eminem lyrics - {slim shady LP} - Music - http://maxpages.com/limpandkorn/eminem

"My Name Is"

Hi! My name is..(what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is..(scratches Slim Shady
Hi! My name is..(huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. (scratches) Slim Shady

Ahem..excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?

(Eminem)
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah Yeah Yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my
eyelids? (uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah Yeah!)
Try cid and get fucked up worse than my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight,I'm trying to get my head straight
but i can't figure out which Spice Girl i want to impregnate
(Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said,"Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like
Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! (Shady,wait a minute,thats my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck,God sent me to piss the world off!

Chorus

(Eminem)
My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high
Thanks alot,next semester I'll be thirty-five
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
and stapled his nuts to a stck of papers (Owwwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club,had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender,then stsuck my dick in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial,runnin over pedestrians
in a spaceship while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE
FRIENDS!"
Ninety-Nine percent of my life i was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do Damn!
T told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and nmae it after her
(Oh Thank You!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans
(Ahhhhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my auotgraph
(Dude,can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it:'Dear Dave,thanks for the support,ASSHOLE!

Chorus

(Eminem)
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get HIm!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there ,OPERATE!

I'm not ready to leave,it's too scary to die (Fuck That!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetary and buried alive
(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go Ahead)
All my life I was deprived
I ain't had a woman in years,and my palms are to hairy to hide
(Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk,I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulletproof vest on and shooot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that i slit his throat,in this dream I had

Chorus

Just the two of us.. (8X)

[Eminem]
Baby your da-da loves you (hey)
And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens
You're all I got in this world
I would never give you up for nothin
Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me
I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat
Oh where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin
But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women
that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit
Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)
And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?
Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)
And mama said she wants to show how far she can float
And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin
dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama's messy isn't she? We'll let her wash off in the water
and me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

See honey.. there's a place called heaven and a place called hell
A place called prison and a place called jail
And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one
Cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson
And you don't want a brother do ya? (Nah)
Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better
I'll explain it to ya
But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad
She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad
But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out
Sit back in your chair honey, quit tryin to climb out (WAHH!)
I told you it's okay HaiHai, wanna ba-ba?
Take a night-night? Nan-a-boo, goo-goo ga-ga?
Her make goo-goo ca-ca? Da-da change your dia-dee
Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty
Your dad'll wake her up as soon as we get to the water
Ninety-seven Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Wake up sweepy head we're here, before we pway
we're gonna take mama for a wittle walk along the pier
Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea
Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin in her ear (ma-maa!)
That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry
Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake
Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)
We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock
Ready now, here we go, on the count of free..
One.. two.. free.. WHEEEEEE! (whoooooshhhhh)
There goes mama, spwashin in the wa-ta
No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order
No more step-da-da, no more new brother
Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)
Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk
But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (4X)

[Eminem]
Just me and you baby
is all we need in this world
Just me and you
Your da-da will always be there for you
Your da-da's always gonna love you
Remember that
If you ever need me I will always be here for you
If you ever need anything, just ASK
Da-da will be right there
Your da-da loves you
I love you baby

i'm shady

Who came through with two glocks to terrorize your borough (Huh?)
Told you how to slap dips and murder your girl (I did)
Gave you all the finger and told you to sit and twirl
Sold a billion tapes and still screamed fuck the world
(Slim Shady), so come and kill me while my name's hot
And shoot me twenty five times in the same spot (Ow)
Think I've got a generation brainwashed
To pop pills and smoke pot till they brains rot (Uh, oh?)
Stop they blood flow until they veins clot
I need a pain shot, and a shot of plain scotch
Purple haze and acid raindrops
Spike the punch at the party and drain pop (gulp gulp)
Shaved my armpits and wore a tank top
Bad Boy, I told you that I can't stop
Gotta make 'em fear you before you make 'em feel you
So everybody buy my shit or I'mma come and kill you

I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets
I'm your brother when you need some new weed to set you free
You know me I'm your friend when you need a minithin
(Slim Shady)
I'm Shady

I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful (Uh huh huh)
I like birds, bees, I like people
I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful
Like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in preschool (Woo!)
The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike
While I blow my brain out just to see what it feels like
And this is how I am in real life
I don't want to just die a normal death, I wanna be killed twice (Uh huh)
How you wanna scare somebody with a gun threat
When they're high off of drugs they haven't even done yet
So bring the money by tonight
Cause your wife says this is the biggest knife
She ever saw in her life (Help me help me)
I try to keep it positive and play it cool
Shoot up the playground and tell the kids to stay in school (Stay in school!)
Cause I'm the one they can relate to and look up to better
Tonight I think I'll write my biggest fan a fuck you letter

(chorus)

I listen to your demo tape and act like I don't like it (Aw that shit is wack)
Six months later you hear your lyrics on my shit (What????)
People don't buy shit no more they just dub it
That's why I'm still broke and had the number one club hit (Yup, uh huh)
But they love it when you make your business public
So fuck it, I've got herpes while we're on the subject (Uh huh)
And if I told you I had AIDS y'all would play it
Cause you stupid motherfuckers think I'm playing when I say it
Well, I do take pills, don't do speed
Don't do crack, don't do coke, I do smoke weed
Don't do smack, I do do shrooms
Do drink beer, I just wanna make a few things clear
My baby mama's not dead (nuh uh), she's still alive and bitching (yup)
And I don't have herpes, my dick's just itching
It's not syphilis, and as for being AIDS infested
I don't know yet, I'm too scared to get tested

(chorus)

I told you I was Shady

Y'all didn't wanna believe me

I'm Shady

And that's my name

Cum On Everybody

Yo, mic check
Testing one, two, um... twelve

My favoite color is red, like the blood shed
From Kurt Cobain's head when he shot himself dead
Women all grabbin' at my shishkabob
Bought Lauryn Hill's tape so her kids could starve
You thought I was livid, now I'm even more so
Shit I got full blown AIDS and a sore throat
I got a wardrobe with an orange robe
I'm in the fourth row, signin autographs until my show
I just remembered that I'm absent minded
Wait, I mean I've lost my mind I can't find it
I freestylin ever verse that I spit
Cuz I don't even remember the words to my shit
I told the doc that I need a change in sickness
I gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphalis
Put my LP on your Christmas wish list
You wanna get high, here bitch just sniff this

Cum on everybody, get down tonight (8X)

I tried suicide once and I'll try it again
That's why I write songs where I die at the end
Cuz I don't give a fuck, like my middle finger was stuck
And I was waving it at everybody screamin' "I suck"
I go on stage in front of a sellout crowd
And yell out loud "All of y'all get the hell out now"
Fuck rap, I'm givin' it up y'all, I'm Sorry

I'm bored out of my gord
So I took a hammer and nailed my foot the the floorboard of my Ford
I guess I'm just a sick, sick bastard
Just one sandwich short of a picnic basket
One Excederin tablet short of a full medicine cabinet
Fell like my head has been shredded like lettuce and cabbage
And if you ever see a video for this shit
I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit

Cum on everybody, get down tonight (8X)

Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit
Cause they think that I'm a motherfuckin Beastie Boy
So I told em I was Mike D, It was like
I told em, "Meet me at Kid Rock's next concert
I'll be standin by the Loch Ness monster, peace out"
Then I jetted to the weed house
smoked out till I started bustin freestyles
Broke out then I dipped quick back to the crib, put on lipstick
Crushed up the Tylenol then ate it with a dipstick
Made a couple of crank calls collect
"Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, can you accept?"
I wanna make songs all the fellas dub
And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous of
So just remember when I bomb your set
Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset

Cum on everybody get down tonight (16X)

if i had a million dollors

Life.. by Marshall Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
put in front of your optical to slow you down
And everytime you think you gotten past it
it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil
Money'll make them same friends come back around
swearing that they was always down
What is life?
I'm tired of life
I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins
I'm tired of this DJ playing YOUR shit when he spins
Tired of not having a deal
Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
Tired of drowning in my sorrow
Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin off
I'm tired of jobs startin off at five fifty an hour
then this boss wanders why I'm smartin off
I'm tired of being fired everytime I fart and cough
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
for this jerk breathing down my neck driving me bezerk
I'm tired of using plastic silverware
Tired of working in Building Square
Tired of not being a millionaire
But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss
I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
I'm tired of not having a phone
Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have it on
Tired of not driving a BM
Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him
Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM
Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
Tired of not being on tour
Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work
in the back of a Contour
I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
Tired of being stared at
I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs
Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin half the skill as me
saying they wasn't feeling me when nobody's as ill as me
I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs
Tired of J-L-B saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"
But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss
You know what I'm saying?
I'm tired of all of this bullshit
Telling me to be positive
How'm I 'sposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?
Know what I'm sayin?
I rap about shit around me, shit I see
Know what I'm sayin? Right now I'm tired of everything
Tired of all this player hating that's going on in my own city
Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin?
But ey, it's cool though, you know what I'm sayin?
Just fed up
That's my word

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SAM AKA: POGO
west islip	new york
USA {duh}
Fax e~mail me ppls!
CandiKisses2269@cs.com

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Page Updated Thu Mar 2, 2000 12:26am EST