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| Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline |
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| 1-800-IAMNUTS |
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| If you are obsessive-compulsive, plese press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone else to press 2. If you have multiple person personalities, please press 3,4,5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want, Just stay on the line so we can trace you. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. |
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