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| FLORIDA, LAND OF SAFETY *In Florida, you may be arrested for sitting on a milk carton. FLORIDA, LAND OF ROMANCE *In Florida, under the marital rape laws,if you kiss your spouse three times without prior permission you may go to jail for life as a three strikes felon. *In Florida, the State Attorney's office recently boasted they would put St. Joseph in jail for child abuse (marrying an under age girl) if he ever set foot in Florida. * In Florida, it is a serious crime to have a mistress or lover. *In Florida, it is a serious crime to use any but the missionary position in sexual relations *In Florida, husbands who show too much affection for their wives are subject to investigation for domestic abuse. FLORIDA, LAND OF EDUCATION AND MULTICULTURALISM *In Florida, a 6 year old child is judged fully capable of crossing a 6 lane highway to go to school if the school is within 2 miles. otherwise its child abuse. *State Universities charge you extra for teaching the basic math and english you paid them with your taxes for 12 years to learn in public school as " an incentive." *In Florida, a master's level of education is functionally equivalent to an 8th grade education before public education came into existence in the 1850's *In Florida, Latin Children are threatened with jail or suspended from school for drinking Sangria, the Latin cultural drink. *Florida counties currently give away moderately used schoolbooks for $1.00 each while petitioning the legislature for millions to alleviate the schoolbook shortage that forces 3 kids at a time to share books. FLORIDA, LAND OF FREE ENTREPRISE AND PRIVATE PROPERTY *You may permanently lose your home, under forfeiture, at any time on unsupported affidavit by a police officer that you are suspected of illegal activity there. because of the fiction that your house has no rights, you must prove innocence, not the reverse. *In Florida, the right to sue for defective products over 12 years old was recently expropriated. Pacemaker stopped due to defective contacts? Roof collapsed? That food additive caused your cancer? Tough luck. You should have known better than to buy American. FLORIDA, LAND OF COMPASSION *Florida reduced its welfare rolls by the simple expedient of posting armed police officers at welfare offices and warning people they would go to prison for even innocent errors on their application. This was not reported in the press. The Legislature recently considered a multi-million self congratulatory study to determine why they are so successful in cutting welfare rolls. *In Florida, historical authorities now question whether there is a meaningful trial by jury. There are board trials of 6 persons; juries are legally regularly denied important facts. *In Florida, a dying child was ordered to take down his treehouse for zoning violations. REMEMBER... *In Florida, it is illegal to lie to a police officer who has gone mad and is about to shoot you. He is only subject to only limited suit for his actions while your property could be forfeit. But it is always legal for a legal official to lie to you. |
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