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| Thanks to Nick for these ones!! THINGS I’VE LEARNT FROM BOND, JAMES BOND. 1) No matter how bad the torture is, you will still survive. 2) If someone has been blown up by a traitor’s bomb, they will still come back to your rescue. If they are shot when the come to your aid, they will have a gun hidden in their cane that they can shoot loose one of your shackles with. 3) If you are shot in the brain, you can still live, but also become a superhuman that feels nothing. 4) If there is a girl involved, you will win at the Blackjack table. 5) You will always escape from life threatening situations. 6) The bad guy always leaves you enough time to escape. 7) The villain will reveal their diabolical plan to you leaving you with enough time to foil it. 8) If not, you will figure it out in time to save the world. 9) Even lesbians will sleep with you… 10) Sex is casual, frequent, and happens anywhere… 11) Madmen that are set on conquering the world will never use guns. They prefer over elaborate traps that are easily escapable. 12) On every mission you participate in, a Russian, or Russia, will always be mentioned. 13) Even torture can look sexual… 14) The corny remarks always manage to woo the women. 15) Corny one liners are actually as far as your wit extends. 16) Your boss and chief armourer are always referred to with letters… 17) There is always a gadget that will provide comic relief in the movie. 18) If not comic, the gadget will be used to aid your sex life. 19) There is no more negotiating in terrorist situations. 20) Those gadgets Q lent you will always be destroyed… 21) Although your identity is supposed to be a secret, there are a million and one web sites devoted to you… 22) Your friends and lovers are either the super rich or the mega smart… 23) The bad guy will always die in some terrible, terrible way… 24) You can get anything you want be just dropping your pants… 25) Although, dropping your pants is probably the only thing you want to do… |
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