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| WELCOME TO OUR MEN JOKES PAGE |
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| "HA, HA, HA, HA" |
This man went to the doctor because he had a problem. The doctor
asked him what was wrong and the man said his dick was orange. So
the doctor ran all the normal tests on him to see what was wrong. The
doctor did not find any thing wrong with the man so the doctor asked
the man if he lived next to a waste dump. The man said "NO". Then the
doctor asked him if he handled any toxic chemicals at work. Again the
man said "NO that he didn't have a job". So the doctor asked him what
he did all day long and the man said " I just sit around , watch Playboy
Channel, and Eat CHEETOS."
Submitted by Queen Nichole
why do men have slits in their underware? so they can get oxygen to
their brains.
Submitted by fred2
What did god say after he made Adam?
"I can do better than that." then he made Eve.
Submitted by Tomboy
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted
Submitted by Kaarina
How can you tell if a man is sexually active?
He's breathing!
Submitted by pebbles
A man is trying to impress a woman by making her think he's really
intelligent.
Man: I like waking early in the morning.
Woman: Are you sure you haven't missed an "n" out of that sentence?
Submitted by A-M
Q: Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for 40
years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions.
Submitted by Lisa
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off of his head.
Submitted by pebbles
Why do women work harder than men?
Women get it done right the first time.
Submitted by Star
Why is a man like a diaper?
because they are always on your ass, and they are usually full of shit.
Submitted by Sandy Q.
Three blondes run across a genie and he said that he would grant them
each one wish. The first blonde wished to be 50% smarter. POOF!
She's and burnette. The second one wished to be 25% smarter. POOF!
She's a redhead. The third one wished to be 50% dumber. POOF! She's
a blonde man!
Submitted by Kristi Olsen
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a non-lazy man (who helps out around the
house), and a lazy man are about to jump off a bridge into water. Who
makes the biggest splash?
The lazy man. The other 3 don't exist.
Submitted by JeniJones
why don't men do laundry?
cause the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!
Submitted by Joanie
Why do men have a hole at the end of their penis?
So they can think open-mindedly.
Submitted by Wooha
What's a man's idea of protected sex?
A padded headboard.
Submitted by Clere
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
A Lazy bitch.
Submitted by Martha C.
One day, God calls on Adam & says, "Adam, I have some good news
and some bad news. The good news is that I gave you a penis and a
brain. The bad news is that I only gave you enough blood to operate one
organ at a time."
Submitted by Darci
Why did God create men?
Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Submitted by Melissa
Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
So men can tell if they are coming or going.
Submitted by Susan A.
How are men like parking spaces?
The good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped
Submitted by Jessica
What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?
Gifted
Submitted by Jamie
What's the difference between a man and a cow?
One brain cell that prevents them from shitting all over the place!
Submitted by Louie
How are men and beer bottles alike?
They're both empty from the neck up.
Submitted by Dara C.
Why do woman fake orgasms?
Because men fake foreplay!
Submitted by Thahadious
Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes?
It had a penis AND a brain!
Submitted by Diane
How many men does it take to make popcorn?
Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.
Submitted by Laker
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
No one knows, it's never happened
Submitted by baby2th.
How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 1 (Men are good at screwing things up!)
Submitted by Megan M.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.
What is the difference between government bonds and men?
Government bonds mature.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes
What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
What did God say after he created man?
"I can do better than this."
How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle.
How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack.
How are men like noodles?
They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need
dough.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for
directions. |
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