WELOME TO OUR BLOND JOKE PAGE - "THIS SITE MAKES FUN OF BLOND WOMEN ITS FUNNY ALL READY" - Utilities

Q: Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet?

A: Because she didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

Submitted by Marta Komadowski

What do a blonde and a turtle have in common? When they fall on their
backs they're both screwed.

Submitted by yaya

There were a blonde and a brunette driving and the brunette goes to the
blonde"go check my blinker!"

"Does it work?"

Blonde:

"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"

Submitted by Nehcterg

There was a blonde who walked into a hair salon to get her hair done.
she said to the man "Please, I would like you to perm my hair, I'm
getting sick of it!" "Alright ma'm said the hair dresser, "but I need you to
take off your headphones first"

"No I can said the blonde "I have to keep them on" "Fine said the man.
So he did the perm then the lady left. About two months later, the lady
comes back in asking for her hair to be highlighed. The man said okay
but she would have to take off the headphones. But she insisted that she
keep them on.

The man did her hair then put her under the dryer. About 10 minutes
later, she was fast asleep. The man was curious as to why the
headphones were so important. So he took them off her head and she
stoped breathing. He put the headphones on and the tape said "Breathe
in, breathe out, breathe in breathe out...."

Submitted by Mackenzie

Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A: Way to go team.

Submitted by Keith M

There were 2 blondes in a movie theater. The first blonde says to the
second, "The man next to me is masturbating." The second says, "
ignore him." The first says, "I can't, he's using my hand!"

Submitted by Barrow

Three Blondes sitting at a bar. The were all chanting over and over "51
days...yes....51 days"...They were all so happy with each other. The
bartender was starting to become a bit curios when this occured for
quite a period of time.

He asked "You have been sitting here for 3 hours and all you say is 51
days...tell me why would three young ladies be sitting at a bar chanting
51 days ?"

"Well" replied on the girls"We today we completed a jigsaw puzzle that
took us 51 days"

"So!" replied the bartender.

"Well...on the box it says 3 - 5 years !"

Submitted by Amy

How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day??

She can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear!

Submitted by Alyak

Q: How do you know that a fax came from a blonde??

A: There is a stamp on it.

Submitted by Maria

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a
Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the
machine keeps feeding out drinks.

Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a
few minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else could
have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts: "Can't you see I'm
winning?!"

Submitted by Wizard 0411

What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back!

Submitted by James

Q:One day the Social Studies teacher asked a blonde to name all the
capitals in the United States Of America.
A:The blonde said easy U.S.A.

Submitted by K.L.F & D.A.R.

Q. What does a U.F.O and an intellegent blonde have in common?
A. You always hear about them... but you never see them!

Submitted by EDJ

What is it when you hear this:

vroom. screach. vroom. screach. vroom. screach.?
A blonde at a blinking stoplight.

Submitted by Heather

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was trying to make up her mind!!!

Submitted by Ace

A blonde was going to Paris and she had a coach seat. When she got on
the plane she sat in first class. A stuwardess came and told her to go into
coach she said she didn't have to. Another stuwardess came and said if
she didn't go in coach she would get the co-piolit. She said she wouldn't
move. The co-piolit came and whispered something in her ear and she
got up went to coach. The other two asked how he did it and he said he
told her this part of the plane wasn't goin to Paris.

Submitted by Nick

BLOND INVENTIONS

1.The solar power flashlight
2. Dehydrated water
3.Fire proof matches

Submitted by HAPPY:o)

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.

What was she doing there in the first place?
Raking leaves

How do you make a group of blonde's commit mass suicide?
Put mirrors at the bottom of a pool.

Submitted by Kellogg Krew

Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Who knows it has never been done!!!!!!!

Submitted by P.O.'d Brunnetts

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain
announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There
is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than
scheduled, but we still have three engines left."

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed
and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we
can fly just fine on two engines."

An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and
our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry ... we
still have one engine left."

A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and
remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

Submitted by Hugh

There were three blonds: Mindy, the smartest, Lindy, semi-smart and
Candy, really dumb. They were spys. They were in Russia when they
got caught. At Mindy's execution they said: any last words. So she said
tornado,tornado! The soldiers left and Mindy went home.

On lindy's execution day they said the same thing and she said
hurricane, >hurricane! Lindy joined Mindy back home.

On Candy's execution day they also said the same thing and she
answered: fire,fire! so they fired and killed her!

Submitted by Allie

Q:Why did blonde throw a puppy on a bun & in the microwave?
A:She wanted a hotdog.

Submitted by Krovak

A blonde and a brunette are sitting in a bar and watching the 11:00 P.M.
news. A man is standing on the ledge of a high-rise building,
contemplating suicide.

The brunette says to the blonde: "I'll bet you $20.00 that the man jumps
off that building and commits suicide."

The blonde thinks for a moment then replies: "OK, you're on!"

They watch for a few minutes and sure enough, the man jumps off the
ledge. The blonde sighs and reaches for her wallet, but the brunette
stops her, saying: "I can't take your money - I feel too guilty. I have to
confess that I watched the 6:00 P.M. news this evening and I knew that
the man would jump.

The blonde replied: "Oh! I watched the 6:00 P.M. news too, but I didn't

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Page Updated Mon Sep 28, 1998 9:13pm EDT