Things To Do In: - Jokes - http://maxpages.com/melsjokes/Things_To_Do_In

Things to do in the bathroom stall: (Thanks again to Luke for this one...)

Ways to annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate-

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,"May I
borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a
bodily function noise

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Damn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe
into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under
the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa ! Easy boy !!"

11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet
paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,
"Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am
I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt
cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down your
"Cross-Dressors Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visiable to
the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can
see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

***

THINGS TO DO ON AN ELEVATOR:

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go
back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong
ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know
what floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After
awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then
scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask
if they have an appointment.

9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if
they hear something ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures
and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't
panic, they open up again."

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut
up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside,
ask,"Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror,
"You're one of THEM" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce,
"I have new socks on."

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers, "This is my personal space

mel@melsjokes.com

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Page Updated Sun Jul 16, 2000 10:41am EDT