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The Name Macedonia
Information about Maria
View of Greek Australians
History of PAOK
South Melbourne Soccer Club
KISS ARMY
Block Head Quotes
Personal Resume
Greek Revolution 1821
Archive JOKES
My Brothers Malakias
Parthenon Marbles
Todays Crystal Ball Reading
PARTY OF THE YEAR
The Great Alexander
The Beauty of N Pella
About people close to me
Wacky Horoscopes
What Does Your Name Mean
ITS FUNNY CAS ITS TRUE
Did You Know
JOKES FOR THE DAY
Wheres Maria
I HAVE LEARNED
Fast Facts
Ancient Quotes
quotes
macedoniaJust When You Thought You Knew|
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| JOKE OF THE DAY |
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| ---------------------- YOU KNOW YOU'RE GREEK IF... you have ever had loukoumades can distinguish between kefalotiri and kefalograviera you can spell kefalograviera are an adult and are forced to be with your family at 12 midnight on new years eve upon meeting another Greek, one of your first questions is, "What church do you go to?" your grandmother/mother/aunt has a miracle cure for everything if you're a girl, your mother still tries to put those pony tail holders with the BIG plastic balls on the end on your hair. If you're a guy, your mother still tries to make you wear that super frilly dress shirt with that huge bow tie, because it looked so cute when you were 7 you can name any or all of the gods on Mount Olympus your mother or father still feels the need to tell you, "katse kala" in public you have ever been hit with a pandofla can dance kalamatiano, tsiamiko, zebetiko without music go to church picnics pretending you're there for reasons other than to check up/gossip about other Greeks you or a family member has been photographed with a donkey you must name your children after your in-laws you have at least 5 Maria's and 9 Dimitri's in your family as a result of the above you have ever heard the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo sou" you have one or more of those porcelain figurines in your house you have ever broken one of those porcelain figurienes and your mother still hasn't forgiven you your parents have ever made up the name of a street/store/tv show because they couldn't remember it or they couldn't pronounce it you still get scared when you hear the name "Baboola" upon meeting another Greek you try to find out what village they're from you or a family member wears their Sunday best to go to the laundromat or grocery shopping have ever been threatened by a Greek School teacher Still get threatened by a Greek School teacher even though your're 30 years old have ever been spanked by your friend's parents because your parents gave them permission to have ever been spanked by the whole neighborhood because your parents gave them permission to you go to a wedding or a baptism and complain about the food, but are the first one to ask for a "to go" plate you know someone who always feels the need to point out how much something they bought costs you have a bottle of OUZO in your house right now know what a komboloi is know how to work a komboloi you or a family member has ever been injured/killed over a komboloi when you were younger and going on car trips, you always had to sit on someone's lap in the front or back seat you have ever been threatened to be eaten by the mavro/baboola/yero/pontiki when you were little someone in your family owns any type of restaurant your family inheritance includes olive trees you are suprised to find that the local pet store does not sell goats you can't understand why McDonald's rejected your idea for the "McFeta" sandwich your entire house is a needlepoint warehouse -------------------------- Barbie --------------- A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant. In a condescending manner she responds, "Which Barbie? We have ... - Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95 - Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95 - Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95 - Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95 - Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95 - and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE FEMALE RULES 1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES. 5. The Female is never wrong. 6. If it appears the Female is wrong,it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong. 7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding. 8. The Female can change her mind at any time. 9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female. 10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset. 12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset. 13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times. 14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said. 15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp. 16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim. 17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deployment Planning A guy met a girl at a nightclub, and she invited him back to her place for the night. When they arrived at her house, they went right into her bedroom. The guy saw that the room was filled with stuffed animals. There were hundreds of them all over the place. Giant stuffed animals were on top of the wardrobe. Large stuffed animals were on the bookshelf and on the window sill, and a lot of smaller stuffed animals were on the bottom shelf. Much later, after they had sex, he turned to her and asked, "So ... how was I?" "Well," she said, "You can take anything from the bottom shelf." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have three wishes each. Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that M r. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish. Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!" ----------------- |
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