CAUTION!--Now entering the Genealogy Fun Zone! - Poems, Stories, Sayings - for sharing!!! - Genealogy - http://maxpages.com/mygenroots/Genealogy_Fun

Last updated: June 24, 1999
============================================================
WHO AM I?

I started out calmly, tracing my tree,
To see if I could find the making of me,
And all that I had was Great-Grandfather's name,
Not knowing his wife or from whence he came.
I chased him across a long line of states,
And came up with pages and pages of dates.
When all put together, it makes me forlorn,
Poor old Great-Grandpa had never been born.
One day I was sure the truth I had found,
Determined to turn this whole thing upside down.
I looked up the record of one Uncle John,
But then found the old man to be younger than his son.
Then when my hopes were fast growing dim,
I came across records that must have been him.
The facts I collected made me quite sad,
Dear Old Great-Grandfather was never a Dad.
It seems that someone is pulling my leg,
I'm not at all sure I wasn't hatched from an egg.
After hundreds of dollars I've spent on my tree,
I can't help but wonder if I'm really me!
*********************************- Author Unknown

============================================================

A Prayer For Genealogists -

Lord, help me dig into the past,
And sift the sands of time,
That I might find the roots that made
This family tree mine.
Lord, help me trace the ancient roads,
On which my fathers trod,
And led them through so many lands,
To find our present sod.
Lord, help me find an ancient book,
Or dusty manuscript,
That's safely hidden now away,
In some forgotten crypt.
Lord, let it bridge the gap that haunts
My soul, when I can't find
The missing link between some name
That ends the same as mine.
************************- Author Unknown

============================================================

A Christmas Poem for Genealogists!

On the Twelfth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Twelve census searches
Eleven printer ribbons
Ten e-mail contacts
Nine headstone rubbings
Eight birth and death dates
Seven town clerks sighing
Six second cousins
Five coats of arms
Four GEDCOM files
Three old wills
Two CD-ROMS
And a branch in my family tree!
***************************** - Author Unknown!
============================================================

Dear Ancestor:

Your tombstone stands among the rest;
Neglected and alone.
The name and the date are chiseled out
On polished, marbled stone.
It reaches out to all who cares
It is too late to mourn.
You did not know that I exist
You died and I was born.
Yet each of us are cells of you
In flesh, in blood, in bone.
Our blood contracts and beats a pulse
Entirely not our own.
Dear Ancestor, the place you filled
One hundred years ago
Spreads out among the ones you left
Who would have loved you so.
I wonder if you lived and loved,
I wonder if you knew
That someday I would find this spot,
And come to visit you.
************************-Author Unknown

============================================================

To Whom It May Concern!

I went searching for an ancestor, I cannot find him still.
He moved around from place to place, and didn't leave a will.
He married where a courthouse burned, he mended all his fences.
He avoided any man who came to take the U. S. Census.
He always kept his luggage packed, this man who had no fame.
And every 20 years or so, this rascal changed his name.
His parents came from Europe, they should be on some list.
Of passengers to the USA, but somehow they got missed.
And no one else in this world is searching for this man.
So I'm playing "Gene-Solitaire," to find him if I can.
I'm told he's buried in a plot, with tombstone he was blessed.
But the weather took the engraving, and vandals took the rest.
He died before the county clerks decided to keep records.
No family Bible has emerged, in spite of all my efforts.
To top it off, this ancestor, who's caused me so many groans.
Just to give me one more pain, betrothed a girl named JONES.

============================================================

Murphy's Law for Genealogists!

1) The public ceremony in which your distinguished ancestor participated and at which the platform collapsed under him turned out to be a hanging.

2) When at last after much hard work you have solved the mystery you have been working on for two years, your aunt says, "I could have told you that."

3) Your grandmother's maiden name that you have searched for, for four years, was on a letter in a box in the attic all the time.

4) You never asked your father about his family when he was alive because you weren't interested in genealogy then.

5) The will you need is in the safe on board the Titanic.

6) Copies of old newspapers have holes occurring only on the surnames, especially the ones you need.

7) John, son of Thomas, the immigrant whom your relatives claim as the family progenitor, died on board ship at age 10.

8) Your great grandfather's newspaper obituary states that he died leaving no issue of records.

9) The keeper of the vital records you need has just been insulted by another genealogist.

10) The relative who had all the family photographs gave them all to her daughter who has no interest in genealogy and no inclination to share.

11) The only record you find your great grandfather is that his property was sold at a sheriff's sale of insolvency.

12) The one document that would supply the missing link in your dead-end line has been lost due to fire, flood, or war.

13) The town clerk to whom you wrote for the information sends you a long handwritten letter which is totally illegible.

14) The spelling of your European ancestor's name bears no relationship to its current spelling or pronunciation.

15) None of the pictures in your recently deceased grandmother's photo album have names written on them.

16) No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, owned property, was sued, or was named in wills.

17) You learn that your great aunt's executor just sold her life's collection of family genealogical materials to a flea market dealer "somewhere in New York City."

18) Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversel proportional to the value of the data recorded.

19) The 37-volume, 16,000-page history of your county of origin isn't indexed.

20) You finally find your great grandparent's wedding records and discover that the bride's father was named John Smith.

============================================================

CENUS TAKER

It was the first day of census, and all through the land;
The pollster was ready ... a black book in hand.
He mounted his horse for a long dusty ride;
His book and some quills were tucked close by his side.
A long winding ride down a road barely there;
Toward the smell of fresh bread wafting up through the air.
The woman was tired, with lines on her face;
And wisps of brown hair she tucked back into place.
She gave him some water ... as they sat at the table;
And she answered his questions ... the best she was able.
He asked of her children ... Yes, she had quite a few;
The oldest was twenty, the youngest not two.
She held up a toddler with checks round and red;
his sister, she whispered, was napping in bed.
She noted each person who lived there with pride;
And she felt the faint stirrings of the wee one inside.
He noted the sex, the color, the age ...
The marks from the quill soon filled up the page.
At the number of childre, she nodded her head;
And saw her lips quiver for the three that were dead.
The places of birth she "never forgot";
Was it Kansas? or Utah? or Oregon ... or not?
They came from Scotland, of that she was clear;
But she wasn't quite sure just how long they'd been here.
They spoke of employment, of schooling and such;
They could read some and write some ... though really not much.
When the questions were answered, his job there was done;
So he mounted his horse and he rode toward the sun.
We can imagine his voice loud and clear;
"May God Bless you all for another ten years."
Now picture a time warp ... it's now you and me;
As we search for the people on our family tree.
We squint at the census and scroll down so slow;
As we search for that entry from long, long ago.
Could they only imagine on that long ago day;
That the entries they made would effect us this way?
If they knew, would they wonder at the yearning we feel;
And the searching that makes them so increadingly real.
We can hear if we listen the words they impart;
Through their blood in our veins and their voice in our heart.

============================================================

Dear Santa,

Don't bring me new dishes;
I don't need a new kind of game.
Genealogists have peculiar wishes;
For Christmas I just want a surname.
A new washing machine would be great,
But it isn't the desire of my life.
I've just found an ancestor's birth date;
Now I just need the name of his wife.
My heart doesn't yearn for a ring;
That would put a real diamond to shame.
What I want is a much cheaper thing;
Please give me Martha's last name.
To see my heart singing with joy;
Don't bring me a red leather suitcase.
Bring me a genealogist's toy;
A surname, with dates and a place.
***************************- Author Unknown

============================================================
Copyright 1996, K. Weston

ODE TO "I'm just gettin' on for a MINUTE"

I got up this morning, but haven't yet dressed.
My dishes aren't done, and my house is a mess.
Have not done my work, have not fed the cat,
Just on for a second, and popped into "chat."

I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex,
I think I remember I used to have SEX!
I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair,
'Tho it causes the neighbors and children to STARE.

I wanted to travel around on the Net,
Been too busy chatting to get on there yet!
I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint,
But gettin' on with'em is what I just ain't!

So much to learn and I wanted to, but
I'm too busy chatting and splitting a gut,
'lisnin' to people like NH and Cin,
Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in!

Then up pops a name on my neat BuddyList,
Think I'll go out and give HIS tail a twist!
And in comes an IM from some weirdo-guy,
I cuss 'im, insult 'im, and tell him 'bye 'bye.

Is there a 12 step support group, or such?
For those of us folks who just chat on too much?
If there was a group, I would like it just fine,
Except that it prob'ly would be here on line!

Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some.
Its got me, its GOT me, its power is AWESOME!
It's my new computer, I've had it one week,
Now I look in the mirror and I see a geek.

Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs,
Please help me, please help me, please get me off line!
Or better, please e-mail a burger and fries,
'Cuz I'm staying ON here, at least 'til I DIES!
********************************Copyright 1996, K. Weston
Please visit: http://www.hometown.aol.com/ladyzinnia/index.html

============================================================

CINSES TAYKUR KNEEDED

Air cowntys groan purty fass in resint yers an now in 1869 hits a hard an time consoomin job fur one feller to cownt all thez peepl.

Tha fedal govmint wants us tew cownt all peepl whut has cum to tha frunteers of Txsis so they kan no whur evrabody is an peepl fer yers to com kan fin who an whur thur an sesters livd an we kned sumbodee whut kan rit reel gud an kan spel purty gud is kunsiderd a ass set to tha job. an hit wud be a hep ifn yew had a gud mul to rid fer hit is a fer pece to walk a foot tew dew this mpotunt okeepayshun.

not just enny body kan dew this here job. Hit tks sum body with a edakashun wich a gud meny peepl dont got rownd heer.

ifn yew tak this mpotunt job fer tha Yewnited Stats uv Amuracus govmint, yew kin cawnt thim peepl sowth uv town an ile cawnt thim in tha northe part of tha cowntee.

now theys a hole bunch ov thim Jermuns hav setld down in tha sowth ind of this cawnty whut kant hrdlee talk amuracun her kan they spel wurth nuthin so yew wil hav to do tha bes yew kan with thim.

Don't wury bout thim narweeguns down there, they all say they name is yohansun enyhow, yew jest kowntum an put sum ledders afrunt uv yohansen an sum nummber tween 1 an a hunert as they haint meny ovem liv much pas a hunert enyhow.

bee reel keerful an git evarbode fer sum day sum body may wunt tew fin thur four bares an this wil bee tha plaze tew finum.

Sined: jHon Dayvushun
Cheef Cinses Taykur
Bayhar Cowntee txsis

============================================================

GRANDMA'S DISEASE

There's been a change in Grandma, we've noticed her of late.
She always reading history or jotting down some date.
She's tracking back the family, we'll all have pedigrees.
Oh, Grandma's got a hobby - she's climbing the FAMILY TREE.

Poor Grandpa does the cooking, and now, or so he states,
That worst of all, he has to wash the cups and dinner plates.
Grandma can't be bothered, she's busy as a bee,
Compiling genealogy for the FAMILY TREE.

She has no time to babysit, the curtains are a fright,
No buttons left on Grandpa's shirt, the flower bed's a sight.
She's given up her club work and the soaps on TV,
The only thing she does nowadays is climb the FAMILY TREE.

She goes down to the courthouse and studies ancient lore,
We know more about our forebarers than we ever knew before.
The books are old and dusty, they make poor Grandma sneeze,
A minor irritation when you're climbing the FAMILY TREE.

The mail is all for Grandma, it comes from near and far,
Last week she got the proof she needs to join the D. A. R.
A monumental project all do agree,
All from climbing up the FAMILY TREE.

Now some folks came from Scotland, some from Galway Bay,
Some were French as pastry, some German all the way.
Some went West to stake there claims, some stayed there by the sea.
Grandma hopes to find them all, as she climbs the FAMILY TREE.

She wanders through the graveyard in search of a date and name,
The rich, the poor, the in-between, all sleeping there the same.
She pauses now and then to rest, fanned by a gentle breeze,
That blows above the Fathers of all our FAMILY TREES.

There are pioneers and patriots, mixed in our kith and kin,
Who blazed the paths of wilderness and fought through thick and thin.
But none more staunch than Grandma, who eyes light up with glee;
Each time she finds a missing branch for the FAMILY TREE.

Their skills were wide and vaired, from carpenter to cook,
And one, alas, the records show, was hopelessly a crook.
Blacksmith, weaver, farmer, judge - some tutored for a fee.
Once lost in time, now all recorded on the FAMILY TREE.

To some it's just a hobby, to Grandma it's much more,
She learns the joys and heartaches of those that went before.
They loved, they lost, they laughed, they wept - and now, for you and me,
They live again in spirit, arouhd the FAMILY TREE.

At last she's nearly finished and we are each exposed,
Life will be the same again, this we all supposed.
Grandma will cook and sew, serve cookies with our tea.
We'll all be fat, just as before the wretched FAMILY TREE.

Sad to relate, the preacher called and visited for a spell.
We talked about the Gospel, and other things as well.
The heathen folk, the poor and then - twas fate, it had to be.
Somehow the conversation turned to Grandma and the FAMILY TREE.

He never knew his Grandpa, his mother's name was ... Clark?
He and Grandma talked and talked, outside it grew dark.
We'd hoped our fears were groundless, but just like some disease,
Grandma's become an addict - she's hooked on FAMILY TREES.

Our souls are filled with sorrow, our hearts sad with dismay.
Our ears could scarce believe the words we heard our Grandma say,
"It sure is a lucky thing that you have come to me,
I know exactly how it's done, I'll climb your FAMILY TREE!
*******************************************- Author Unknown

============================================================

CAUTION! ... You have now entered the Genealogy Zone.

My family coat of arms ties at the back .. is that normal?

My family tree is a few branches short! Help appreciated.

My ancestors must be in a witness protection program!

Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!

My hobby is genealogy, and I raise dust bunnies as pets.

How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE?

I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap.

I'm not stuck, I'm ancestrally challenged.

I'm searching for myself. Have you seen me?

If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help.

Isn't genealogy fun? The answer to 1 problem leads to 2 more

It's 1998. Do you know where your G-G-Grandparents are?

A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.

A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots.

A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away.

After 30 days, unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.

Am I the only person up my tree - seems like it.

A family tree produces some lemons, nuts & a few bad apples.

Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree?

Genealogists are time unravelers.

Genealogy is like Hide & Seek: They hide & I seek!

A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.

I should have asked them before they died.

Only a genealogist regards a step backwards as progress.

Many a family trees need trimming.

I'm not sick, I've just got fading genes.

Genealogists do it generation after generation!

Alright! Everybody out of the genetic pool!

Genealogy: chasing your own tale!

I researched my family tree .. apparently I don't exist!

SO MANY ANCESTORS....................SO LITTLE TIME!

============================================================
While visiting this page, and you find that I have posted your poem, saying or whatever here and have not given you credit as the author, please email me and I will take it off here, or leave it with your permission, giving you credit as the author.

Thanks for stopping by! Jacque

Jacque Hopkins Wolski
P O Box 1412
Idaho Falls	Idaho	83403-1412
hopkinsj@ida.net

Visitors: 07890

Page Updated Thu Feb 17, 2000 10:43pm EST