Forgery???!!! I'm surprised at you, even looking at this page! - What must poor Felix be thinking? Perhaps how to get out of Sports Day? Ah, worry no further kitty cat! - Life Style - http://maxpages.com/mysticgoth/The_joy_of_sick

I'd firstly like to thank The 'Bart Simpson's Guide to Life' book, by Matt Groening for an excellent and plentyful source for such helpful quips as what you are about to see.
I, nor Bart Simpson, takes no blame for any trouble you might get into because of same, including not limited to: grounding, detention, expultion from school, disfiguring hunting accidents, and the death penalty. You have now been duly warned.
Enjoy!

We all know that kids have to do tons of sutff that stinks. But one thing is so bad, so vile, so unfair, so downright awful, they had to pass a law to make us do it. That's right, school. By mastering one simple skill, you can slip through the clutches of the law and take the breaks you deserve.

Firstly -

THE NEVER FAIL SICK EXCUSE

Please excuse ____(your name here)____ for missing school the past two days. He/she was suffering from amnesia and forgot to go to school. He/she is much better now, thank you. Please never mention this to anyone, as it may trigger a relapse.

Sincerely,

________(your parent's signature)_________

Next -

THE GET-OUT OF-GYM-ROUTINE

____(your name here) injured his/her back carrying me across a puddle. He/she must not do anything that even sounds like exercise. Ever. Or we will sue you for everything you've got.

Sincerely,

________(your parent's signature)________

And finally -

THE PERFECT PROGRESS REPORT

Dear Mr, and/or Mrs. ______(your last name here)________
I am writing to let you know how well ______(your name here)______ is doing in my class. We all think she/he's totally brilliant and hope she/he'll never change. How did she/he learn to whistle like that?
Someday i might write to tell you how horrible _____(your name here)______ is. But i am a paranoid schizophrenic, so please ignore me then, or I might kill you.

Sincerely

_________(your teacher's signature)_______

Use these gems wisely! And if you want to moan about school even more, try visiting my mate's and partly (a-heh) Rosie Ragdoll's (a heh heh...) site, about our wonderful school. The URL is - www.maxpages.com/wehatenhs We love our school to bits you see. Bits being the main word. Enjoy and see you all soon.

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Rose or as some know me, Rosie Ragdoll, or Gothgirl, or Gigantic Moth, or Gordan or just "the freak" normally, well you get the idea
Voo doo doll lane,
Crapsville	hellsylvania	0000 0001
Ga ga land
0800 F-R-E-A-K
Fax 0800 B-I-T-E-M-E
GothgirlY2K@yahoo.co.uk

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Page Updated Thu Jul 18, 2002 7:53pm EDT