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The Name Macedonia
Information about Maria
View of Greek Australians
History of PAOK
South Melbourne Soccer Club
KISS ARMY
Block Head Quotes
Personal Resume
Greek Revolution 1821
Archive JOKES
My Brothers Malakias
Parthenon Marbles
Todays Crystal Ball Reading
PARTY OF THE YEAR
The Great Alexander
The Beauty of N Pella
About people close to me
Wacky Horoscopes
What Does Your Name Mean
ITS FUNNY CAS ITS TRUE
Did You Know
JOKES FOR THE DAY
Wheres Maria
I HAVE LEARNED
Fast Facts
Ancient Quotes
quotes
macedoniaJust When You Thought You Knew|
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| IT'S FUNNY 'CAS IT'S TRUE |
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| YOU KNOW YOU'RE GREEK IF...... - You have a cousin called Jim. - You have a Monaro or Holden or a Valiant **an Aussie made Greek Chariot** - Your hair looks like an oil slick - You say "Sick" every thirty seconds - There are no such things as a girl - there's only "chicks" - You say "Chickybabe" every time anyone in a skirt walks past you. - You wear or at least own a gold chunky bracelet. - Garlic is considered a main meal. - Olive oil is like a drug- you can't survive without it. - You don't know half your relatives. - You have a wedding at least twice a year. - You're related to half of Melbourne. - An uncle's wife's third cousin relates you to a friend. - You or at least most of your uncles own a spit. - You consider your group "Da Boyz" - You say "Re" at the end of each sentence - When greeting one of the boys, it's always "Ela re!" - You wear sunnies at night and consider it normal. - You smell like an aftershave factory. - There is no five o' clock shadow - You have a five o' clock beard. - You wear a Bond's t-shirt. - You think spitting is attractive. - You consider soccer the eighth wonder of the world. - Your cheeks receive their weekly work out every time you visit an aunt. - You need to wax your back and you are only 10. - You have a shrine dedicated to Diego Maradona - Your last name ends with: s, opolous, os, as, or is - Your last name consists of the entire alphabet. - You have a relation called Maria, Mario or Michael, Con, George or Bill. - Your CD collection consists of Black Sabbath, Kiss, Led Zeppelin and ACDC - You have connections to the Mafia. - You walk passed a window, and reflexes make you adjust your hair. - It takes you hours to do the shopping at Oakleigh - relatives stop you for conversations. - You have a relative in the farming business. - A family member owns a "fish and chip" shop. - You consider it a personal insult if you are called a Greek-Australian - You're Greek and thats that. - Kissing your great-aunts is like kissing a cat - whiskers get in the way. - Hanging out with wogboys is like a game of follow the leader - if one goes somewhere, the rest will follow. - You have a vegie patch in your yard. - You hang around McDonald's carparks at night and rev your car, and think it's cool. - You and da boyz go to parties in droves. - You tell your parents you're seeing someone and they start sending out wedding invitations. - You're home an hour late and you're already listed as a missing person. - You're Dad has those old Greek tapes in the car, and plays them on family drives. Especially in the vicinity of attractive members of the opposite sex. - Your parents continually tell you the tale of walking 50 miles barefoot in the snow to get to school. - You break a leg, and your grandmother thinks your life is over. - Fluffy dice, or a crucifix hang from your rear-view mirrors - You refer to your mother as "My old woman". - You refer to your father as "The Old Man". - When talking on the phone, you always ask ten questions, and don't bother waiting for replies. - You tell your parents you're having a party. They buy out the whole supermarket. - It doesn't matter if people can't hear what you're talking about - you talk so much with your hands that people know what you're on about anyway. - You kiss people on both cheeks. - You go to a wedding, and take a fancy to one of the guests. Later you discover that the guest is somehow related to you. - You go to a wedding, and are introduced to cousins that you never knew existed. - As far as you're concerned, there's only one sporting goods company - adidas - Johnny Walker's your best mate - You tell your mother you're not hungry and she thinks you have an eating disorder. - Your conversations are based on one of two topics: Sex or sport. - In your world, there's no such thing as a girlfriend. You either have a "bird" or your "chick". - You don't walk... You strut. - The hair is off limits. - Your parents made you go to Greek school, even though your teacher didn't speak a word of English. - You use a mobile in a nightclub and consider it normal - You spend half an hour on your mobile talking to your friend who's on the other side of the room. - You can recite all Rocky films. - You're 35 and think you look cool cruising down Chapel pumping Brittany Spears. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GREEK IF... You have ever had loukoumades Can distinguish between kefalotiri and kefalograviera You can spell kefalograviera You're an adult and are forced to be with your family at 12 midnight on New Year's eve Upon meeting another Greek, one of Your first questions is, "What church do You go to?" Your grandmother/mother/aunt has a miracle cure for everything. If You're a girl, Your mother still tries to put those pony tail holders with the BIG plastic balls on the end on Your hair. If You're a guy, Your mother still tries to make You wear that super frilly dress shirt with that huge bow tie, because it looked so cute when You were 7. You Can name any or all of the gods on Mount Olympus Your mother or father still feels the need to tell you, "katse kala" in public You have ever been hit with a pandofla Can dance kalamatiano, tsiamiko, zebetiko without music Go to church picnics pretending You're there for reasons other than to check up/gossip about other Greeks You or a family member has been photographed with a donkey You must name Your children after Your in-laws You have at least 5 Maria's and 9 Dimitri's in Your family as a result of the above You have ever heard the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo sou" You have one or more of those porcelain figurines in your house You have ever broken one of those porcelain figurines and your mother still hasn't forgiven You Your parents have ever made up the name of a street/store/TV show because they couldn't remember it or they couldn't pronounce it You still get scared when you hear the name "Baboola" Upon meeting another Greek you try to find out what village they're from You or a family member wears their Sunday best to go to the laundromat or grocery shopping Have ever been threatened by a Greek School teacher Still get threatened by a Greek School teacher even though You're 30 years old Have ever been spanked by Your friend's parents because your parents gave them permission to Have ever been spanked by the whole neighbourhood because your parents gave them permission to You go to a wedding or a baptism and complain about the food, but are the first one to ask for a "to go" plate You know someone who always feels the need to point out how much something they bought costs You have a bottle of OUZO in Your house right now Know what a komboloi is Know how to work a komboloi You or a family member has ever been injured/killed over a komboloi When You were Younger and going on car trips, You always had to sit on someone's lap in the front or back seat You have ever been threatened to be eaten by the mavro/baboola/yero/pontiki when you were little Someone in Your family owns any type of restaurant Your family inheritance includes olive trees You are surprised to find that the local pet store does not sell goats You Can't understand why McDonald's rejected Your idea for the "McFeta" sandwich Your entire house is a needlepoint warehouse --------------------------------------------------------------------- Greek-English Translations: Greek: English: Proper Translation: Tha se allaxo ta lambakia I will change your lightbulbs I will beat you up Tha se gamiso sto xilo I will fuck you on the wood I will beat you up Sta archidia mou On my balls Dicks!!!! Ta matia sou 14 Your eyes 14 Stay alert Min to sizitas file Dont discuss it Forget about it Ah sto dialo malaka Go to the devil poofter Go to hell Embros?? Go!! Hello, how are you? Eho plexei ta boutia mou I have knitted my thighs Im in deep shit Eheis kanei ti kardia mou You have turned my heart into You broke my heart perivoli a garden Gamoti boutana mou mesa Fuck the whore inside me Fuckin shit Tha gini tis boutanes to gagelo It will happen the prostitutes There's going to be trouble fence Eheis vgali poli aera You have taken out a lot of air Your getting to cocky Endaxi Megale OK Big No worries mate ------------------------------------------------------------------ Greek gardening: by Lou Louthi Greek journalism: by Effie Meritha Greek cooking: by Pat Stichio and Lou Koumades Greek reading and comprehension: by Dan Katalaveno Greek confectionary: by Ma Stiha Greek shoemaking: by Pa Poutsis Greek yoga: by Guru Nee Greek pencil making: by Moe Levy Greek dancing (Indian Style): by Chief Teteli Greek disappearing acts: by Anna Hathis -------------------------- TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN : 1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes 2. Unembarrassed to wear fur 3. No need to worry about tax returns 4. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 AD 5. Can wear sunglasses inside 6. Political stability 7. Flexible working hours 8. Live near the Pope 9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hairs 10. Country run by Sicilian murderers --------------------- |
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