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Cool lyric of the week
Links
linksThe Simpsons
The best cartoon on tvSimpsonsfriends
the best show on tv Friendshott guys @ central
hott guyshott guys at centraljokes
blonde jokesshout outz
shout outz 2 all muh peeps|
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| Blonde Jokes |
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| i know that girl has brown hair, but she is a natural blonde who tried 2 color her hair~ |
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| these jokes were all from pete except the last two! i would like 2 thank pete for these jokes, he is a sweet, hott, nice guy who has helped me a lot w/ this web site, and he gave me these jokes! THANX SOO MUCH PETE! I MISS YOU!!!!god i just talked to u on the fone! ur voice is sooo sexy! Q. How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? A. Shine a flashlight in her ears. Q. What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? A. You hear about them all the time, but you never see one. Q. A blonde and a brunette are pushed out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first? A. The brunette, because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions. Q. What do you call 25 blondes standing ear to ear? A. A wind tunnel. Q. What do you call 10 blondes in a refridgerator? A. Frosted Flakes. Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A. You can park in the handicap zone. Q. How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A. There's white-out on the screen. Q. How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A. There's writing on the white-out. Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine. Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? A. "Thanks for the refill!" Q. Why do blondes have more fun? A. They are easier to keep amused. Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? A. To see what was on the other side. Q. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? A. Pull the pin and throw it back. Q. How do you drown a blonde? A1. Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2. Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. Q. What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A. Change. Q. Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months? A. Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years. Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. Q. What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A. Spot. Q. How do you drive a blonde crazy? A. Give her a bag of M & M s and tell her to alphabetize them. Q. What goes: VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH? A. A blonde going through a flashing red light. Q. Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A. She missed. Q. What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase? A. "It's okay Daddy, I'm not hurt." Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of a Mercedes with a coat hanger: Blonde #1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde #2: Well you better hurry up and try harder, because it's starting to rain and the top is down! Q. How do you confuse a blonde? A. Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner. Did you hear about the blonde who locked her keys in the car? It took her an hour to get her family out of the car. Q. How do blonde brain cells die? A. Alone There was this typical peroxide blonde. She was really tired of being made fun of and being called a ditz, so she decided to get a makeover. She went to a salon and had her hair done so that she was, once again, a brunette. Now that she was a brunette, she decided she would take a drive in the country. So she hopped into her convertible and started driving. She saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, looking skeptical, said she could. So the blonde looked at the flock and said, "157." The farmer was amazed because she was right. She picked one out and was getting in her car when the farmer walked up to her. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?" Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? A. Pregnant Three blondes were walking through a forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think these are bird tracks." The second blonde looked at them and said, "No, these are deer tracks." The third blonde looked down, and BOOM!!! she gets run over by a train. A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve. "Oh, goodness, six please," said the blonde. "I don't think I could ever eat twelve!" One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?" Those were jokes from pete, these are my jokes! there were three swimmers (women), a blonde, brunette, and a red-head.They were going 2 attempt 2 breast stroke across the English Channel. There were many people there, radio stations, newspaper journalists, and tv people, along w/ cameras and video cameras. they were going 2 record their time, and report waht happened. they all started at 11:00 p.m. an hour later, the brunett arrived crawling up on shore and was interviewed, another hour after that (two hours than from when they started) the red-head crawled up on shore and was interviewed. Nearly 10 hours after that, the blonde crawled up onto shore, when asked y it took so long, she replied "i don't want 2 sound like a sore loser, but it seems 2 me that the other girls were using their arms" haha! lol! i got that one from brooke actually! FINALLY A BLONDE GUY JOKE! There were three consrtuction working men, an italian, a mexican,and a blonde man, they worked on the highest floor of the building they worked on, the 20th floor, every day. one day, they sat on the bean of the 20th floor, eating lunch. the italian looked into his lunch box and frowned, he said, "spaghetti and meatballs! i'm so sick of spagheti and meatballs! i have had it every day since we started working here! if i get it one more time, im going to jump off this building!" then , the mexican looked in his lunch box,he 2 frowned, he said, "tacos and beans again, if i get tacos and beans again, i too will jump off this building!" then the blonde looked in his lunch box and he said, "baloney again, if i get baloney one more time im going 2 jump off the building 2!" the next day at lunch time, the italian looked n his lunch box, spaghetti and meatballs, so surer enough, he jumped off the building 2 his death, then the mexican looked in his lunch box and found tacos and beans, so he 2 jumped off the building to his death, the same thing happened to the blonde w/ baloney,an he died too. at the funeral, the wives of the construction workers mourned, then italian's wife wailed, "if i had known he did not li espaghetti i wouln't have made it for his lunch," the mexican's wife said the same thing. then every1 looked at the blonde's wife and she said, "hey, don't blame me, he packs his own lunch!" *another possible outcome would have been that the blonde asked his wife 2 make him a baloney sandwich, and yet another would be that it wasn't baloney it was chicken! another joke (adds onto one of pete's) what confuses a blonde: you tell her 2 go into an oval- shaped office and sit in the corner what confuses u: the blonde comes back and says she did it! other jokes: Q.why were the blonde's boobs square? A. beacause she forgot to take out the tissue when asked what the blonde was doing at the pop machine, she answered, look! all u have to do is put in a dollar, push a button, and u win every time!!!! just a joke! Q. what's green and red and goes 180 mph? A. a frog in a blender! Q. what's the difference between cheerios and the packers? A. cheerios belong in a bowl! |
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