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| if you eat one chicken for lunch, and another for dinner, do you wonder if they ever knew each other? if the shoe fits, find another one just like it. Sometimes, when I lie in bed at night and look up at the stars, I think to myself, "Man! I really need to fix that roof." Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door. If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine. Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books. If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting the vulture. If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now. I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money." The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. "Uh-oh," he thought. "This watering hole is reserved for skeletons." If you ever fall off the Twin Towers, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone. I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it. I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that. please e-mail me with any quotes you have!!!!!!!!  click on the moose!! click on the hand!!! |
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