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movies
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The Quotes
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| The Quotes |
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| "Have you ever noticed anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And anyone going faster is a maniac" -George Carlin "I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain." -Carol Leifer "I went into McDonalds yesterday and said "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said "Would you like some fries with that" -Jay Leno "I am desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets" -Dave Edison "If it weren't for electricity we would all be watching television by candlelight." -George Gobel "Don't spend 2 dollars to have a shirt dry cleaned. Donate it to the Salvation Army. they'll clean it and put it on a hangar. Next morning you can buy it back for 75 cents" -William Coronel "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." -Oscar Wilde "Maybe there is no actual place called Hell. Maybe Hell is just having to listen to our Grandparents breathe through their noses when they are eating sandwiches." -Jim Carrey My Mom said she had learned how to swim. She said someone took her out on the lake in a boat and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said: "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim" -Paula Poundstone "Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives." -Sue Murphy "Why does Sea World have a sea food restaurant? I am halfway through my fish burger when I realize "Oh my god.... I could be eating a slow learner" -Lynda Montgomery "Why is it that when we talk to God we call it praying When God talks to us we are schizophrenic" -Lily Tomlin "I'll tell you how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said "Gee, we're enjoying the crime and the poverty but it isn't cold enough. Let's go west" -Richard Jeni "I think Mankind wants a Rock burger with a side of Rock sauce!" -The Rock "I came. I saw. And I came again!" -Val Venis "Mankind has had more concussions than Elizabeth Taylor has had husbands!" -Jerry Lawler "Ken Shamrock has all his different holds. Well I've got news for you! I don't know how to get out of a damn one of them!" -Mankind "It takes a good man to beat me, it just doesn't take them very long" -Makind "I can't jump very high so I jump from high Places."--Cactus Jack. "Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat"--Jess Ventura "Just when you think you have the answers I change the questions."--Roddy Piper. "Vader your always asking what time it is , well it looks like Jenny Craig time to me pal."--HHH "This kid's so dumb, he stayed up all night studying for a urine test."--Jim Cornette "I'm not a racist like Bret Hart, I hate everyone equally."--Jerry Lawler "I'll bring the pain, all you need to do is show up"--Shawn Micheals "You'll have to talk louder,remember Jack's only got one ear"-Cactus Jack "You hit the nail right on the thumb" -Jerry Lawler |
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