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**************DOCTORS************


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1) "kiss me doctor"
"I cant, us doctors have ethnical standards inwhich we are not allowed to kiss our patients. In fact, I shouldnt really be fucking you either."

2) A tired doctor is woken in the middle of the night by a phone call. "PLEASE YOU HAVE TO COME RIGHT AWAY" pleaded the distraught woman. "my child has swallowed a contraceptive. The physician dressed quickly but before he could get out of the door the phone rang again.
"you dont have to come after all" the woman said with a sigh of relief. "My husband just found another one."

3) A man hasnt been feeling well and so goes to his doctors for a complete checkup. Afterwards the doctor comes out with the results " Im afraid I have some very bad news, "the doctor says."your dying and you dont have much time left."
" Oh thats terrible!!! cries the man....... how long do I have?"
"ten says the doctor sadly"
"ten replies the man." ...."ten what? months, weeks,WHAT?"
"nine........eight......."

4)"We need to get these people to hospital"
"What is it"
"Its a building with lots of doctors but thats not important right now.......!!!!!!"

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