn. “I should thank you too, Finn. You deserve to have good people around you, since you have made others’ people day so wonderful” said airin. Finn sighed, “I hope to be able to see you again, airin” She said. “you will Finn, we will” She replied. “would you please do me a favour once more, airin/” asked Finn. “Certainly, Finn, what is it ?” asked airin. “Would you please pick Estella from the office this evening at 6.30, as I promised already, and give this letter to her” asked Finn giving her an envelope. “Yes of course” said Airin. “Thanks Airin you are so nice” said Finn. ‘You’re welcome” replied airin. “Just wait here, Let me check the departure schedule” said Finn. She was back in a moment and told airin, “The departure is postponed for an hour from the previous schedule, It means that maybe I have to wait 2 or more hours to go, it’s better for you to leave me, so that you won’t be late to pick Estella up, airin” said Finn. “Okay then, I wish you luck Finn, and take good care of your self. Don’t forget to send me any news about you” she said. “I will, airin, and thanks for being such a very nice friend of mine” Finn kissed herforehead and cheecks. “Okay, Finn, bye, till we meet again” greeted airin. Finn watched her leaving and took a deep breath.
Estella ran out from the office and went closer to Finn’s car who had waited for her infront of the office. But she slowed down her step at the time she knew there was only Airin inside the car. She got into the car in a hurry and asked Airin, “Where is she, airin ?”. “She is leaving Estella, I am so sorry, Finn asked me to pick you up, and give you this letter to you” airin answered carefully. Estella shouted, “Oh God ! No.. please don’t!” she cried a lot and the tears flew down heavily. “Where will she go, airin ?” asked Estella in weak. “Maybe she is still at the airport, if you would like to meet her” suggested Airin. Estella didn’t read the letter and commanded airin, “okay then, hurry to the airport” asked Estella. Airin started to drive the car faster and tried to reach the airport soon. “Where will she go, Airin ?” asked Finn. “I have traced the information from nadya, as she arranged the ticket to go, but nadya was not so sure she know the actual place Finn chose to stay, as she was ordered to arranged the ticket to Singapore only, Finn maybe arrange the further trip there, in Singapore” She answered. “Oh Jesus Christ, please …” She said desperately.
They arrived at the airport and looked around the airport, but she could not Finnd Finnerella there. They asked to the officer and given the answer that the flight to Singapore had departed 10 minutes ago. Estella felt so weak, and began to cry again, She was almost falling down to earth unless Airin took her directly. She guided Estella and led her to got back to the car. “It’s okay Estella, she promised to send the news thru email,” said Airin to cool down Estella.
On the way back home, Estella didn’t say anything, she kept on memorizing all the things she had together with Finn. She knew the reasons why Finn remains left her, She convinced Finn to stay and gave her support. Seemed all of her soul flew away, she was frustrated. And when Airin sent her home, she asked airin to leave her alone and just say thanks to her for everything she had done for her.
Estella sent Bobby to sleep, Bobby did not understand why her mum felt so blue and so sad. “Where is Mummy Finn, Mom ?” asked him. “She had gone for a while Bobby, we will wait for her, someday we will be together again” said Estella. Then she let Bobby to sleep.
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