Well, counting down the top ten video games ever created is my job, and I promise that I will put the upmost effort into this task, sir!
The tenth best is probably Lylat Wars, on the good ol' Nintendo 64. It is amazing how well it stands up to today's titles, like the (inferior) Battlestar Galactica, Rogue Squadron and all of those other 'flying' games. This wipes the floor with 'em. I was still shocked and annoyed when I found out that the Andross (the final boss) I had beaten countless times was a FAKE! I was also happy when I discovered that Fox McCloud's (the main character) dad was alive, but I have yet to actually SEE that ending. But don't worry, I'm workin' on it. Anyway, this is still the best game of it's genre IN THE WORLD.
Taking up slot nine is Mario Kart DS. As you'll see from my review, I highly enjoy getting hit in the backside by cheaty AI. But seriously, this is the most legendary driving game I have experienced. The online takes it to an entirely new level, so you can beat people all over the world! MWU-HA-HA! Anyways, I once beat a German and an Aussie whilst sitting on the toilet. Yes, this is true, and I think it would make a great catchphrase for this game! Just picture it, on the box in BIG, GOLD writing, soem text reads,
"Beat Germans and Aussies while squeezing out a Number Two!" Yes, it's slightly sick, but it would be hilarious. Fact. Anyway, just get this game and beware of seeing SilverWolf with a cool Big Boss avatar on the Opponents screen.
Number eight. Not a tough one, this. I'm gonna have to say Star Wars Battlefront ONE. Notice the one up there and rejoice that I will not be seduced by, "Being able to play as a Jedi and battle in space!" as the advert so politely tells us. The sequel just tries to cram to much in to attempt to improve on an already prfect original. So, keeping the sequel out of your brain here, just think of the joys of the first one. The spectacular Kashykk Docks level brings back fnd memories of getting 171 kills and NO deaths in my highest scoring battle EVER! But I DID stay in a tank the whole way through...
Number seven HAS to be The Legend of Zelda : The Wind Waker. I absolutely HATED IT'S GUTS when I first played it, but I was young and naive back then. I love it to bits now, the cute little thing! But I can see why I hated the Forest Temple thingy (the dungeon on Forest Haven) : I still do. I am strange in that I HATE the dungeons whereas they are basically everyone else's favourite bit. Ugh. Also, I loved the sailing sections but everyone else hates them. Oh well, the whole world can just be plain wrong sometimes (do you know, Morse 'Code' is actually called Morse. The world invented the code bit, proving it can be a right wally sometimes. I'm not lying, look it up!) Anyway, I have friends who, based on a TINY demo, told me that,
"It's so boring, all you do is walk around and stuff." This infuriates me, as they are too shallow-minded to realise this games beauty. Laugh at them.
Sixth is Animal Crossing. Oh, Animal Crossing... Good times... If you read Nintendo Official Magazine UK (you should) then you will know that games in Europe had to actually PETITION to get this game over here. I salute them, as this is one of the finest games you will ever have the honour to play. It is addictive, zany and, overall, an absolute JOY to play. It is the game that wins the award for keeping me going back to it for longest. I played on it almost everyday for a WHOLE YEAR. Seriously! And I wnet on it again randomly a few days ago, and it's as amazing as ever. Incredibly, all my favourites (Paulo, Bob and Tybalt) are STILL THERE, proving they love me as much as I love them, so they REFUSE to move away. Awww, Animal Crossing, I LOVE you!
Okay, with fifth place under it's belt walks in Destroy All Humans. It's in disguise as one of us homosapiens, and as it walks up to the podium everyone cheers, It feeds us a ridiculous story about hot-air balloons, and then when we're all clapping it pulls out a gun and transforms into an evil alien, a Furon. It disintegrates us all before sucking our green brains out of our corpse, and then chucking our dead body at a police officer to knock him out. I just described a scene from Destroy All Humans, and that should pretty much tell you everything you need to know.
Number four, getting close to the medals here, is probably Burnout 3. Yes, I have finally seen the light and bought a driving game. Now, this is subject to change as I've only had it for, like, a week, but I don't think you can beat SLAMMING into cars at two-hundred MPH on a crowded higway, causing an enormous chain reaction of sparks and shrapnel. After I'm done with this (which is taking absolutely AGES, by the way) I'll probably get Burnout 4, but it can' match this. Nuh uh.
In third place, the bronze medal, is Mercenaries : Playground of Destruction. It's quite magnificent fun being a Merc, and you should try it. No, not for real, you spanner, but in this game. It's amazing how requently I find myself grinning after ordering down a Bunker Buster strike from the skies, cauing the ENORMOUS explosion to bring the entire city to the ground. Amazing and, quite frankly, disturbingly fun.
IT'S SECOND PLACE! OMG! ROTFLMAO! LOL? Yeah, in second place it's kind of a tie between Ultimate Spider-Man and Sonic Rush. They may have scored lower than Mercenaries, but I'll remember them more fondly. The swinging round the city of USM, and the speeding round the jungle of SR. I just can't choose. Would you rather be able to run REALLY fast, and I mean REALLY REALLY fast, or be Spider-Man? Oh. Okay, USM is the WINNER! of the Second Place tussle. Bye-bye, Sonic. But he can be joint third. Poor hedgehog. Oh, no, wait! He's running up to me! He's boosting into me-ARRGHH! Okay, you're BOTH joint Second! Oh, great, now Spidey's walking up to me... RUN!
Okay, the big one, the BEST videogame in history, the ultimate great one out of the perfects, is............. THREE games! And they are, in the worst to best :
Metal Gear Solid 2 : Substance, Metal Gear Solid : The Twin Snakes, and THE BEST GAME EVEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR........
METAL GEAR SOLID 3 : SNAKE EATER! It is absolutely amazing, and seeing as I gave it the only perfect score I'll EVER GIVE, you kinda' knew that this was gonna be the one, didn't ya'?! Oh well, you all know how great it is if you've read my review, and if you haven't, well, get to it! This is subject to change as Metal Gear Solid 3 : Subsistence comes out in two days, so this might not win, but it'll always be the greatest in my mind, heart and soul... *sniff*
*salutes and sings along to Snake Eater*
IIIIIII'MMMMMMMM STIIIIIIIIIILLLLLL, IN A DREEEEEEEAAAAAMMMMMMMMM, SNAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEAAAAAAAATTTTTTEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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