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Welcome to Quotes of idiocy!
Below are some idiot quotes been told by famous characters.
Here we go !
"There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964."
- Roger Daltrey, Singer/Actor
"Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
- Yogi Berra
"Facts are stupid things."
- Ronald Reagan
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
- Dan Quayle
"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
-George W. Bush
"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
- Vlade Divac, Basketball player
"I don't know all the certain words to word it."
- Vanilla Ice, on why he hired a ghostwriter for his autobiography
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Headline
"Better make it six, I can't eat eight."
- Dan Osinski, Baseball player, being asked by a waitress if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices
"Football players win football games."
- Chuck Knox, coach
"If I know Mary as well as I think I do, she'll invite us right in for tea and strumpets."
-Lloyd, Dumb and Dumber
"Good looking people turn me off. Myself included."
- Patrick Swayze, Actor
"Every city I go to is an oppurtunity to paint, whether it's Omaha or Hawaii."
- Tony Bennett, Singer
"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Advertisement
"Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!"
-Lloyd, Dumb and Dumber
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"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump, on her first novel
"Push this button in case anything happens."
-Elevator in Osaka, Japan
"I invented the internet".
- Al Gore
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
- Dan Quayle
"Cars will not have Intercourse on this Bridge."
-Tokyo, Japan traffic sign
"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
- Sign in Budapest Zoo
"Where the hell is Australia anyway?"
- Britney Spears
"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole
"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
- Samuel Goldwyn
"You can't just let nature run wild."
- Wally Hickel, former Alaska governor
"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
- Dan Quayle
"Lack of brains hinders research."
- Headline
"a baby is on a car"
-Japanese "baby on board" sign
"Beyond its entertainment value, Baywatch has enriched and, in many cases
helped save lives. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to continue with a project which has has such a significance for so many."
- David Hasselhoff
"I can do anything you want me to do as long as I don't have to speak,"
-Linda Evangelista.
"In an action film you act in the action, in a drama film you act in the drama."
-Jean-Claude Van Damme
"You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say."
- Bill Clinton
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
- Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation
"Deals work best when each side gets something it wants from the other."
-Donald Trump
"And now the sequence of events in no particular order."
- Dan Rather
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"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry.
I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
- Mariah Carey
"My main hope for myself is to be where I am."
-Woody Harrelson
"Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon
"You can hardly tell where the computer models finish and the real dinosaurs begin"
-Laura Dern, on Jurassic Park
"I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time."
-Mariah Carey on hearing of the death of the King of Jordan.
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
- Dan Quayle
"It's like deja-vu all over again."
- Yogi Berra, Baseball player
"The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush."
- Sylvester Stallone
"I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians."
- Tommy Lasorda, former Dodger manager
"We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Dan Quayle
"Let them eat cake."
-Marie-Antoinette
"Yes,Sept 11th was unfortunate"
-Geri Halliwell
"Life is very important to Americans."
- Bob Dole
"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that."
- Bill Clinton
"I feel my best when I'm happy,"
-Winona Ryder
"They misunderestimated me."
-George W. Bush
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer
"My cat's breath smells like cat food!"
-Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- Dan Quayle
"...more and more of our imports are coming from overseas."
-George W. Bush
"To have your niece die in your arms is the greatest gift from god"
-Celine Dion
"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle
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