Eminem "The Real Slim Shady" - Music - http://maxpages.com/lyricstown/The_Real_Slim

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here...

Ya’ll act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
Started whoopin' her ass worse than before
They first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
It’s the return of the
Ah, wait, no way, your kidding,
He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?
And Dr Dre said...
...Nothing you idiots
Dr. Dre’s dead, he's locked in my basement
(Haha)
Femenist women loved Eminem
Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him,
Look at him, walking around grabing his you know what
Flippin' at you know who
(Yeah, but he's so cute, though)
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,
But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips!
My bum is on your lips!
And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit 4th grade
They got the Discovery Channel, don’t they?
We ain't nothing but mammals,
Well, some of us cannabals
Who would rather rip people open like canolopes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wear your panty hoes,
Sing the chorus and it goes...

Chorus:
I'm Slim Shady
Yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys
are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady
Yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys
are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up

Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so f**k him and f**k you too
You think I give a damn about a grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
(But Slim, what if you win? Wouldn’t it be weird?)
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
S**t, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little b***h put me on blast on MTV
(Yeah he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hehe)
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don’t give a f**k like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk, and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me

Chorus

I'm like a headtrip to listen to
'Cause I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya’ll
And I don’t got to be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it
Err, I just s**t it better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerking
But this whole bag of viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King
Spittin' on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot
Circling, screaming I don’t give a f**k
With his windows down and system up
So will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus

Hahah,
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
F**k it, let's all stand up

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Page Updated Tue May 23, 2000 8:06pm EDT