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| Due to the fact that I am often overcome by the horrendous effects of boredom, I have compiled all my thoughts while being bored into one big journal. here are some various things I have put in my journal since on random days. July 3, 2001 July 3, 2001 (This is actually a rant about the swiffer sweeper) Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with the Swiffer Sweeper people (who are they anyway??) What is with those swiffer sweeper things? I don’t get it. Why do the "reusable sheets" cost so much? Same with the handle. I mean, yeah sure, the commercials with those army guys are great, but the product, frankly is a rip-off. All it is a plastic stick attached to a thin piece of plastic and the "reusable sheets" are just like fabric softener. Sure there are a few differences between those sheets and fabric softener sheets, but fabric softener sheets cling basically to everything, so I’m sure they could pick up dirt and stuff. For a cheaper, more reliable version of this product you must first gather the following materials: 1. A stick. 2. A piece of cardboard, approximately 8" by 3". 3. A sheet of fabric softener. Step 1. Glue the bottom of the stick (may use either end) to the cardboard. Step 2. Attach the fabric softener sheet to the bottom of the cardboard (must use bottom of cardboard) Voila! There you have it. An even swiffier sweeper. July 11, 2001 Today is a very bad day. I'm not sure why, but I don't feel so good today. I think that might have something to do with the fact that a *certain someone* (you know who you are) has made me very mad today. INTERJECTION FROM PRESENT DAY ME I just got the cutest email from my friend Kat, okay here it is... Subject: Fwd: Good story Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge and all the others, including love. One day, it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So,all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then, Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, "I'm sorry but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere." Then, Love decided to ask Vanity for help, who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you," Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat." Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, " Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry but I just need to be alone now." Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me with you." But, Happiness was so overjoyed, that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come, Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land, the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "But, why did Time help me when no one else would?" Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is." Anyway, back to the July 11th entry. I'm mad and have every right to be. So if you're reading this, which I doubt you are, then....well...you're reading this. Okay, that's all I really have to say. (that's a really dumb entry, to tell ya the truth I can't even remember who I was mad at. Maybe I wasn't even mad) July 20, 2001 Today is a Friday! woo-hoo! Don't I sound enthusiastic. I just got back from piano lessons. I think there should be a TV show where you have this family and they're a boring family - vanilla, if you will...Oh you won't???- Well, anyway, they are the most boring people in the world. They don't have any set personalities, but the actors and actresses that play them are all comedians. So what happens is people all around the country would send in a list of characters to match the nameless family on the TV show. They give the studio a scenario, such as a " the father wants to sell the house and move to alaska" Just simple little scenarios. Then they would give the family a name and all the family members names. The producers would randomly pick scenarios (that were polite and made sense) and each episode would contain one of the scenarios and the actors/comedians would have to come up with the entire script and little conflicts on the spot. Like improv stuff. The show would be called Families:(and whatever the family name was for each episode would go in here. for example Families: The Smiths) Just an idea, oh yeah, and if you steal my idea and use it, give me credit or I will sue. Haha. Anyway, not much else is going on on. Talk later. Bye now. August 5th I have to yet transfer this document from somewhere else, but it's a particulalrly amusing one, so it will be worth the wait. August 13 (this entry can also be found in I would like to take this time to talk to you about an extremely important topic: Where am I? I, like most of you, have long pondered this question, thinking its answer is hidden so well that the human mind cannot find it. But, alas, I have found the answer to this question. I have sought wisdom from all people of importance, including President Bush, The Pope and the men at a local adult daycare center. Except for the old men at the local daycare, I received no useful information at all. (In case you’re wondering, the men at the daycare told me about the National Plumber’s Foundation plan to destroy the world in 2047, with a high application of Draino.) So I went to the glorious Internet. I knew of one place; one solitary kingdom; where I just might be able find the answer to the question that had frustrated me for the past 8 years. I went to my navigator bar, typed in the name of this holy site, and with a simple click of the mouse, I reached my destination: AskJeeves.com. As soon as I saw our bald, pinstripe-suit-clad butler friend, I was sure I would find the answer. I quickly typed in my question and in the blink of an eye a screen came up. Under the heading that said, "Click below for your answers", I saw a link that said, "Where am I?" I was so excited I almost called my good friend Bob, which would have cut off my Internet connection and leave me, still, answerless. As soon I calmed down a bit, I clicked on those words. Where am I? Ah, these simple phrase, that used to bring so many tears and so much anger, had suddenly made me the happiest person on earth, for I now the answer to this question; I knew the punch line in this confusing joke; I knew the secrets of the world. Soon the page started to download and on the top of the page it was there: Ask Jeeves Answer: The Milky Way Galaxy - Our Home. The Milky Way Galaxy - Our Home The Milky Way is the spiral galaxy we call home, as do roughly 100 billion other stars. It looks very much like other spiral galaxies when viewed from above. There are spiral arms and a nucleus. The Sun can be found rather far from the center of the Galaxy, halfway to the edge of visible matter along the Orion spiral arm. The Sun is revolving at a speed of half a million miles per hour around the center of the Galaxy, yet it will still take 200 million years for it to go around once. Radio observations of gas in our Galaxy reveal that the gas is feeling the gravitational effect of matter far beyond the edge of the visible Galaxy. Astronomers call this material dark matter, since electromagnetic radiation from it is not currently detectable at any wavelength. Like other spiral galaxies, the Milky Way has a bulge, a disk, and a halo. Although all are parts of the same galaxy, each contains different types of objects. The central bulge contains old stars, the halo houses globular clusters and dark matter, and the disk is filled with gas, dust, and young stars. Our Sun is itself a fairly young star at only 5 billion years old. The Milky Way is at least 5 billion years older than that. The ages of globular clusters suggest that it may be closer to 10 billion years older. Recent observations of the numbers and distributions of stars in the Galaxy suggest that it may have a bar! Views of the Milky Way Galaxy from above and from the side Click on top image for full size (276K JPEG) Click on bottom image for full size (204K JPEG) Questions and answers about the Milky Way Last modified July 16, 2001 by the Windows Team The source of this material is Windows to the Universe, at http://www.windows.ucar.edu/ at the University Corporation for Atmospheric Research (UCAR). ©1995-1999, 2000 The Regents of the University of Michigan; ©2000-01 University Corporation for Atmospheric Research. All Rights Reserved. I hope this changed your life as much as it did mine. Thank you, and always remember where you are. |
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