I am The Commentator. I have warned everyone of my coming in the guestbook. Now it is upon you, puny mortals. MWU-HA-HA! Ahem. Well, I shall be commentating (duh) on the amazing events that are about to unfold. How do I know they are going to happen, I hear you ask. Well, fool, I am special. If you hadn't seen that by now, then in the near future you will perish in flames. Yes, you will. P.S, I will be commentating in novel form, as I am extraordinarily gifted in all areas of life.

On Richmond Green, it was fated to be a largely uneventful day. The gentle wind scattered leaves around the field, blowing them this way and that like a farmer sheperding sheep. A woman sat in a car parked next to the green, eating her lunch. She was basking in the silence of the area, when a noise like a stampede could suddenly be heard, growing louder by the second. It was in fact a stampede of sorts. It was actually 90 angry schoolchildren, charging to secure a place in the shade with their friends. But a group at the front were charging at a speed that was so immense, their bodies quickly became blurs. They were charging after an escaped donkey, named Dott. When they finally caught up with the creature, it laughed and-to the amazement of the children-spoke. "Come onnnnnnn!!!!!!!" it shouted, beckoning with it's sturdy hooves. I, The Commentator, was one of the spectators. I saw what was happening and immediately rushed over to interview this newly arisen legend. I ran alongside it and asked, " Dott, how do you feel about being the world's first talking donkey?"

Dott ran with all his might. He was now becoming nervous, and was starting to regret some of the decisions he had made in his life. What would the kids do if they caught him? Not that they could, of course, Dott reassured himself. But what lengths would they go to in order to catch him? Why did they even want to catch him? Well, Dott didn't care. He just wanted to prove he was the greatest organism on the planet. He wanted to shut up the world by defeating all these hyper-active kids. Single Handed. Dott was thinking all of this whilst hiding behind a tree, cowering in fear. Suddenly, he heard a small boy's voice cry, " Ay, look! It's Dott, it is!" Dott grunted in annoyance and set off again.

The children had caught Dott. He found himself strapped to a table, his hooves strapped down. Snathan, the leader of the children, slapped him round the face. "Who are you working for?" "Wha-" Then, Dott realised. He had stolen a golden horse shoe from the children's base. "Uh, I'm not actually working for anyone. But you can have the horse shoe back, if you want." "Where is it?" "On my foot, I mean hoof." Snathan snatched it and left the dimly lit room. "I haven't finished with you yet, Dott!" As soon as the door shut, Dott used all his strength and managed to break free of the straps. He left the room and found himself in a huge field. "Good place to hide a base", he thought. Suddenly, an alarm siren wailed, adn several kids came out of a door, holding BB guns. Reese the fleeced, Carrotman the orange, and Jack-who-broke-his-back, who had nothing wrong with his back whatsoever. "Oh no," Dott groaned.

"FREEZE!" screamed Jack-Who-Broke-His-Back. Dott grinned, then did a backflip. He soared through the air like a flying squirrel in slow motion, then landed in a heap exactly like flying squirrels don't. All the guards were frozen for a second, then burst out laughing. Dott took his chance, and ran. He ran like a gazelle for about 2 seconds, then started running like a donkey again. After a while, Dott saw someone up ahead and stopped. The person stood still, then somehow came to be right in front of Dott in an instant, like he had teleported or something along those uncanny lines. It brought up one of it's two skeletal hands, and began pulling down a hood that covered his face. His rasping voice said, "I am....." Dott was rooted to the spot. "I am....... BOB!" He pulled down his hood to reveal an ugly, spotty, teenage face. Dott shook his head and ran on.

Eventually, Dott found himself cornered by Rhese, Jack and many other COs(Commanding Officers). For the second time in this ludicrous and unrealistic chain of events, they all shouted, "FREEZE!!!!!!!" Dott reluctantly obeyed. He was again taken to Snathan's base. When he arrived, he was strapped to a chair. Snathan walked in again. "Hmmmmmm...Deja-Vu!" Snathan joked. Badly. He then lifted up Dott's golden horseshoe, or donkeyshoe. "You see this, my friend" Snathan began, "Is the fabled golden horse shoe of yore." "Meaning?" Dott questioned. "It's a horse shoe that could make me a couple of quid." "Ooooooohhhhhhhh... What does that mean?" Snathan sighed and shook his head. He then left Dott alone and turned the light off, immediately transforming the room into a cold, dank, dark prison of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem. Yeah, anyway... Ummmmmmm... Okay, join me whenever I decide to update for the grand finale offfffffffff... DONKEY RIDERS!!!!!!! Dan-Dan-Dan-DAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Dott knew he was going to have to escape. But how? Both his hooves were strapped to the chair. Ah-ha! He had once been told he had the most horrible voice that could and would break glass if he sang in a small room. Dott lifted his head, closed his eyes and opened his mouth... Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh...Lllloooottttieee'sss aaaatttt iiittt aaagggaaaaiiiin, OOOOHHHH Lllloooottttiiieeesss aaaattt iiiitttt aaaaagggggaaaaaiiiiinnnn-" The black, one-way windows smashed open, and two shards of glass cut his straps. Dott smiled. He was free. Now, to get the horseshoe... Snathan, Reese the fleeced and all the other guards were enjoying a huge celebration in the main room in this house of EEEEEEVVVVVIIIIIILLLLLLL!!!!!!! so Dott was able to sneak past relatively easily and grab the golden donkeyshoe. As soon as he had it safely grasped in his hooves, he crept out of the door. Dott was frrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! He gallopped through the open fields, towards the setting sun, which had bathed the grass in a goldie-pinky light. Dott gallopped towards his freedom, his quest accomplished. Later that night on the field, Bob the teenager ran after where he thought Dott had gone. "Can I have your autograph?!" THE END