Story Jokes - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/myemptyspace/Story

The Mistaken Email

Consider the case of the Illinois couple who left the snow filled streets of Chicago for a well deserved vacation in sunny Florida.

The man's wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he checked in and spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool, basking in the heat of the Florida sun

After he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose poor husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.

Plane Crash
A boy scout, The smartest man in the world, the President of the United States and the Pope were on a flight when the pilot announced that the plane was going to crash and that there was only four parachutes and he was taking one and jumped.

The smartest man in the world said "I'm the smartest man in the world, people need me" so he took a parachute and he jumped.

The President of the United States said "I'm the President of the United States, my country is depending on me" so he took a parachute and he jumped.

The Pope looked at the boy scout and said "Son, I've lived a long time, I know that I will be with God, you take the last parachute". The boy scout replied "we can both jump, the smartest man in the world took my knapsack".

Jesus is Watching

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room, but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you." Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes," said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot, "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar, "what idiot named you Clarence?" ....The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."

Bill Gates dies and is at the pearly gates
Bill Gates dies and is at the pearly gates talking with Saint Peter. Saint Peter says, "Bill, you've done some wonderful things in your life and have earned the right to choose where you'll spend the rest of eternity. You can choose between Heaven or Hell, but choose wisely."

Bill looks over Saint Peter's shoulder between the pearly gates and sees nothing but a lush green meadow. Deciding to heed Saint Peter's words, Bill asks if he could take a look at Hell. Saint Peter agrees and sends Bill to Hell. The Devil greets Bill at the gates of Hell and he is immediately taken aback. Much to his surprise, there's one heck of a party going on. People are dancing, the alcohol is flowing, music is non-stop and everyone is having a blast. Bill returns to Heaven to again discuss his decision with Saint Peter.

He again looks over Saint Peter's shoulder and sees only a lush green meadow. Bill says to Saint Peter, "I've put a lot of thought into this decision and it may sound foolish, but I'd like to spend the rest of eternity in Hell."

Saint Peter fulfills Bill's request and returns him to Hell. When Bill gets back to Hell there's been a big change. People are writhing in agony, flames are burning, moans of pain and despair are everywhere. Bill, being quite shocked at the sight asks the Devil, "What happened?? I was just down here a little while ago and everyone was having a great time!" The Devil says, "Oh that... That was just the demo!"

Time Of Your Life (Good Riddance) |

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Page Updated Wed Jun 13, 2001 10:05pm EDT