Ways To Annoy People - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/myemptyspace/Ways_To_Annoy

-Pretend you do not understand what they are saying, no matter how much they yell and how slowly they say it.
- Go into a frozen yogurt joint where they have lots of toppings. Order a cup, and say to the person, in the most annoying tone imaginable, "Do you have M&M's? Yeah? Good. How 'bout raisins? Yeah, and sprinkles. Do you have cookie crumbs?" After he has proceeded to put them on the yogurt, exclaim, "I hate cookie crumbs. They make me sick. I can't even smell them, that's how much I hate them. Aagh, yuck!" Watch the salesperson fume as he is forced to throw away the entire cup.
-Walk into a store that has a sign that says, "Have a penny? Give a penny! Need a penny? Take a penny!" with a HUGE jar of pennies. Take a penny out of the cup, put it into your jar, and walk out.
-Pull up alongside somebody while driving on the freeway, and gesture violently, indicating that they should pull over immediately. When they pull over, just continue driving.
-After somebody finishes telling a joke, say in a very grave tone, "My brother died that way."
-Leave the following message on someone's answering machine: "Sir,we're not sure if you wanted us to do it, you know, after what happened, so, well, we went ahead and did it anyway. If you don't like it, we can probably take it out, but we'll have to charge you extra. Please return this call immediately. Thanks."
- When walking behind someone outside, pull up a long piece of grass, and gently tickle them behind the ear with it. The first time, they'll try to brush it away. The second time they'll swat at it, and smack themselves. Generally, the third time they turn around and look behind themselves.
-When they're about half way through with it, remove one piece from the box of a jigsaw puzzle, and throw it away.
-Call a house at random, and ask for Gary. When they tell you that there's no Gary there, call again a little while later. Do this at intervals about four times. Finally, when they're fuming and about to scream bloody murder, call a fifth time, and say, "Hi, this is Gary. Are there any messages for me?"
-Take a deck of cards, and say, "Okay, I'm gonna do a magic trick." Ask the person to pick any card, and put it anywhere in the deck. After they have shuffled the deck thoroughly, take the deck back. Ask, "What was your card?" When they tell you, say, "Not only has your card magically come to the top of the deck, but it has also magically turned into..." Pick up the top card, look at it, and
name it.
-When somebody is talking very excitedly at a restaurant, pick up their plate, hand it to them, and nod gravely. Wait for them to notice and wonder why they are holding their plate.
-Send a letter with twenty-nine one cent stamps.
-When someone asks, "Are there any questions?" ask, "Where do babies come from?"
-Sing, "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves..." over and over again to the tune of the first two lines of The Battle Hymn of the
Republic.
-At a red light, put your car in gear and creep slowly forward, while gesturing to the person in the car next to you that they must be rolling backwards.
-Walk up to someone you know, and say something to the effect of, "Hey, did you hear what happened to Jim? Well he was with...oh,man, I really shouldn't tell you this. No, I promised I wouldn't tell. No, I can't tell you, sorry."
-When they are out of their room, move everything they own to a different location.
-At night, rearrange somebody's furniture. At the very least, they'll be surprised when they get up in the morning. But, better yet, call them in the middle of the night, so they have to get up,
and stumble over a chair that wasn't there before.
-Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
-Staple papers in the middle of the page.
-Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
-Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
-Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
-Honk and wave to strangers.
-Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
-Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
-ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
-Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
-Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
-Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
-Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador", or "General".
-Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
-When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
-Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
-As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
-Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
-Name your dog "Dog".
- Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
- Ask people what gender they are.
-Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
-Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
-Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr.Rogers theme song.
-While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
-Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
-Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
-Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
-Sing along at the opera.
53. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
-Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook... something about "psychological profiles".
-Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
-Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".

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Page Updated Wed Jun 13, 2001 10:05pm EDT