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| CALDER.NET - Joke of the Day - Often original, always intelligent jokes and humor in your email box from 1 to 7 times a week. Browse the archives as well. This one is a great joke, a translation from arabic, click on the following hyperlink: http://www.sherine.com/jokes/translation.html +++++++++++++ The balding middle-aged man asked his barber, "Why do I have to pay full price for a haircut -- there's so little of it." "Well," said the barber, "actually I only charge a little for cutting it. What you're paying for mostly is my time searching for it !" (5/99) *&*&*&*& SIGNS ON CHURCH PROPERTY "No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace." "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!" "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins." "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!" An ad for a Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets." When the restaurant next to the Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too." "Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!" "People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are." "God so loved the world that He did not send a committee." "Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!" "When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right." "Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday." "How will you spend eternity -- Smoking or Non-smoking?" "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives" "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world." ""If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns." "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon." "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---------> (U R) @#@#@#@#@#@#@ Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. It was nominated "best email of 1997". A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review..... Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees" Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service" RS : "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??" Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs" RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pry,boy, pooch?" G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine" RS : "Hokay. An San tos?" G:"What?" RS:"San tos. July San tos?" G: "I don't think so" RS: "No? Judo one toes??" G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means." RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?" G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine." RS:"We bother?" G: "No..just put the bother on the side." RS: "Wad?" G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side." RS: "Copy?" G: "Sorry?" RS:"Copy...tea...mill?" G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??" G: "Whatever you say" RS: "Tendjewberrymud" G : "You're welcome" >> >>>>> HEAVEN AND HELL Heaven is when the cooks are French The mechanics are German The police are British The lovers are Italian and all is run by the Swiss... Hell is when the cooks are British, The mechanics are French, The police are German or Turkish The lovers are Swiss and all is run by the Italians! @#@#@#@#@#@# Fu, Bu and Chu immigrated to the US from China. They decided to become American Citizens, and "Americanize" their names. Bu - called himself "Buck" Chu called himself "Chuck" and Fu had to go back to China. Get on the list and be informed about various topics that interest you  |
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