Johnny Jokes - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/myemptyspace/Johnny_Jokes_Kinda

** Philosophy**

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with
the first gun shot"

The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking,"

Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women
sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of

the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and
sucking
the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is
married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one that's
gobbled down the top and sucked the cone"

To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the
wedding ring on,...but I like your thinking.

** Math Class**

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?"

asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3' I said "6"

"But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.

"That's what I said!"

** English**

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to

learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"

Little Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate"

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful."

Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

** Grammar**

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to

go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this
situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the
word 'urinate' in a sentence
correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, then says, "Yu're an eight, but if you had
bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!!!"

** Beautiful**

One day, during lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my
mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.

She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and

it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table,

my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said,
'Beautiful,...just fucking beautiful!"

Time Of Your Life (Good Riddance) |

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Page Updated Wed Jun 13, 2001 10:05pm EDT