Nice Neighborhood, So Why Don't I Know My Neighbors? - Tuesday, March 09, 1999 - Newsletters - http://maxpages.com/ljwbthisweek/Meeting

By Larry J. W. Brown

Published in the "So. Washington County Bulletin" newspaper of Minnesota.

A loud obnoxious scraping sound began piercing into my brain early on Tuesday morning, March 9th. At first I tried to ignore it and stay asleep, but it was so loud, and right outside my window, so that I had to finally release my grip on a dream which I wasn't enjoying very much anyway, and return to the waking world of winter reality. I began to realize that the sound which woke me was coming from a snow plow as it scraped my neighbor's driveway. Then it came back to me that when I went to bed the night before, there was a heavy snow storm going on.

As I fought my way through the process of becoming fully awake, I began to realize that I had better get up a little earlier anyway and give myself extra time to get to work this morning. I glanced at the clock---5 AM. I wasn't surprised that the plowing was taking place so early. I know that plowing snow requires working during some long, odd hours. My "grown and gone" son, Rob, has a snow removal business and stays busy around-the-clock when the weather is bad until the job is done (kind of a winter version of "you've got to make hay while the sun shines"). He had dropped by and plowed my driveway the previous night.

Although I didn't know it yet, the snow had continued to fall and the street plow had made it's contribution so that I was now socked in worse than the night before. As I lay in my dark bed room listening to the icy sound of this peculiar kind of winter work and wishing I could sleep a little longer, a smile found it's way across my face. I knew immediately who this was---it was my neighbor, I only know him as John, doing what he has done ever since we moved into our home on Hyde Ave. in Cottage Grove in December of 1994. He was out in his pickup truck with the plow attached, cleaning the driveways for his neighbors. "It's just something I enjoy doing" was his response to me when I asked him why he does it.

Whatever happened to neighbors like this? It seems like there used to be more of them around. Maybe that was back before we became convinced that "nice guys finish last". I used to hear that a lot. Did I begin believing it somewhere along the line? I have found myself at times, passing up a neighbor who is in need with very little thought about it. I have said to myself "don't worry about them, someone else will do it" or "I have my own stuff to worry about".

How refreshing it always is, when someone gives up their time, energy and resources, just to help others without expecting a reward. In college I studied a social concept called "pro-social behavior" defined as doing something for someone else without any expectation of reward of any kind. The professor suggested that it was a mythical idea. "Everyone's looking for a reward of some kind, even if it's just the good feeling they get from doing the deed." Well, before we became so philosophical about it, doing a good thing for the good feeling of being a good person was a good enough reason! I happen to think it still is!

The funny thing is, I believe in doing all kinds of things to help others---somewhere else. You know what I mean---at church, in other neighborhoods, for kids in India. But what about in my own neighborhood, the people who live next door? I am embarrassed to admit that in the nearly five years I have lived in my home, I don't really know any of them. Some of them I haven't even met. After all, one of them once called the police and had my dog picked up when she had gotten out of the fence. Why should I want to meet people like that?

I can see I have some work to do. It's time for me to practice what I preach and be a little friendlier, on purpose, without being invited to do so. How about you? I would like to hear from some of you on this. Do you have a neighbor like John? Would you like to send or receive suggestions for getting to know your neighbors? You may write to this newspaper, or email me at: ljwb@bigfoot.com.

ljwb@mail.com

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