"DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS" - Utilities - http://maxpages.com/mike/THE_FINAL

CHAPTER TEN
the small victory for mankind

I got into my car and drove right out of the province. A strange force was calling me. I started wearing women's clothing and started singing Jefferson Airplane songs. I was screaming out "DON'T YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO LOVE!" when I passed the sign that said "Road Closed." By that time I realized that I was a human lemming. I careened off the cliff and felt the explosion just as I parachuted out of the car and landed in the Pink Bar and grill. Just then all the male spokespeople for Pepsi rushed at me and tried to make me do things I would not do only if I was paid a lot of money. I looked the stage and there was a dancing horse. I didn't mind the horse, but what the !^%#@ is a dancing horse doing in an all the Pink Bar and grill. I approached a very large Jewish African Albino named Marc. He was wearing a speedo and a duck helmet. I spanked him. He enjoyed it so much that he asked me to become a full time employee at his factory. I wondered why I spanked him in the first place. I wonder what the driving force was. The ceiling was ripped off by a Klingon Bird Of Prey. It blew up and it was replaced by an even cooler looking ship. I was beamed aboard and there was.......................................................... ..............................................................................................................................................................................................................a boo boo, no it was just.... Hanson! I quaked with fear as they shoved into cattle prods into me. They probed me with a sock puppet named Petty. I was so terrified I jumped out of the ship. I was going to fall to my instead I was caught by .Shannon Years She was the prime messenger of Hanson. She was the one that was going to help Hanson destroy the population of intelligent human beings by sending a sonic wave of their music down to Earth and annoying the *!&%^@&* out of the men, exploding their heads, and leaving the world with stupid -Shannon like thirteen year old girls that enjoy that crap. She told too much.
"You're insane, meager !*&%@!" I yelled,
"I know you are and what am I?"
"A mega !(#&%" I replied,
"I know you are and what am I?"
"A mega !(#&%" I replied,
"I know you are and what am I?"
"A mega !(#&%" I replied,
"I know you are and what am I?"
"A mega !(#&%" I replied,
"I know you are and what am I?"
"A mega !(#&%" I replied,
"What you say is what you are." Charlee replied,
"I'm the sexiest thing since lava lamps."
"*@%#$ you!"
She jumped on me and started kissing me and licking me all over. I couldn't do anything so I drank and smoked. And then, recited some poetry.

I saw the best minds of my generation destroy by madness,
starving, hysterical, naked,
dragging themselves through the Negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
Angel-headed hipsters! Burning!
for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo machinery ahgahgahahahahhah
instead of smoking in the supernatural darkness of cool watered flats,
floating across the tops of cites,
contemplating jazz,
saw a great light tragedy among the scholars of war...

"What the !&@#$ are you talking about?" Charlee asked,

"I said... I saw the best minds of my generation destroy by madness,
starving, hysterical, naked,
dragging themselves through the Negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
Angel-headed hipsters! Burning!
for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo machinery ahgahgahahahahhah
instead of smoking in the supernatural darkness of cool watered flats,
floating across the tops of cites,
contemplating jazz,
saw a great light tragedy among the scholars of war..."

"What?"

"I said... I saw the best minds of my generation destroy by madness,
starving, hysterical, naked,
dragging themselves through the Negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
Angel-headed hipsters! Burning!
for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo machinery ahgahgahahahahhah
instead of smoking in the supernatural darkness of cool watered flats,
floating across the tops of cites,
contemplating jazz,
saw a great light tragedy among the scholars of war..."

"What?"

"I said... I saw the best minds of my generation destroy by madness,
starving, hysterical, naked,
dragging themselves through the Negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
Angel-headed hipsters! Burning!
for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo machinery ahgahgahahahahhah
instead of smoking in the supernatural darkness of cool watered flats,
floating across the tops of cites,
contemplating jazz,
saw a great light tragedy among the scholars of war..."

"What make it easy for me to understand?"
"Get me some Fried Chicken woman!"

A few minutes later...
"Did you enjoy that?" I asked,
"Oh... okay..." Charlee answered,
"Ain't I the best you ever had?"
"Yeah... but that's not a very hard thing to do... because I'm a virgin."
"Well, if there is anything that I could have done... please tell me."
"Well... it would have been better if you moved."
"I didn't want to move."
"Why?"
"You pulled my groin."
"You asked me to."
"Not that hard."

When Shannon Years was asleep I placed a pillow over her face and smothered her to death. I did it to save the world. I was not going to let other young men have their heads blown apart by bad music. I threw the body off Niagara Falls and danced the Surrey Macerena. The large spaceship came down and an army of Hansons came down with elector pickle zappers. They pointed them at me and I dodged the elector blasts. I don't know how I got to Niagara Falls that fast but I sure hoped to get out of Niagara Falls. I went to a vending machine near the falls and bought an AK-47. I shot at the little @(^&$#&*@ and they turned into a big mess of gore and blood. They threw a flying cow at me and I repelled it by spraying Charlee's perfume at it. (which was also stolen)
"RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, EARTH MAN!" the Hanson army said in unison,
"Mmmmmmmbooooooop!" I yelled and killed the rest of the squadron,
Shannon Years sprung from the falls and pulled at my hair. I tossed her off of me.
"Traitor!" Shannon Years yelled,
"Shut up, woman!" I yelled,
What was left of Shannon Years. sprung at me again and I kicked her in the face. It was an epic battle to the death. Guess who won... me!!! I kicked her off Niagara Falls again. I rushed into the spaceship and kicked at the satellite weapon. It blew up and I found myself in a place of fire and brimstone. A great big man told me that I shouldn't have been sexist in the first place. And that was the only time I felt remorseful. If I wasn't sexist since I was born, I wouldn't be in this *(!%#&*! place! I hate picking up soap in the shower.

THE END

DID YOU EXPECT A BETTER ENDING YOU STUPID SON OF A B*TCH

gama@istar

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Page Updated Mon Sep 28, 1998 9:13pm EDT