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100 Uses for Kraft Singles
How to Talk
Mysterious Secret Code
The Mysterious Avocado Bomb
About Me
How To Be A Good Secret Agent
The Meaning of Life
Mysterious Linx
Lifes Important Questions
Unmysterious Person o the Week
The Mystery Dance
Things That Scare Me
My Mysterious Inspirations
How to Build Your Own HQ
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| Answers To Life's Important Questions |
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| Your burning questions answered by (who else?) Mystery Girl |
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| Have any mysterious burning questions? E-mail them to me at mystery__girl@hotmail.com with the subject line "Answer My Life's Burning Question!" I may just post the mysterious answers to them here. Here are some of Life's Important Questions that you've been pondering every moment of your pathetic existence and their answers because I know everything. I can read your mind (you pervert!). It's all part of being mysterious. Q: Dear Mystery Girl, What is the meaning of life? Signed: Mystery Boy A: Other than being mysterious as possible, there is one thing. (see the section of this site entitled "The Meaning of Life.") Q: Dear Mystery Girl, Where is my other sock? Signed: Mystery Amanda Hugginkiss A: Okay, this is sort of complicated. When you put your socks in the dryer, the spinning effect can open up a black hole (don't ask me how, this has to remain somewhat of a mystery). It isn't any black hole though, you see, because the magnetic pull only attracts the special type of lint that is only on your socks. This lint has magical powers to creatures in other dimensions. So once your sock has reached another dimension, if it wasn't pulled apart in the process, the little alien people collect the socks and put them through a special machine that sucks the magic out of them. Then they bottle it, and sell it on the black market for extremely high prices. It is a powerful hallucinogenic to them, makes them turn colors and stuff. Then they dispose of the now un-magicalized socks and they make it to the the alternate-dimension dump. To make more efficient use of the dump, they compact all of the trash in a spinning sort of giant blender type thing, which opens up another black hole. Sometimes they make it back to our dimension, sometimes not. However, if they do, the exit of the portal is in the space between the wall and your dryer. Try checking there. If there are no sox, sorry I have to tell you this, but it has probably gone to sock-ie heaven, a wonderful place where all the sock live in perfect peace and harmony whether they are cotton, nylon, argyle, or striped. Don't fret, your sock is very happy now. How do I know all of this? I was like all you curious creatures out there, and I decided to find out where my socks went. I went through the entire laundry cycle with my socks on and travelled to the other dimension, all the while keeping a journal of the events. Don't believe me? I have pictures. WARNING: Do not try this at home. Trust me, it does not feel good to have your atoms ripped apart and sucked back together again. Q: Dear Mystery Girl, Will my pillow engulf my head and suck my brains out through my pores while I am sleeping? Signed: Mystery Bob A: Yes. Beware! I suggest sleeping with a bread bag over your head during the night (make sure it is of the plastic type with no holes). My good mysterious secret agent pal, Mystery Bob Jason Peter Jones suggests sleeping in the bathtub (with or without water is fine). |
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