CHAPTER 5.
Airin was in the hospital and tried to dial the phone number of Estella, The phone was answered, “Hello, This is Estella” said the woman on the line. “Hello, Estella, this is Airin” Said Airin. “Yes, what’s up ?” asked Estella. “Finn is being hospitalized” infomed Airin. Estella was dumbfounded at that time and could say nothing. She forced herself to asked Airin,”Why, what happened to her, Airin” asked her. “I guess I could not tell you on the phone Estella, Finn was really in shock I guess, and she is in unconciousness right now, you’d better come here, Pondok Indah Hospital Room 309” She informed Estella again. “Okay, bye” said Estella hang up the phone in a hurry. She went out from her mom’s house and drove the car so fast. She was feeling guilty, and guessed what had happened to Finn. Was She decideing to commit suicide because of her ? Thousands of questions appeared in her head took turn with the possibility of many occurrence had made Finn being hospitalized.
She arrived in the Hospital and met Airin in the room #309. She looked at the weak body lay down to the hospital Bed. She looked so pale and weak. Airin looked at Estella who began to cry. Airin then came closer to Estella and touched her shoulder. “She was still in her unconsciousness, Estella” said Airin. “Yes, I know, but what did happen to her?” asked Estella. “I guess she was being raped in her apartment. I don’t know yet the real story, but when I called on her apartment this morning, I found her apartment was unlocked and she was in bed, naked already and blood flew out from her nose and, I am sorry, from her Vagina” informed Airin. “Who ? has done this cruel things to her ?” Said Estella in anger. “I don’t know for sure, Estella, but I fond this paper on the bed cover” said Airin and gave her a paper written “I hate you Bitch because of stealing my wife!” on it. “Have you reported to the police station?” asked Estella. “Not yet, until Finn asked me to do it, and I wait for her awareness from her unconsciousness”, she explained. “Why ? I know who is he..let us go to the police station” asked Finn. “No Estella, not in a hurry, it counts of her prestiges, and maybe involved a name of a woman she love so much” she explained. Estella kept quiet. “It is better for us to wait until the problem is clear and use lwayer to do that things” Suggested Airin. “Yes you are right” agreed Estella.
Estella looked at Finn never stop, she carress of Finn’s face and kissed her often times. Airin looked at this and though that Estella might be the one whome Estella loves much, and the one who involved in this tragedy.Finn was still in unconcioussness. Estella came to Airin and sad, “Thanks Airin, you’ve done so much. It’s better for you to go back home, I will take care of her tonight” She said. “Don’t mention it, Estella. I guess I need you to call on to her apartment to handle a meshy room, as I won’t do that alone, I just left it locked. Will you be free tomorrow Estella ?” asked Airin. “It will be Saturday, Okay, You will come here tomorrow and we will go there together”, suggested Estella. “Yes, I have asked Nadya to come here tomorrow, to keep an eye on her” said Airin as she had already aware that Finn might have someone guard her from another attacked from the cruel man who had raped her. “Okay, thanks” Said Estella and Hugged her so tight. “I am very sorry of this Airin, It was my fault !” She said. “I know Estella, you don’t need to continue it” Airin replied. “Thanks again” said Estella loosen her hug. ‘You should eat Estella and take good care of your health too” asked Airin. “Yes thank you, you are so nice” said Estella.
After Airin’s leaving, Estella sat on the chairs beside the bed, she was worried much about Finn, Finn did not yet aware. She kept on praying, this time she could feel that she need of God’s Help very badly, to recover Finn, and sned a re-birth Finn as the way she must be. She pray as a lot of as her crying in tears. She spoke to Finn never stop, though she knew that Finn was in her unconsciousness, but She was sure Finn would hear it in her sleep. Until Estella fell a sleep hugging Finn’s right hand with her.
The morning came, Estella opened her eyes, and found Finn already awoke, opening her eyes. Estella was so glad and surprised, she hugged Finn so tight, and gave her much kisses. “Oh Jesus Christ, Thanks a million” She said. “Finn, sweet heart,” called Estella. It had been so long not to call her using that words. “you know Finn, I love you so much, and I won’t leave you anymore” , said Estella enthusiastically. Finn was looked at her eyes. Estella realized, that Finn was not yet awaking in completely normal. She was shocked already. And Estella tried to convinced her, “I am Estella, Finn, who loves you so much, I love you Finn, please” Estella began to cry and she pressed the bell so that the nurse would come to help her.Not too long, a nurse came and Estella said,” She had awore, nurse, can you check her condition ?” asked Estella. “Yes of course, madam” said the nurse, and she began to check Finn’s condition. Finnished checking, the nurse said, “Doctor’s visit will come in a moment, and she will tell you about the progress” she said and left her. Estella came closer again to Finn and tooke her hand. Finn indeed opened her eyes, but she said nothing to Estella. She didn’t answer to what Estella had said, but Estella kept on continuing tell her how much she love her.
Doctor was checking Finn’s condition while nadya was coming to take turn to keep an eye on Finnerella. “She progressed already, but maybe she was feeling depressed and stressed, I have prepared some medicine for her, and nurse will handle it. One of the medicine is to calm her down, I guess she will be okay and wil recover soon” said the doctor. “Thank you Doc,” said Estella. “One more thing, it’s better for her for not moving to fast, because she had an internal surgery, until the wounds a get recover, she can turn down from bed” said the doctor again. “I notice doc and thanks”, said Estella understood. The doctor left them. “Hi Nadya” greeted Estella. “Hi, Ms. Estella” replied Nadya. “Just call me Estella” said Estella. Nadya smiled, “You can take a shower Estella, I will keep her my eyes” said Nadya. “Thanks” Estella then took a shower. While she went out from the bathroom, she found Airin had come. “Good morning Airin” greeted Estella. “Good morning, Estella” replied Airin. “I have heard the progress from Nadya, and she also had known that we will go to Finn’s apartment” informed Airin. “Hmmh”, Said Estella gave them both a smile. Estella came to Finn, and tooke her hand, “Sweetheart, I’ll go with Airin to your apartment and handle the things together, I’ll be back soon, sweetheart, I promise” said Estella. Finn just looked at her without saying anything. Estella then kissed her forehead, her eyes, her cheecks, her nose and the last on her lips so tender. She didn’t care anymore to what the other people would think about them, she didn’t care. And then Airin took turns to kiss Finn’s cheecks, “I’ll go with Estella, Finn, and Nadya will take care of you” said Airin.
Estella and Airin had arrived at the apartment, and started to handle the meshy room. “I guess, I need to go to the washing machine downstairs, Estella” said airin. “Okay Airin, I will handle the rest” agreed Estella. Airin left her alone. And Estella started to arrange Finn’s desk. It took not much time, as Finn always kept them all clean. She thought what could she make, to wait Airin back. She decided to turn on the computer, as Finn used to often working on it. She open My Documents folder and saw there are many documents been saved. She put attention one by one of them all. And she was interested to open the file named ‘My Day’. The file needed to open with password. Estella used her memory to remind what kind of password would possibility Finn used. She tried to opened it by Finn’s date of birthday, but it was failed. She tought so hard, to memorized the password that they used to use together for the email. And she remembered it and typed them down. Access succeed. Estella was glad to be able to access the file and also to know that Finn still used their password, and started to read all the file one by one. This file might be her diary. Finn had set the top page as the newest one. She read them one by one. The latest one was written on the day she had come and Finn would go to Surabaya tomorrow, Finn wrote this way,
Tonight, My soul and her son come to my office in sudden, I am surprised but so glad that they come, I was just sending her to sleep with the chocolate milk I made, she was deep in slumber right now. To see her while she was sleeping is always becoming my precious moment. I could see her face to my heart content, and smell the fragrance I always long for.
I see her goods she brought to my castle, I guess she will stay any longer. Unfortunately, I have to go to Sby tomorrow morning, I expected her to wait for me, and never leave me anymore. Till the right time to speak… someday.
Estella’s heart grew to ponder, she just noticed that Finn would tell her something someday. She began to feel guilty and she continued to read. She passed the day wasn’t interested her much, and found another one, Finn wrote on her birthday,
I have a surprised gift, from Airin and my soul, they came to my castle at the same moment. I guessed I will had this moment alone my self, as usual, lonely and empty. But they had cheered my special day.
I was a lil bit nervous, because they spent the night here altogether. I didn’t know what to do, I just didn’t want to hurt their heart. Airin is always kind to me, and you know, my soul, is someone whom I dreamt of in every single day of my life…
I didn’t know what they had already talk one to another, I guess they were, last night… I hope It wouldn’t change anything among us…
Estella began to cry so slowly, she just realized how much Finn loves her. She kept continuing to read, and she read Finn’s writing about Airin,
Airin came, as usual, she would go out of town and spare a day before and after to stay here with me. I sometimes didn’t know what to do. I could feel that she had crashed on me. As she always takes care of me and behave so kind.
In every night I spend with her, I always thank God, because we never did it, I just try to react so naïve, though I know, she might be expect something happened between us. As I heard, when we’re sleeping she wisphered that she could not understand that she loves me more from day to day though it was impossible.
I always pray to God, to not to let it be… never… even to anybody else, As I always save my heart completely to my soul….
Estella then found one day when she stayed the night at Finn’s Apartment, written like this,
Last night I felt much closer to my soul, we spent the night together at the balcon, she told me about her husband, she could stand it no more. Oh gosh, I wish I could reach out her trouble, But I always remember my promise myself not to force her to do the way I would like it to be..
I just tried to give her support and hold her in my arms, just like I did after then when we were in bed. Oh my God, that was the time I really desired to have it with her. But I have to be more rational, and left aside my own feelings.
I guess I heard that she said she love me for always, from the beginning and at no ends.But I forced myself to fall a sleep, so that I wouldn’t do any harm to her, We then fell asleep hugging her in my arms who usually empty, but lastnight the owner was there, the owner of all my body and soul…
Estella wiped her tears those flow down heavier. Because she would like to continue reading,
I was surprised, Someone has called me today, you know who ? A long lost soul ! Someone who always shadowing my night and day, she is someone I needed a lot, just like the air I breath, like the water I drink, like the minds I think, the souls to live…
There’s nothing I can do besides welcoming her again, and I started to fill the emptiness, grow the expectations, the hope and relieve the emptiness…I love her with all my heart and souls, not to stop though the soul and body apart..though the world goes to an end…time flies disappeared… I was the one who happiest people in the world…
I don’t know for sure what this meeting would bring about to our future relationship, just knowing that she is still remember me it makes me so grateful. May I still hoping that we will be together…? May I ?
Estella completely feeling guilty, she could feel how Finn love her so much, and always expected to be with her and never be apart.t She contolled all these feeling herself alone, in a very good way, objectively and politely. Finn never hates her and always appreciate all decisions she had made, and she never complain. She has the most true-love in the world, to love her much without complaining, even if Estella had made so many mistakes to Finn, and left Finn, hurt Finn, all of the things Finn appreciate her much on anything. She carried out the pain herself…”Oh My sweet heart… how precious you are!”. Estella cried a lot when she found the other day,
I was desperate so much tonight. I desire my soul extremely madly… I am dying to think of her… I am dying to pretend her existence.. I am dying to give a hope for the real-less expectations…
I know where you are my soul ! but I could not reach you ! Just to Finnd you will disturb your peace in your family life, to make your marriage life into a mesh, I know you have been more happier with your family, your prestige and your everything around you…
I beg to God to give me a death, still God never grant it to me…
She also read what Finn has written about Nadya Mochtar.
Nadya Mochtar. Alwauys be good and kind to me. It hasn’t been crossed in my mind to let her replace my soul in my heart…and I won’t..ever..
Estella tried to move the cursor faster to Finnd the day Finn spent the day with Chelsea, and she found it.
It was a mistake, I have several days with Chelsea in Boston. She had a luxurious town houses there. I bet she was rich and famous. Yeah I said famous considering her sexual experience to any girls and boys, women and men..
This was the first time I had an intercourse after so many years I did with my soul, I was in doubt at the time I went there, But as She already set all the things for me, so I decided to go.
I did it indeed, though I was not enjoying it at all. I always remind of My soul in doing that. But what else can I called myself than a hooker ? If I was doing it just like that. Chelsea indeed a good play, still I dislikes the type of woman like that..
I felt so dirty and seemed that I have betrayed my soul. The moment I have guard for so long to wait for the coming of my soul.. but she never come… till I had this bad experience with Chelsea…
It was a big mistake, and I won’t do that anymore… to anybody else… never..
Estella could not stand to cry, so she tried to stop reading the other notes. She closed the file and tried to open another file. She thougt for a moment, and tried to check Finn’s inbox on the outlook express. She was asking for a password, and she typed it them again, accessed succeed. She opened the latest mail received, from Chelsea, she wrote Finn like this,
My good woman Finnerella,
I think that I have to apologize again and again for my coming that day. I hope God bless you. And Luck in solving your problems with Estella.
Fortunately you told me the situation, Finnerella. I understand now, how you bring me along the street and look around the city just to spend your time away in the street to avoid our intercourse.
Although, I guess you could be able to tell me directly, so we did not need to spent the night by talking hours by hours and you did not need to arrange my ticket at dawn to and fro to the 24 hours travel office just to arrange my leave on the next morning. I actually could leave directly that night not to wait until the next morning to come.
Just explain her that nothing happened that night, Finn. I appreciate your decision and your honest story. I know she was the woman you love from the beginning you met and at no ends, the woman you desire and expect to be yours for always. Tell her the truth, Finn, or should anything I can do for you to make your dreams come true, just let me know.
As you said, the step need to take just left a little, and the space keep short distance, go ahead Finn, reach her.. She was the lucky woman to be achieved..and you are the lucky one to be hers.
Your friend !.
Chelsea.
Estella than realized how cruel she was, not giving Finn a chance to explain her what happened that night. She lost control of being angry to her. She regretted it very much. She closed the mail and looked that there is another mail, from Rafaella, Nadya, Airin and many others, but she was reluctant to open it. It was enough, it answered much about her curiosity of Finn’s feeling to her. She turned of the computer and went out to the living room.
Airin came back, and saw Estella’s eyes already swollen because of crying. Airin came to her, and asked her to have lunch together,”Estella, Shall we have our lunch down stairs?” Asked Airin. “Can we buy and bring along to the hospital ?” asked Estella. Airin seemed to understand how sad she was, of being apart from Finnerella. “Okay, so I have to be able to hold my starFinng anyway” said Airin smiling. “Unfortunately yes !” Replied Estella in smile.
They went out buy their lunch, and bring along to the hospital. Nadya was still there. They greeted Nadya, and asked her whether she had have her lunch, but she hadn’t yet. “I bring a lunch for you, Nadya, you could have it with Airin” Said Estella. Airin understood what Estella mean, actually they bought two pack lunch only but she didn’t complain. Maybe Estella didn’t want to eat. “Come here nadya, we have our lunch” invited Airin. Nadya and Airin had their lunch together, while Estella accompanied Finn, and never left her again after then. Finn was still sleeping, maybe because of the medicine given by the doctor to calm her down.
“It has made you all busy, Airin and Nadya” Said Estella. “then maybe it’s better for you both to take care of yourself, I thank you for all the things you have done for Finn” said Estella. “It’s okay Estella” said Airin. “ I have arranged my necessities to stay here until Finn becoming aware again” Said Estella. “Okay then, we will leave you with Finn” said Airin smiling. After having their lunch, Nadya and Airin permitted to go back home. Estella kissed their cheecks and again thanked them.
Estella was with Finn. She took care of Finn with her love, her heart and complete affectionate she can give. Finn noticed it as she was slowly becoming more aware. But she did not yet saying anything to what Estella says.
At night, The intravenous feeding (infusion) has been loosen from Finn’s hand, So that she was already allowed to have dinner direct thru her mouth. But she was not yet allowed to turn down from the bed. Estella handled her necessities, fed her, took her a bath herself. At night, when Estella fell a sleep on the chair, while her hand took Finn’s hand on her face. Finn felt so pity on her. She caressed Estella’s face. Estella woke up and looked at her and gave her a smile. “Get in Estella, I can share this bed for you” Said Finn Finnally. Estella was so happy, and she kissed her so gentle. Without waiting for another time of Finn’s offer, she move from the chair, and accompanied Finn in bed, she hold Finn so close and gave her the warm of her body to Finn. “I love you Finn with all my heart !” said Estella. “I want to go back home tomorrow Estella” said Finn. “I will arranged it Finn, I will, Just get rest and have anough slee |
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