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| Clinton Jokes Q.what does bill clinton say to his interns as they leave his office? A.dont bump your head on the desk Q.what has four legs and smells like fish? A.clintons desk Q.why does clinton wear flannel boxers? A.to keep his ankles warm Q.What is the worst golf foursome? Monica lewinsky, OJ simpson, teddy kenedy, and clinton WHY??? A.beacuse lewinsky is a hooker, oj is a slicer, kenedy cant keep his drives out of the water, and clinton does not know what hole to put it in. Blonde Jokes Q.how do you drown a blonde? A.put a scractch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool Q.What did the blonde say when her boyfriend blew in her ear? A.Thanks for the refill, honey. Q.Why was the blonde staring at the Orange juice container for an hour? A.It said: 'concentrate' on the label. Q.What is a blonde with half a brain. A.Gifted Q.Why does a blonde keep a wire coat hanger in the back seat of her car? A.In case she locks her keys in. Q.How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? A.Shine a flashlight in her ear. Q.How do you know when a blonde has been working on your computer? A.There's white out on the screen and lipstick on the joystick! Q.How do you keep a blonde busy all day. A.Write 'Turn Over' on two sides of a piece of paper. Q.What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg? A.Nothing. They have never met! Q.A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.' The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says 'I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.' The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot. The co- pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replies, 'I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica'. Dirty and disgusting jokes Q.Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A.So he could run his fingers through his hair. Q.Why are Santa's balls so big? A.Because he only comes once a year. Q.Why don't men like to wear condoms? A.Because it cuts off circulation to their brains! Q.Why did Minnie Mouse get kicked out of the sand box? A.She sat on Pinnochio's nose and said, 'Lie to me! Lie to me! Q.What do you have when you have two green balls in your hand? A.Kermit's undivided attention Q.Old Mother Hubbard went to her cubbard to fetch her old dog a bone, But when she bent over Rover took over and she had a bone of her own. Q.What's hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet in the middle, that starts with a C and ends in a T? A.A coconut. Q.A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacist says 'Would you like me to stick that on your bill?' The duck says 'What kind of duck do you think I am!' Q.What do you get when you put the energizer bunny batteries in backward. A.He keeps coming and coming and coming Q.Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? A.Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69. Q.How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A.Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper. redneck Q.You can tell when you're a Redneck when you walk with your son to school because you're in the same grade. Q.You might be redneck if you can french kiss your girlfriend without parting your teeth. Q.What do you call foreplay in Alabama? A.'Hey sis, you awake? You know you're a redneck when your family tree has only one branch in it, and it loops. You know you are a redneck when you go to a family reunion to pick up chicks. You know you're a redneck when at your wedding you toast with Budweiser. You might just be a red neck if you house has wheels and your car doesn't other jokes Q.what do you get when you cross viagra and rogain? A.Don King Q.what is the difference between the spice girls movie and a porno? A.The music is better in the porno well thats it for now, please e-mail me with any suggestions |
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