What Is Domestic Abuse?
Are you caught in a relationship that feels unfair and abusive, and though you've tried to change it, it just isn't changing? Browse these links to inform yourself, you just may not be as alone as you think, and there might be help.
Talk about it confidence, the first step to healing! Discussion message board, You Are Not Alone!
What is Domestic Violence? Its Forms, Myths, and Answers to Common Questions
Verbal and Emotional Abuse? How many of these things has your partner done to you?
The Tasmanian Women's Health Network The more you know, the more you are EMPOWERED to make decisions yourself
The following information is a helpful exerpt from: Violance Against Women Online Resources When you have time, we encourage you to go there and read their entire article.
Types of Marital Rape
It appears that marital rape is most likely to occur in relationships characterized by other forms of violence. This has led some researchers to argue that marital rape is "just one extension of domestic violence" (Johnson & Sigler, 1997, p. 22). On one hand, viewing rape in marriage as a form of domestic violence is logical given that researchers have found that the majority of women who are raped by their partners are also battered. In "battering rapes," women experience both physical and sexual violence in the relationship (Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985). Women who are raped and battered by their partners experience the violence in various ways-e.g. some are battered during the sexual violence or the rape may follow a physically violent episode where the husband wants to "make up" and coerces his wife to have sex against her will (Bergen, 1996; Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985). Other women experience what has been labeled "sadistic" or "obsessive" rape; these assaults involve torture and/or "perverse" sexual acts and are often physically violent. Pornography is frequently involved with sadistic forms of rape (Bergen, 1996; Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985).
On the other side of this debate, some have argued that marital rape should not be subsumed under the heading of domestic violence because doing so in the past has led to rape in marriage being overlooked as a distinctive problem (for more on this debate see Bergen, 1996; Russell, 1990). It is necessary to recognize marital rape as a distinctive problem because for many women who are battered and raped, the sexual violence is particularly devastating and that trauma must be addressed specifically by service providers (Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985). Additionally, it is problematic to assume that marital rape survivors are all battered wives because this ignores the reality that some women are raped by their husbands but do not experience other forms of violence. It must be reiterated that most of the research on marital rape has been conducted with battered women. This methodological problem may overstate the extent to which women are both battered and raped by their partners. Indeed, Russell (1990) found that four percent of women in her sample who had ever been married had been raped by their partners but not battered. In what Finkelhor and Yllo (1985) have called "force-only rape," husbands use only the amount of force necessary to coerce their wives; battering may not be characteristic of these relationships. Forty percent of Finkelhor and Yllo's sample of women were victims of "force-only rape." Thus, to categorize marital rape only as an extension of domestic violence excludes these women and their experiences. As we will address later, it is important for advocates who are involved in trying to end violence against women to see marital rape both as a form of rape and of domestic violence in order to assist survivors.
This assistance may be particularly necessary given that women who are raped by their husbands are likely to be raped many times-often 20 times or more before they are able to end the violence (Bergen, 1996; Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985; Russell, 1990). Marital rape survivors not only experience a higher number of assaults, but research indicates that they are more likely than women raped by acquaintances to experience unwanted oral and anal intercourse (Peacock, 1995). Husbands often rape their wives when they are asleep, or use coercion, verbal threats, physical violence, or weapons to force their wives to have sex. Importantly, some researchers have found that compared to batterers, men who batter and rape are particularly dangerous men and are more likely to severely injure their wives and potentially escalate the violence to murder (Browne, 1987; Campbell, 1989).
Risk Factors
Most researchers of marital rape agree that rape in marriage is an act of violence - an abuse of power by which a husband attempts to establish dominance and control over his wife. While the research thus far reveals no composite picture of a husband-rapist, these men are often portrayed as jealous, domineering individuals who feel a sense of entitlement to have sex with their "property." Given this, women appear to be particularly at risk for being raped by their partners under some circumstances. As was previously indicated, women who are battered are at greater likelihood of being raped by their partners (Frieze, 1983). Additionally, pregnancy appears to be a factor that places women at higher risk for both physical and sexual abuse (Bergen, 1996; Browne, 1993; Campbell, 1989). Being ill or recently discharged from the hospital are also risk factors for women (Campbell & Alford, 1989; Mahoney & Williams, 1998). As research with battered women has previously revealed, women are at particularly high risk of experiencing physical and sexual violence whey they attempt to leave their abusers for this represents a challenge to their abusers' control. Finkelhor and Yllo (1985) found that two thirds of the women in their sample were sexually assaulted at the end of the relationship. Other researchers have found that women who are separated or divorced from their partners appear to be at high risk for sexual abuse (Dobash & Dobash, 1992; Kurz, 1997; Russell, 1990). Some researchers have noted other risk factors including drug and alcohol use by the abuser, and previous experiences of sexual abuse among the victims. However, these factors are perceived as more controversial and the research is far from conclusive (Frieze, 1983; Russell, 1990; Whatley, 1996).
The Effects of Marital Rape
Despite the historical myth that rape by one's partner is a relatively insignificant event causing little trauma, research indicates that marital rape often has severe and long-lasting consequences for women. The physical effects of marital rape may include injuries to the vaginal and anal areas, lacerations, soreness, bruising, torn muscles, fatigue and vomiting (Adams, 1993; Bergen, 1996). Women who have been battered and raped by their husbands may suffer other physical consequences including broken bones, black eyes, bloody noses, and knife wounds that occur during the sexual violence. Campbell and Alford (1989) report that one half of the marital rape survivors in their sample were kicked, hit or burned during sex. Specific gynecological consequences of marital rape include vaginal stretching, miscarriages, stillbirths, bladder infections, infertility and the potential contraction of sexually transmitted diseases including HIV (Campbell & Alford, 1989).
Some researchers have compared the psychological effects of being raped by one's partner to other forms of violence. Given that women who are raped by their partners are likely to experience multiple assaults, completed sexual attacks, and rape by someone that they once presumably loved and trusted, it is not surprising that marital rape survivors seem to suffer severe and long-term psychological consequences (Kilpatrick, Best, Saunders, & Vernon, 1988; Frieze, 1983). Similar to other survivors of sexual violence, some of the short-term effects of marital rape include anxiety, shock, intense fear, depression, suicidal ideation, and post-traumatic stress disorder (Bergen, 1996; Kilpatrick et al., 1988; Russell, 1990). Compared to women raped by strangers and those whom they don't know well, marital rape survivors report even higher rates of anger and depression (Koss, Dinero, Siebel, & Cox, 1988). Long-term effects often include disordered eating, sleep problems, depression, problems establishing trusting relationships, and increased negative feelings about themselves (Bergen, 1996; Frieze, 1983). Research has also indicated that the psychological effects are likely to be long lasting-some marital rape survivors report flash-backs, sexual dysfunction, and emotional pain for years after the violence (Bergen, 1996; Whatley, 1993).
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