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For more information on this product click below, or visit www.100inchTV.com Justin's blonde jokes 251. Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. 252. Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde. 253. Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception". The blonde says, "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!" 254. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her. 255. Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum) 256. Q: How does a blonde get pregnant? A: And I thought blondes were dumb! 257. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS? A: A know-it-all bitch. 258. Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde? A: One's a phony buck. 259. Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician? A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts. 260. Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? A: One that never misses a period. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shop Online? Get Rebates From Lots of Stores, and Ratings on Many More! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 261. Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is? A: An Italian suppository. 262. I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to cook them. 263. A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street. 264. Did you hear about the blonde who: 1 had more on her body than on her mind? 2 was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean? 3 took an hour to cook Minute Rice? 4 got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up? 5 was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient? 6 7 had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs? 8 thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates? 9 was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat? 10 after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls? 11 went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker? 12 brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam? 265. Q: Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses? A: She was having sunny periods. 266. Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant? A: Her feet! 267. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose? A: When she farts, her knees bag. 268. Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist? A: Marriage. 269. Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan? A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat. 270. Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde? A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 271. Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way. 272. Q: How do ya paralyze a blonde from the neck down? A: Marry her. 273. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her. 274. Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? A: Bobbing for french fries. 275. Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? A: She has a checkbook. 276. Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it. 277. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece. 278. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? A: Lipstick. 279. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe. 280. Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Laugh Your Butt Off Everyday!! With FREE Hilarious Jokes in your Email! Simply enter your address below and click submit! You should be 16 years or older and we will not sell/divulge your address to anyone! This service is completely FREE and anonymous! This service is totally free and anonymous -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A: Because they can understand them. 281. Q: Why do blondes like lightning? A: They think someone is taking their picture. 282. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead? A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it! 283. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks. 284. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons? A: From dating blonde men. 285. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out. 286. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ? A: Wishful Thinking. 287. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees. 288. Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter. 289. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A1: They can't remember the number. A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons. 290. Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes? A: A brunette with bad breath. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Play for Fun, or try your luck at the Big Bucks! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 291. Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations. 292. Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants. 293. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? A: Air bubbles. 294. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A: A blonde parade. 295. Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? A: A waste. 296. Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground? A: An air mattress. 297. Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A: Divorcee' 298. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes? A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks. 299. Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what? 300. Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved. 301. Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down? A: Two brunettes. 302. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass? A: A brain tumor. 303. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side. 304. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU? A: Too many blondes were drowning. 305. Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq? A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water. 306. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK". 307. Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat? A: In case she locks the keys in her car. 308. Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. 309. Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian? A: Because she loved children. 310. Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first? A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Laugh Your Butt Off Everyday!! With FREE Hilarious Jokes in your Email! Simply enter your address below and click submit! You should be 16 years or older and we will not sell/divulge your address to anyone! This service is completely FREE and anonymous! This service is totally free and anonymous -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 311. Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade 4. 312. What are the worst six years in a blonde's life? A: Third Grade. 313. Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." 314. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 blondes. 315. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod... 316. Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters. 317. Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman? A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub. 318. Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry! 319. Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night. 320. Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?" A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!" |
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