HoroScope 4 Southerners - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/myemptyspace/HoroScope_4

It has become pretty obvious to us Southerners that our present
astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get
rid of them. When I'm out driving around I'll see bulls, and once
in a great while I suppose I'll even see a ram. Up the street from me there's
some twins, but I don't see them much. The rest of these things are
just too obscure.

You only see crabs on vacation. There are no lions or scorpions, not
many archers and no damn water bearers. Virgins? The neighborhood's
not crawling with them either. SO, what we need here is some relevance.

We need things we can recognize up there in the night sky.

SCROLL DOWN TO YOUR BIRTH DATE!

OKRA Dec 22 -Jan 20

Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the
inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back
over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere.
Stay away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN Jan 21 -Feb 19

Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're
uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin,
however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has
plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very
careful. Chitlins can burn and then erupt like Vesuvius, and this can make
for a really terrible mess. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
Remember that when marriage time rolls around.

BOLL WEEVIL Feb 20 - Mar 20

You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the
surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the
interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and
driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind
is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE Mar 21 - Apr 20

You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch.
It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies.
"Big" and "round" are the key words here. You should marry anybody
who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be
easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM Apr 21 - May 21

When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked
tendency to withdraw and develop a "don't -bother -me -about -it"
attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think
you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but
seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work, and you may
find your problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH May 22 - Jun 21

Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're
always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach
to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living
room. You tend to be particularly attractive physically, but you have
very, very good personalitys.

COLLARDS Jun 22-Jul 23

Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in
the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the
essences of those around them. Collards make good social workers,
psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes,
if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save
yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH Jul 24 -Aug 23

Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one
exception: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish
are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to
the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from
Moon Pies.

GRITS Aug 24 -Sep 23

Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to
huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel,
though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you
like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or
eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that
serves you well.

BOILED PEANUTS Sep 24 -Oct 23

You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately,
those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that
your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably
affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear.
You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a
certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you
can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN Oct 24 -Nov 22

Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well
with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've
grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting.
You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything
to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO Nov 23 -Dec 21

You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are
actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire,
some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not
concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with
anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and
behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but
Possum is another, somewhat kinky, mating possibility.

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Page Updated Thu Jan 10, 2002 4:20pm EST